tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8052113176797242012024-03-04T23:50:41.751-08:00Hyacinth Girl'You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
'They called me the hyacinth girl.'hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-77804186146809552952011-10-24T18:59:00.000-07:002011-10-24T20:52:14.865-07:00Dear Laundry Room Book Angel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNlSWo6vayjvbs6xx-tuS3k3DDHdfTA4FtqeeJrYgC53SCrsklAtmASzMdvTe32PUlGMxHPNISAbdmGx6a3dab7cvcPlBqoX5ofKnv4RO6B14NWVxNo0UrCYZ0Oj4iJHXce3I_3lKKUPA/s1600/Book+Angel-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNlSWo6vayjvbs6xx-tuS3k3DDHdfTA4FtqeeJrYgC53SCrsklAtmASzMdvTe32PUlGMxHPNISAbdmGx6a3dab7cvcPlBqoX5ofKnv4RO6B14NWVxNo0UrCYZ0Oj4iJHXce3I_3lKKUPA/s320/Book+Angel-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 1.5em;"><br />
</div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don’t know who you are, or if you’re one person or several. But for the past few years, I’ve benefitted from your castaway books. Of course, that’s what I assume they are as I take my pick of the delicacies and scurry back to my nest. </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My friends tease me that I’m stealing books. “I found a great book in my laundry room this week…” </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“You mean you STOLE a great book!”</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’m careful not to be greedy, but always happy when I seemingly get first pick of the stash. I look them over carefully and choose one. Upstairs, as I wait for the washer to do its work, I think of one or two others I probably should have grabbed and beat myself up. Half an hour later, I scamper back down to put my laundry in the dryer, hoping against hope that the other book is still there. Oh god, please don’t let anyone else in the building be doing laundry and also interested in reading about Blind Tom, the 19th Century slave musical genius ……</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Over the past four years, I’ve found so many wonderful treasures in The Basement Bookmobile. One of the first was Ha Jin’s <em>Waiting</em>. A novel I’d heard about, always thought of reading, and then one day….there it was. And it was brilliant! I still recommend it to friends.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Though I work full-time, I go thru several books a week. Even when the A Train’s running express, that still leaves me at least 25 minutes to read on the trip to Midtown. I do buy new books when I can afford them, love the convenience of Amazon.com and admit that The Strand is my favorite place in NYC. </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But nothing beats The Laundry Room. It’s a wonderland of surprises!</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A few of my favorites over the years:</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Portable Dorothy Parker</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Heirloom: Notes From An Accidental Tomato Farmer</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Joseph Campbell’s <em>Myths to Live By</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Rape of the Nile: Tomb Robbers, Tourists, and Archaeologists in Egypt</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Egyptian Book of the Dead</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Kite Runner</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Illustrated History of New York</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The first three volumes of <em>The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><em>Strangers on the Train</em> by Patricia Highsmith</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Irish Fairy Tales</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Popular Book: A History of America’s Literary Tastes</span></em></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jorge Luis Borges’ <em>Labyrinths</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The petit book on Poirot’s Fashion</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Essay’s from the Writer’s Workshop</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A lovely edition of Rabelais</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My gay (and a few straight) friends were particularly jealous when I had Alison Arngrim’s <em>Confessions of a Prairie Bitch</em> in my bag!</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And a few months ago, when I was going thru a break-up, suddenly a copy of <em>It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken </em>appeared as I laundered pajamas stained with ice cream and pizza sauce. Can’t say it was brilliant writing. But was a great little friend to have handy during those dark days.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Last week I became the proud owner of <em>The Vanishing Race</em> on the history of the North American Indian.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And then this week you gifted me with The <em>New York Public Library Desk Reference</em> AND The Moosewood Cookbook! </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As a voracious reader, book-lover, and awesome cook!----THANK YOU!!!</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For four years, I’ve always loved the mystery of the Laundry Room Book Angel. And frankly, I still do. But have been so overjoyed with the books lately that I really felt the need to finally say “thank you”. Whoever you are. </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You make laundry day a pleasure. And wonderful reading the rest of the week.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whether you are one person or several----I am.... </span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gratefully yours,</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Bennett Avenue Book Reader </span></div>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-42488758567458232372011-04-05T18:10:00.000-07:002011-10-24T20:09:25.392-07:00PLEASE Tell Me If You Didn't Like My Play!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2z5d5bxIKZFJy2E4FvsRHEiEt4Di5j8tSW5iXitVFmtoJ5C4Cl6XItqJUJJ-oxulKGoocjj_aGsj9l-ZZkI_AUjwzMO7HdVCL07v6KWhaijO4SR270n9xo-noh0HPgmkF5VX3lBvm4To/s1600/Spotlight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2z5d5bxIKZFJy2E4FvsRHEiEt4Di5j8tSW5iXitVFmtoJ5C4Cl6XItqJUJJ-oxulKGoocjj_aGsj9l-ZZkI_AUjwzMO7HdVCL07v6KWhaijO4SR270n9xo-noh0HPgmkF5VX3lBvm4To/s320/Spotlight.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There seems to be a blog circulating on how to avoid telling a playwright you didn’t like his play. Nice post. Good thoughts. But here’s my rebuttal.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Writing a play is hard work. I congratulate each and every playwright who manages to complete a play----good or not. But let’s face it, some of them are bad.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I’m not saying this to be a jerk. I’m not thick-skinned. I’m the playwright who sits WAY in the back during a reading, often with my hands over my face in mortal fear. Desperately trying to gauge if what I put on paper is understood. Does it work? Does it suck? Can I make it better?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The first real play I wrote, I gave to my mother to read. Like a lot of first plays, mine was set in a bar. I knew it was a cliché, but tried to mock the cliché by showing how stagnant their lives had become in that small town bar. I thought the characters were interesting. That they had interesting things to say. “Let me just get my tea, honey,” Mom said as she settled into her dining room chair and turned to the first page. I had to leave the room. I couldn’t watch The Judgment of Mom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Half an hour later she laid the play on the tablecloth and gave me my very first review, “That was nice, honey. I liked it. It was just like <em>Cheers</em>. But did you have to use all those bad words?”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I knew two things for sure. First, that my play was NOTHING like <em>Cheers</em>. And second, Mom didn’t particularly care for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was okay with that. After all, it was my first play. But (outside of those bad words) WHY didn’t she like it? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I needed to find out. I went to The Playwright’s Center in Minneapolis. There, I learned how to give constructive criticism----and how to take it. Not “take it” like taking a punch in the face. But how to listen to what people were saying. How to take in all the criticism and then decide for myself what to discard and what to take to heart---and to paper.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">After many years of hard work (and many bad plays) I think I’ve become a pretty good writer. But I still need feedback. I still cling to the audience’s reaction during a reading. I re-write. Cut. Merge two characters into one. Cut some more. Lose entire scenes. Add new ones. Rearrange the plot points. Cut. Cut. Cut. And cut some more. I try to listen to the audience, the actors, and ANYONE who will offer ANY constructive criticism of my play.