Fleet Week

This is Fleet Week in NYC---when all the Navy ships pull into the harbors of Manhattan and unleash loads of sailors onto the streets of our fair city.

Like most New Yorkers, I don’t exactly know why they show up this time every year. They just do. And the young men all look so handsome in their dress whites. And by young I mean YOUNG! It’s weird to think that if danger ever really hit the shores of the Hudson River, it would be thwarted by a bunch of eighteen year-old kids.

Sure, you get some officers who are a bit older. I waited on a couple of them tonight. All decorated up and SO, SO nice. Service people, in addition to always being extremely polite and kind, ALWAYS leave a great tip. I suppose it helps that most establishments (mine included) offer discounts for service personnel. We offer 20% off your bill. Most places in NYC give a 10-20% discount for these folks---and well they should.

But, may I say, I have one tiny complaint about our boys in white. And, well, it’s not really them per se, but the Navy as a whole.

Okay---exactly WHEN did our U.S. Navy stop teaching sailors to tap dance?

Because I’ve met a lot of these guys, and NONE of them know how to tap. Not even a little time-step. It’s a disgrace. There once was a day when the ships would pull up and a legion of sailors would tap down the gang plank and when they reached shore, would sing out, “New York, New York! New York, New York! It’s a wonderful town!”

They don’t do that anymore. I know. I went down there. I watched. They just walk down the gangplank all ho-hum, la-de-dah. Lazy bunch of sailors! What is our Navy teaching these guys? They’re on a ship all day, every day---what else do they have to do? How much swabbing does the deck need? I think what that deck needs is a little soft-shoe, thank you very much.

So this week, I firmly believe that it is my patriotic duty to teach a sailor to tap dance. And he can teach two friends, and they can teach two friends, and so an and so on and so on…

So, if you meet a sailor and he knows how to do the shim sham---well, you can thank me later.