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sometimes I get my Mom’s elusive critique, “I liked it.” Sometimes I even get, “I LOVED it.” Sometimes my friends leave without uttering a word. Frankly, I don't know what any of that means. Maybe it's my Missouri roots---you've got to "Show-Me".</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I’ve taken classes with some AMAZING writers. Writers who were NOT gentle in their criticisms. I once took a weekend workshop with Romulus Linney---a playwright I held in VERY high esteem. The workshop seemed informal, and no one at the theatre told me to bring material, so I assumed we’d be writing new stuff and working on that. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Wrong.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Though I’d assiduously checked my email for weeks before the workshop----I was stunned when I showed up at a cabin in the mountains and twenty playwrights pulled material out of their bags. I had nothing. Zilch. I gingerly pulled my blank notebook out of my bag and awaited my death.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Linney, though polite, was pretty honest in his critiques. Almost startlingly so. Rarely do instructors get so blunt when dealing with paying customers. It made me respect (and fear) him all the more. Luckily, there was only time for about a half a dozen writers that night. I was given a reprieve till dawn. I went back to my cabin room, shut the door, and started writing. Regurgitating, to be exact. I’d been working on a new play. And, like most writers, had spent an inordinate amount of time on the first scene. I only needed ten pages. I strained to remember those very carefully wrought words.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">By four am, I had re-written the scene from memory by hand.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Three hours later, I got up, showered, and made my way to the only corner store within walking distance-----a gas station down the road. There, I bought a large coffee and a ream of paper. Back in my cabin room, I carefully copied my illegible scrawl onto a few sheets of college-ruled paper. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Half an hour later, I was sitting in front of Romulus Linney, waiting to be called to the stand.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In the meantime, he’d called several other writers to task. According to him, EVERY delicate jewel they’d brought in needed work. One piece in particular, he just came right out and said, “This is not a play. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not a play.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, he went on to say several other things that might help it actually BECOME a play----but I felt for the writer. Nothing’s as brutal as the master saying you created nothing at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finally, my turn came. My hands were shaking. While everyone had had several lovely computer printed copies of their script, I passed my measly hand-written copy to the two actors and the stage direction reader, apologized, and asked them if they could sit together and share. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was mortified at my unpreparedness. How often does one get the chance to study with a master and blow it by not only having no material, but also looking completely un-professional? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The actors read. They seemed to get the piece. The other students laughed in the right spots. Okay. So not a total disaster. Hopefully. I sat in silence waiting for judgment. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Romulus Linney looked around the room. A calculated silence. He asked what they thought of the play. Most of the writers remained quiet and terrified. I remember two brave souls commenting that they thought it was funny and that the characters seemed real. That sort of thing. It wasn’t looking good. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Then Romulus Linney leaned his elbows on the table, looked around the room, and simply said, “THAT is how to start a play!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was stunned. I think for an entire minute, I didn’t even breathe.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And then he went on about how wonderful it was. How the characters worked together. How the set-up worked. How EVERYTHING worked. “You’re very talented,” he ended. “That was a very, very well-written piece.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was in heaven for weeks. I sent query letters to agents, production companies, theatres, networks, pretty much anyone who might take an interest in my work.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But nothing. No one wanted me or my scripts. Maybe Romulus Linney was wrong. Maybe I stunk. I decided to take another class. Then another. All with amazing, talented, working writers. Writers who’d received prestigious awards. Writers I admired. On a regular basis, I was told I was talented, brilliant, a wonderful writer. Was always singled out in these workshops for having produced “the kind of stuff I really like.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">One writer/teacher actually said to me, “Did you write this just to make me happy?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Despite all this wondrous praise----I was STILL waiting tables. No agent. No nothing. Just $4.35 an hour plus tips.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">What was I doing wrong? No one would tell me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finally, I took one more class. With another well-known writer. At the end of the reading, I sat onstage in a pool of light. I was the only one in the class who had NO criticism. Oh, he loved it. Everything about it was wonderful. Was told I was very talented. A wonderful writer. That I write the sort of thing he loves. “You should be very proud of yourself.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I just sat in silence in the pool of light. It was possibly, the most depressing moment of my life. There was the requisite applause from the other students. I quietly said "thank you". And left the stage. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But inside my head was screaming, “IF I’M SO FUCKING WONDERFUL THEN WHY AM I NOT WORKING?!?!?!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I told this to a friend of mine the next day. “Why didn’t you ask?” he said.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">“I don’t know. It didn’t seem like the right place to ask.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But the truth is---most playwright are NOT working. Well, we’re working---just not making a living at it. It was at that point that I stopped killing myself. Began to focus more on life. Yes, I still wrote. God, yes. It’s what I do. But life was important, too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So I lived. And wrote. And lived some more.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But in the back of my mind, I kept wondering, “What am I doing wrong?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">More importantly, what were playwrights doing wrong? Plays are the essence of the human experience. The most vital vessel of understanding. Why are WE waiting tables and The Kardashians taking over the world?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, if you’ve only been writing for three or four years, the reason you’re not working is because you’re not ready yet. Writing, like any profession, takes a good ten years to master.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But, like many of my friends, I’m not a newbie. I WANT to know what you did and did NOT like about my play. Because if I’ve put it in front of you, that means that I’m at the point where I’ve done all I can without advice. I’m too close to it. And your distance (and expertise) might help make it better. I REALLY want to know. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Perhaps I’m different. Perhaps most writers would prefer a simple pat on the back, good job, let’s get a drink. Not for me to judge.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But if we get a drink, and I ask you what you thought----that means two things. The first is that I honestly want to know. And the second is that I value your opinion enough to trust your judgment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I can handle it. I’m not a hothouse flower. It will only benefit me AND my play. So TELL me! If you don’t like my play---for godsakes, TELL ME! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Here’s how you do it:</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<ol><li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Okay, go ahead and tell me what you liked about my play. It will make you feel good. I’ll know the bad is coming----but I’ll also know what actually worked. Sometimes, that's just as important.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Tell me what you didn’t like. You don’t have to get in depth at this point. Just point out one or two things that didn’t work. Sure, you can back-track with the whole, “Maybe I missed this, but….” Just get it off your chest. It will only make us that much closer. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ask me a few questions. If you have questions, that helps me figure out where the problems are. Maybe I can answer them and we’ll both be satisfied. Maybe I can’t. If I can’t----then I know what I need to work on.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Talk about the things OUTSIDE of the writing that worked or did not work for you. Again, a feel-good moment for you as you don’t have to critique me, per se. If you didn’t get an actor’s portrayal of the character, the lighting was too moody; the direction seemed “off”. Tell me what you liked and didn’t like and WHY. Sometimes it’s in the script and I need to fix that. Other times, we’ve let our theatre team go astray. It’s flattering to have a theatre pick up your play, but sometimes (bewilderingly) even THEY don’t get it. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">End by asking us what WE thought. This could lead to a great discussion. Or it could lead to another glass of wine and talking about great vacation spots. Even writers get sick of talking about their work. Don’t worry that opening a discussion will lead to an all-night unpaid dramaturgy event. We’re your friends for a reason---we like your company.</span></li>
</ol><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, I can’t speak for all playwrights. Some writers like that simple, “Great job. Really nice play.” They will read into your words whatever self-loathing or self-lauding is in their heads. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And those of us who genuinely want criticism don’t wear badges. We’re hard to distinguish from the guys who just want a hug. To make it harder----we want different things from different people. We ALWAYS want Mom to give us a hug and say “I love you”. We don’t always trust the judgment of the dude at our day job. And we react FAR too freakishly to the local critic who rushes out during the curtain call without uttering a word. As a side note, I used to do some freelance theatre criticism. If I ran out after a performance, it was because I was on a deadline. Had NOTHING to do with the value of your play.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But if you’re a friend. And we ASK you what you thought. What you REALLY thought. Remember that THOSE are the magic words, “What do you REALLY think?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We REALLY want to know. We’re desperate. Think of us as a sad single woman who just broke up with her boyfriend. The sort who calls you late at night and wants to keep you on the phone for hours discussing what HE said and what that REALLY meant. Only difference is, we’re not sobbing on our beds with a cucumber facial, a pint of Hagen-Daas and a bottle of vodka keeping you trained to the phone for hours. We are right in front of you. Unlike break-up girl, we’ll happily buy you a beer and some mozzarella stix and listen as long as you want to talk. We’re trying to grow as a writer. We think you can help. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have asked.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Some say theatre should be a safe environment. What they mean by that is Safe To Take Risks. Not all hugs and kisses. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Playwrights risk their sanity everyday. All of us are mentally one play away from the crazy, smelly homeless man on the train screaming, “Chicken butt! Chicken butt!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You can turn up your iPOD and ignore us, tell us we’re perfectly fine and explain “that's just the way God made you”, or you can lead us to the nearest mental healthcare facility where we can FINALLY get some help. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It’s your choice. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">“So, what did you REALLY think of my play?” </span>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-3136734586198506502011-02-17T21:43:00.000-08:002011-02-18T01:53:27.039-08:00A Modest Proposal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDt7knWYwsgMqCryNsBQLO18syBxls0kaLp-PW7cXt5wNLd-w3H5EEaO5WvS6MyPJIesw3cY6yAcuwohNly9Gio53cnlPw-YvyPMu1dUC_UpoPZ51E3zBr9BFHLjPRFDhZjJsR5J-meGs/s1600/Walden-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDt7knWYwsgMqCryNsBQLO18syBxls0kaLp-PW7cXt5wNLd-w3H5EEaO5WvS6MyPJIesw3cY6yAcuwohNly9Gio53cnlPw-YvyPMu1dUC_UpoPZ51E3zBr9BFHLjPRFDhZjJsR5J-meGs/s320/Walden-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Books can be quite personal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In college, I was discussing my favorite book with a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He expressed interest in reading it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I loaned it to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not long after, I discovered his interest in my reading habits extended to an interest in me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while that was very kind---I just didn’t feel the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes that’s just how it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And nothing can be done about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So naturally, he hated me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And not just that uncomfortable feeling that sometimes occurs when affections aren’t returned----he HATED me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nasty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was stunned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d done nothing except apologize and try to be friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he turned into Crazy Man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This reassured me that my gut had been right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve never understood how some people move so quickly from love to hate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And never will.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Needless to say, the book was never returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And after being screamed at in a club after I’d merely said “hello”---I decided it was best to let the friendship (and the book) go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To this day, I’ve yet to find another copy.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Which is why when I was assembling the books on my new bookshelves recently, I felt a horrible pang of guilt that’s haunted me for years when I found…….</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">Walden</span></i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By Henry David Thoreau.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You see----this is not my book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It belongs to my high school friend, Kat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She loaned it to me when I was fifteen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We became friends because of our mutual love of literature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both of us had read heaps of the classics before we even got to high school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each year, for English class, we would receive a list of “required reading”---Kat and I had already read about 90 percent of the books on the list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this did not mean we slacked off in the English department----we just kept reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While our classmates were encountering <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Romeo and Juliet</i>----we were already up to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">King Lear</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While they discussed The Bronte Sisters----we explored Virginia Woolf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while they were reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Beowulf</i>----well, I TRIED to read it for a second time…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I just really hate <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Beowulf</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me started on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Beowulf.</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">At fifteen, I decided to start reading philosophy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I heard philosophy had answers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was particularly fond of insightful and happy little quotes that could make me smile when I was having a bad day.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So I picked up some Nietzsche.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not the best choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the cheeriest guy on the block. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used to enjoy using my free periods to read in the school chapel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Antichrist</i> in a chapel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The misogyny was stunning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just in Nietzsche, but all those guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Philosopher after philosopher seemed to hate (read<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> fear</i>) women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aristotle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plato.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Schopenhauer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hume.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should be obedient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were worthless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hateful little creatures without a thought in our heads except to be enemies with other women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Kant perhaps summed it up best:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Women are capable of education, but they are not made for activities which demand a universal faculty such as the more advanced sciences, philosophy and certain forms of artistic production... Women regulate their actions not by the demands universality, but by arbitrary inclinations and opinions.”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, I understood the “context of the times”---but how is it that for thousands of years, none of them saw our potential?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were Western Civilization’s “Great Minds”???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was heartbroken and disgusted.<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Kat suggested I might enjoy Thoreau.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So she loaned me her copy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And I did enjoy Thoreau.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was a genuinely thoughtful and intelligent man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ran a stop on the Underground Railroad to help free the slaves, was an early proponent of women’s rights, met with leaders from the Native American community to help re-gain their land and freedom, and was possibly THE first environmentalist in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I loved the book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved Thoreau.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From there, it all gets a little hazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don’t know exactly why one doesn’t return a borrowed book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not as if I had any intention of keeping it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Walden was in no danger of going out-of-print.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could easily have purchased my own copy at the local mall’s B. Dalton bookstore for a few dollars.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And it’s not like I didn’t see her five days a week at school for several years after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not like I had some massive Victorian library in my home and the book simply got misplaced under piles of lithographs and first editions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not as if she’d loaned me a set of encyclopedias and I didn’t have a car (or a driver’s license) to bring them back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Why don’t we return books?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s really not that all that hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Perhaps, it’s like love---exciting to receive; more difficult to return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Upon my bookshelves, I count a few (less than ten, mind you) books I’ve never returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three are from libraries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My account was charged for these books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I paid for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are now mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I still feel a twinge of guilt thinking that some poor fellow in South St. Louis County will go a-hunting one day and discover that Frances Partridge’s memoirs on her days in the Bloomsbury Group will be mysteriously absent from the shelves.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Kat and I have been in-and-out of touch over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She moved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I moved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She changed phone numbers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I changed phone numbers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She moved overseas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I moved to <state w:st="on"><place w:st="on">New York</place></state>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About two years ago, we reconnected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We even met up for drinks in <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">St. Louis</place></city>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grand time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Picked up right where we left off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pulled out a reference to Iris Murdoch and we both agreed that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Sea, The Sea</i> is a novel an author has to earn the right to write.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So why do I still have her copy of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Walden</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s clearly hers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She even wrote her name on the book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">What is wrong with me?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">That afternoon, I wrapped the book up, took it to the post office, and mailed it to her with a note inside.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">“I believe I borrowed this from you maybe sophomore year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry it’s taken me so long to return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes----I read the book.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">A few days later, I got an email from Kat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>She said it was “…a much-needed day-brightener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">Not only to enjoy your honorable tendency to return a borrowed book, but also to see my juvenile underlinings and those of the book's previous, unknown owner. Thanks so much -- it was absolutely a wonderful gift from the universe in a gloomy time!”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">YAY!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a lovely note.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends who write beautifully are awesome!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I not only relieved years of guilt, I also managed to brighten someone’s day AND get a book back to its rightful owner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hooray!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">THIS should be a holiday!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think it would be the best holiday ever!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just about books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could be about anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Returning Things <place w:st="on">Holiday</place>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You would just go about visiting people and returning things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Visiting your neighbors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Returning an hedge trimmer and perhaps having a bit of something to snack together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going to see an old friend to have a drinky-poo, catching up on who’s who and what’s what, and finally getting back that punch bowl you loaned them for their daughter’s graduation five years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you don’t have to buy ANYTHING!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No crass commercialization whatsoever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You just return something that belongs to someone else, have a nice visit, and make them so happy to have their thing back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a wonderful holiday!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Who doesn’t have something they would like returned?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And who doesn’t have something lying around their house taking up space that they feel horrible about not having returned every time they see it?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It’s a win-win.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You could also mail things back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No Hallmark card needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You simply pop the thing in the mail with a hastily-written note, “This is yours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry it took so long to return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s get together soon!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, Hallmark would design a line of cards----but screw them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t need no stinking cards!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There are possibly people out there who are upset with you for things you haven’t returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there are likely people you’ve avoided because you have something you haven’t returned to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But unlike the young man in love who absconded with my favorite book, we don’t have to let this denial of property intrude upon our relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love is not an object.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t always return affections----but we can all return things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Perhaps, what we need is a day to celebrate friendship, sharing---and the return of things we’ve shared with friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They loaned their special thing to you because they cared.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think it would be a lovely holiday!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Let the petitions begin.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Return something to a friend today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll make them happy and you’ll feel good, too.</span></span></div>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-92043486989692954722010-05-13T01:43:00.000-07:002011-10-24T20:09:09.237-07:00Nice Bugs and Nonsense<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6TyLXWasJYyPBapkjfN-G_rFAuwcfuzBYIec1MAzH5TErlAxKYK3iexk4SUGopnKWkU-edUd2Skb0BhDnLIspP7aXaBlTqeDlVUKN9LunnmQvMatG1Swga8dy-xba_UzzNcumryM1UKo/s1600/Roly+Poly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6TyLXWasJYyPBapkjfN-G_rFAuwcfuzBYIec1MAzH5TErlAxKYK3iexk4SUGopnKWkU-edUd2Skb0BhDnLIspP7aXaBlTqeDlVUKN9LunnmQvMatG1Swga8dy-xba_UzzNcumryM1UKo/s320/Roly+Poly.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Yesterday was Limerick Day!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A day to honor the 198th birthday of English author and artist, Edward Lear; known primarily for his “literary nonsense” and for popularizing the limerick.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So…in honor of Lear and his nonsense, I wrote a limerick to mark the occasion of finding a bug upon my floor.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>There once was a bug in my kitchen,</em><br />
<em>A nice bug, but had no permission;</em></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Rather than kill,</span></em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I held very still,</span></em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My finger became his eviction.</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">If you were expecting something dirty...</span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Good Lord---it's a bug!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Geez.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not ALL limericks are dirty---though literary anthropologists digging up the earliest limericks seem to concur that they do indeed have a smutty origin. You can probably lay the blame on that infamous man from Nantucket!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Actually, I found the bug a few days ago. A roly-poly---those little armadillo-looking bugs that curl up into a ball as their means of defense.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWD2pY8knuKwK9BOeC7-1dtNckWoqfvr2pWxnYmVIqWPILj8rV4liy5Y6gZv5GqbdnBklLb058YeSfmOKOr59oXjJTBFHzuXxsBA4n4QirbOcgqitI7lTbrzys-Ml5A01udfJf1lDKlVU/s1600/Roly+Poly+Defensive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWD2pY8knuKwK9BOeC7-1dtNckWoqfvr2pWxnYmVIqWPILj8rV4liy5Y6gZv5GqbdnBklLb058YeSfmOKOr59oXjJTBFHzuXxsBA4n4QirbOcgqitI7lTbrzys-Ml5A01udfJf1lDKlVU/s320/Roly+Poly+Defensive.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I was little, I was informed that roly-polys belonged to the species of bugs known simply as “Nice Bugs”.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Bees would sting you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Spiders were scary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Roaches were nasty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Flies were a nuisance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And mosquitoes would suck your blood and make you all itchy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ewww.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But roly-polys were our friends. They were kind and innocent bugs that weren’t scary and you could hold in your hand. Also in this scientific category were butterflies, ladybugs, worms and my personal favorite---lightening bugs! We never tired of catching them in our hands in the summer and watching them glow inside our palms.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Despite knowing all of this, when I was very, very young, I picked up a roly-poly in my grandma’s sprawling backyard. I examined him for a few moments, and then, for some unknown reason (perhaps simple curiosity) I dropped him into a nearby spider web. Within a split second, a GIGANTIC pointy black spider LEAPT out of nowhere and pounced upon the prey. I was terrified of the black widow-looking spider---too terrified to save my roly-poly. And watched in horror as the spider injected its venom and began to suck the life out of the sweet little bug I had held in my tiny hands just a moment before.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I burst into tears.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I hid under a tree in my grandmother’s rock garden, inconsolable, for hours. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To this day, I think it is possibly the worst thing I have ever done. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not vicious, but wanton. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Like a child with a gun.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I first began to seriously write, one of the first things I wrote was a short story loosely-based on this traumatic moment.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To begin the short story, I quoted from a poem by D.H. Lawrence---“The Snake”:</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"And so, I missed my chance with one of the lords</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of life.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And I have something to expiate:</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A pettiness."</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To make up for this horrible sin, I have always protected the roly-poly.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Oh you may laugh, but I will go WAY out of my way to catch and release a roly-poly. And other “Nice Bugs” as well---but the roly-poly has always been my particular cause. Like Elton John with AIDS. George Clooney with Darfour. Or Paris Hilton with herself.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I picked up this particular roly-poly, I was astonished to discover that he did not curl up into a ball.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqA3gCYc4d6EZ9sLWnrgYwiIwvLdsZDOXqgcRJol9idQK6ZyIKOY04mo6S1ua5B_leRr0Cg92VW-8rM72gULZCADFT7YoygzGFsb5pVcU6CIVfpJrooIMzRbFn0gyiBOavql2QFBIaAAQ/s1600/Roly-Poly+on+Hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqA3gCYc4d6EZ9sLWnrgYwiIwvLdsZDOXqgcRJol9idQK6ZyIKOY04mo6S1ua5B_leRr0Cg92VW-8rM72gULZCADFT7YoygzGFsb5pVcU6CIVfpJrooIMzRbFn0gyiBOavql2QFBIaAAQ/s320/Roly-Poly+on+Hand.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He seemingly had no defense. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So, amongst all the other things-to-do in my life, I immediately went to Wikipedia in search of an answer.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Apparently, these “Nice Bugs” belong to a subspecies known as the “common woodlouse”.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">While louse may sound very much like lice---a genus I would NOT refer to as “Nice Bugs”---they’re actually pretty helpful little critters. They help with decomposition, which is why they’re often found under old logs or dead trees. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Unfortunately, there were no dead trees in my kitchen, so I have no idea what this little guy was looking for.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And unlike other roly-polys---these particular “woodlouses” (for semantics, I’ll avoid the standard plural of “lice”) have no ability to either “roll” or “pol”. In fact, their only defense seems to be to remain perfectly still and perhaps you won’t even know that they’re there…</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Oh my god.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">NEVER have I had so much in common with a bug.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">If I were a bug---that would be me. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It was late at night, and I had no desire to change out of my pajamas and go to the park across the street with a flashlight looking for a safe, new home for the little guy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So, I did what any common sense person would do---I grabbed a pinch of soil from one of my houseplants and put the soil (and him) in a salt shaker.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8F8Cx4-m8b2fWTM6TcvKPdbJcpEV0FWG9CYdmsIEQKJZ1y8kg8m4xqNJ2LV4ggPFzfOGuI3fMpVWMBgB4IzbaROhl5tYfbzhE6un-UIURHtM29_9Tmu7SHopVAOwTEtLO4z0zJhU_6gE/s1600/Roly-Poly+and+Jars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8F8Cx4-m8b2fWTM6TcvKPdbJcpEV0FWG9CYdmsIEQKJZ1y8kg8m4xqNJ2LV4ggPFzfOGuI3fMpVWMBgB4IzbaROhl5tYfbzhE6un-UIURHtM29_9Tmu7SHopVAOwTEtLO4z0zJhU_6gE/s320/Roly-Poly+and+Jars.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The holes would give him air, and the moist soil would give him food and water till I could get him to a safe haven.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwwpiTy_VIbGJcWT0g-GAIgiH0BzsDRv1XjccIQhyphenhyphenvPbliJL_BBwxhwzsnRtXN1WcJv6R-IVLvec0xIoutU_8ElgKBX47eMoUgDP2qBGXQrYmTYw7cEli8gtv3Saen1zx0fPdXd34QJY/s1600/Roly-Poly+in+Jar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwwpiTy_VIbGJcWT0g-GAIgiH0BzsDRv1XjccIQhyphenhyphenvPbliJL_BBwxhwzsnRtXN1WcJv6R-IVLvec0xIoutU_8ElgKBX47eMoUgDP2qBGXQrYmTYw7cEli8gtv3Saen1zx0fPdXd34QJY/s320/Roly-Poly+in+Jar.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But everyday, I either forget him before I leave the house, or something comes up where I don’t have time for that “Born Free” moment.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So instead, I’ve become his caregiver. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Everyday, I replace the soil with new (though old and mulchy) soil. And I take him out to play. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I really HAVE to. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">How much exercise can you get in a salt shaker?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He likes to come out and immediately starts walking around my kitchen table.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">At first, he was wary of my hand, but now he seems to recognize my smell.</span><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu42adQ0os1PLe4V-dacEGjeF3WZ6DYACe2_u2gWoSfBQRETj7wJDhnK0RqXDl1rhDZu29e_ysc21GuQInc8SyaeSaB5TZ8x8lcOXJZnGgnSW_q5LApeT4RPySGLSZpgsijVNy48yvGY/s1600/Roly-Poly+on+Hand-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu42adQ0os1PLe4V-dacEGjeF3WZ6DYACe2_u2gWoSfBQRETj7wJDhnK0RqXDl1rhDZu29e_ysc21GuQInc8SyaeSaB5TZ8x8lcOXJZnGgnSW_q5LApeT4RPySGLSZpgsijVNy48yvGY/s320/Roly-Poly+on+Hand-2.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We play everyday. I’ve learned so much about him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYU8_CtY5lny-4qupwwgmhjShekO2c5pEr9zTCD7xEVAL79hN0XeRPMBQ8zQ_UwidVk63CNjgZCjf_USHYTtXr5_nXyRAzUKG4pfnlEbmEKAND6s8EcSIVn-LI__554ia3q6MJqIoZZEY/s1600/Roly-Poly+on+Pinky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYU8_CtY5lny-4qupwwgmhjShekO2c5pEr9zTCD7xEVAL79hN0XeRPMBQ8zQ_UwidVk63CNjgZCjf_USHYTtXr5_nXyRAzUKG4pfnlEbmEKAND6s8EcSIVn-LI__554ia3q6MJqIoZZEY/s320/Roly-Poly+on+Pinky.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And he’s QUITE photogenic!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLUiBLLkt2j3Vz6g_TfB9iudNewkjKqoz7n8hebdJwkbVhCG0TMbDiHWR3sx93KOVkLqDwu0HfMNuRN3LBCZ09lFd9aX-XJSvOW8Q-GH6M23olrxYC6kCau7IcCsHmulo65i9gRjI8RHM/s1600/Roly-Poly+Close-Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLUiBLLkt2j3Vz6g_TfB9iudNewkjKqoz7n8hebdJwkbVhCG0TMbDiHWR3sx93KOVkLqDwu0HfMNuRN3LBCZ09lFd9aX-XJSvOW8Q-GH6M23olrxYC6kCau7IcCsHmulo65i9gRjI8RHM/s320/Roly-Poly+Close-Up.jpg" wt="true" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, I know the time will come when I have to let him go and be with other roly-poly friends. Maybe make some baby woodlouses of his own.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Maybe that’s why I’ve resisted giving him a name. I don’t want to get too attached.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But for now, we’re quite happy together. And he’s inspired me to write a blog and even a silly little poem.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Poem-worthy? A common woodlouse?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Absolutely.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">That’s the wonder of both life and art. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finding joy in the minutiae. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And transforming it into something that shows us all why we should never drop the nice bugs into a spider’s web.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-32049335533091517632010-02-17T06:02:00.000-08:002011-10-24T20:08:57.473-07:00The Only Thing We Have To Fear...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWZo8utPqY9vP6_56W-avvzBfjgdXFSrnxV8_zN7OL5BNCKvSLIo87DMuEd7ZM2XSKLWuPU7B0U_kcAmgdEBSwZyLViwYDOoWYuEDxYUCvJohZGQkEDxnIzIhUEFZP4uki6ZQvgSIa5jc/s1600-h/John_Wayne_Gacy_Pogo_the_clown.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 254px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWZo8utPqY9vP6_56W-avvzBfjgdXFSrnxV8_zN7OL5BNCKvSLIo87DMuEd7ZM2XSKLWuPU7B0U_kcAmgdEBSwZyLViwYDOoWYuEDxYUCvJohZGQkEDxnIzIhUEFZP4uki6ZQvgSIa5jc/s400/John_Wayne_Gacy_Pogo_the_clown.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439214846903843042" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City" downloadurl="http://www.5iamas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place" downloadurl="http://www.5iantlavalamp.com/"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I have a fear of clowns.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Over the years, this fear has extended to pretty much any masked character.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Halloween is difficult.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;" >
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I don’t know where the whole clown thing started.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">As a child, I remember being terrified of my Jack-in-the-Box.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">To this day, just hearing “Pop Goes the Weasel” makes me a little queasy.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">When I was living in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>, one of my best friends worked for Mystery Science Theatre, based in the Twin Cities.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">One night, she and her sister invited me to an MST Party.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The party was hosted by Joel Hodgson at a bowling alley.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I was promised beer, bowling, and lots of cute guys in flannel shirts.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">As my friend parked the car, she and her sister gave each other that Sisterly Look, and then turned their heads towards me in the backseat.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">“Okay,” her sister Kathleen said with dead seriousness.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“I think you should know that there is going to be a clown there.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">“What???”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“I’m sorry.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But we knew you wouldn’t come if we told you before…”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“It’s was Joel’s idea,” her sister Ellie explained.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“He thought it would be funny.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“Clowns are not funny,” I tried to explain.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“Clowns are scary.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“Well…just…you know…” Kathleen stammered.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“You might want to avoid the clown.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">This seemed like my best bet.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">After all, I was now stranded at a bowling alley in Chaska with no way back home. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">And then it got worse.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“Joel told his friend to dress like a clown, get really drunk, and accost women.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">His name is Fondles.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Fondles the Clown.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Just stay away from Fondles.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As I crept carefully into the wood-paneled bar of the bowling alley, my eyes immediately spotted Fondles.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">He was the creepiest clown I’d ever seen.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Luckily, by the time we got there, he had already downed about six Leinie Bock longnecks and was currently slumped over the cigarette machine, making sexually inappropriate comments to women as they walked by.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">A few minutes later, he lost his grip on the cigarette machine and slid down the side to the floor.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">One of the writers propped him back up---just in time to grab some woman’s ass.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And then, he fell again.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">He drunkenly pulled himself back up onto the cigarette machine and ordered another beer.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A few sips later, he tumbled to the sawdust floor.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Kathleen (who had also grown up Catholic) turned to me and said, “Fondles Falls For the Third Time.”</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I immediately cracked up.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Stations of the Cross references always slay me.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Two years later, I attempted to get over my fear of clowns by writing and shooting a short film on the subject---a comedy that also tackled my completely irrational fear of John Davidson.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">It was titled “Fear, Loathing, and John Davidson.”</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">For one particular scene, I needed a real clown who could make animal balloons.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">One of the photographers at my day job suggested the perfect clown.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“She’s nice.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You’ll like her.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">She does children’s parties.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I did some headshots for her and she’s not scary at all.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Steve, the photographer, slipped me her number and I gave her a call.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Right away, I explained my fear.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">It should be noted that this was the SECOND time I’d explained my fear of clowns…to a clown.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But she was the first clown that understood.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“They warned us about this in clown school.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">That some children---even adults---will be afraid of you.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And the instructor told us, ‘Don’t think that YOU’RE going to be the clown who gets them over the fear of clowns.’”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">She understood me!</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The clown understood me!!!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">My only request was that she not show up for the shoot in costume.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">“I think,” I explained over the phone, “that if I meet you and talk to you before you put on the make-up, I’ll be okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m sure she thought I was completely batshit.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But she agreed to the stipulation.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The night before the shoot, she left a message on my machine.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">“I’m SO sorry!</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But I booked a children’s party for tomorrow afternoon and I’ll be going straight from your shoot to the party so I have to show up with my make-up and costume.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I know it’s going to be hard for you, but really…I promise, I’m not scary.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You won’t be scared.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And we can talk tomorrow morning over the phone, if it makes you feel better…”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">You know---you hear those stories about what Scorsese went thru in the desert shooting </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >The Last Temptation of Christ</span><span style="font-size:100%;">… </span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Or Herzog pulling a ship over an Amazon mountain in </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Fitzcarraldo</span><span style="font-size:100%;">…</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Or Francis Ford Coppola wrangling natives, the Vietnam War, and a fat Marlon Brando for</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" > Apocalypse Now</span><span style="font-size:100%;">…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">But NOTHING can compare with what I went thru that morning as I prepared to meet Sneaky the Clown.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I tried to act normal.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Whatever normal is when you roll out of bed on a Saturday morning and meet A CLOWN!!!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Okay, in case some of you still don’t quite understand, let me explain.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">First off, I will do anything to avoid running into a clown.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I have been known to walk several blocks out of my way to avoid a clown passing out flyers on the corner.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">If I DO have to walk past a clown, I avoid eye contact.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I keep my eyes on the ground, focus on my breathing, and try to move past as quickly as possible.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I live by the hope that if I don’t bother the clown, the clown won’t bother me.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">These few Clown Rules are usually enough to keep Bozo away.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">But if I do encounter a clown, what happens is something along the lines of the “flight-or-fight-or freeze response”.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m like a deer-in-the-headlights.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Then my heart starts pounding like it’s about to burst out of my chest.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I hyperventilate.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Indecipherable sounds resembling a moose-cry emerge from my throat.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My hands shake.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My whole body shakes.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">At best, I chatter in non-sequitors and back-away.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">At worst, I’m in the fetal position with my head between my legs breathing into a paper bag.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Once, I was tapped on the shoulder.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I turned around, and it was a clown.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">What happened after that, I have no idea.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I seem to have blacked it out.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">But clowns are not my only fear.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">In the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, Charlie Brown visits Lucy’s Psychiatrist booth:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0833559/">Lucy Van Pelt</a></b>: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?
<br /><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0730435/">Charlie Brown</a></b>: What's pantophobia?
<br /><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0833559/">Lucy Van Pelt</a></b>: The fear of everything.
<br /><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0730435/">Charlie Brown</a></b>: THAT'S IT! </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Over the past few years, I’ve developed a case of pantophobia.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I wake up afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Yesterday morning, I was afraid of the questionable date on the Half & Half, the pile of tax papers sitting on my desk, the new deodorant I bought, my computer printer, the fancy boots my Mom bought me for Christmas that I haven’t worn for fear they might pinch---but most of all, that unknown thing that could jump out at you at anytime and yell “Boo!”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The Jack-in-the-Box that is Life.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oddly, to get me thru my fears, I’m not afraid to smoke.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s all completely irrational.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My computer printer is not cursed.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">If it doesn’t want to print the designated pages, it’s because the hp company simply wants me to buy a new one every three years.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And yesterday, I said Damn the Torpedoes!---and I wore my boots.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">No, they’re not the best boots to wear while walking across sheets of ice…</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But my gay friends thought I looked like a dominatrix and the older Hindu guy at the drugstore asked me to marry him.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">AND---they didn’t pinch my toes!</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">They were perfectly comfortable boots.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">What’s my point?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Over the course of the past 24 hours, I’ve begun to examine some of my fears.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And today, I conquered one. The wearing of the boots.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Well, actually---two.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I took a chance on the Half & Half.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It smelled okay, so I went for it.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">A friend of mine once suggested that I had a fear of success.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">THAT is completely untrue.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">What I have, is a fear of everything.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Pantophobia is a real word.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">According to Wikipedia:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>Panphobia</b>, from the Greek 'pan' and 'phobos', also called <b>omniphobia</b>, <b>Pantophobia</b> or <b>Panophobia</b>, is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_condition" title="Medical condition">medical condition</a> known as a "non-specific fear" or "the fear of everything" and is described as "a vague and persistent <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dread" title="Dread">dread</a> of some unknown evil".</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">In my family, we simply call this “Being Eastern-European”.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I remember reading John Lukacs </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Budapest</span><span style="font-size:100%;">, where he describes it so tersely:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><i>"Temetni tudunk</i> - a terse Magyar phrase whose translation requires as many as ten English words to give it proper (and even then, not wholly exact) sense: 'How to bury people - that is one thing we know.’"</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Trust me, the Polish version is even worse.
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s a vague sense of dread that is not related to depression in any way.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s an acknowledgement of the sadness in life.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A respect.</span><span style=";font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Like the respect that must be given a wild animal.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Life is wild.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Today, I put on my boots, and set off into the wild brush. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-17292652816364715452009-11-04T23:27:00.000-08:002011-10-24T20:08:43.367-07:00Crackheads, Confidence and Cat Hair<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkXcOtYfhUPGXNbz2WqPDSJPFzCcJ6MzfOswTYAjBloxJ8rjCsNuw5hZtOc5HgjD_ACPFj12N8mW8XoRM_ZWhe0kA3DKvJ3UdR9FNGcE5rcRTx0eMsoJVOd3AqvgzFI44bC5H4yDomR0o/s1600-h/Bessie+Skunk+Blog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkXcOtYfhUPGXNbz2WqPDSJPFzCcJ6MzfOswTYAjBloxJ8rjCsNuw5hZtOc5HgjD_ACPFj12N8mW8XoRM_ZWhe0kA3DKvJ3UdR9FNGcE5rcRTx0eMsoJVOd3AqvgzFI44bC5H4yDomR0o/s400/Bessie+Skunk+Blog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400574345445563538" border="0" /></a><span style="text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="Street"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="address"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Let me begin this by saying that I’m not a Crazy Cat Lady.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >I have one cat.<span style=""> </span>One.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >And the only Crazy Cat Lady-type thing I do is that, once a year, on Halloween, I dress my cat up in a costume and I take a picture of her looking really pissed off.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">It’s my annual revenge for a year of hairballs, meowing in the middle of the night, and the piles of cat hair that appear mysteriously on all of my clothes.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">This year, she was a skunk.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I laughed.<span style=""> </span>Bessie didn’t.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Tonight, the Yankees won the World Series.<span style=""> </span>I went out to the theatre.<span style=""> </span>Not that I don’t like baseball, I just have a hard time with rabid sports fans.<span style=""> </span>Particularly on a World Series night.<span style=""> </span>They’re like twelve year-old girls who just discovered boys---they talk of NOTHING ELSE.<span style=""> </span>And they’re drunk.<span style=""> </span>Drunk, screaming, twelve year-old girls one Jagermeister away from throwing up.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I decided to pass on the sports bar invites.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">The event I attended this evening was a show in <st1:place st="on">Brooklyn</st1:place> at a hip art space in DUMBO called Galapagos.<span style=""> </span>Coming straight from work, I didn’t have time to get all dolled up for a hip art space theatre event.<span style=""> </span>But it’s not like I was walking the red carpet.<span style=""> </span>Just a fun evening of theatre written by one of the fellows from my weekly writer’s group.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p></o:p>
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I thought I looked nice.<span style=""> </span>Not glamorous.<span style=""> </span>But not too shabby, either.<span style=""> </span>Sure, a bit of cat hair on my jacket, but it was a dark theatre.<span style=""> </span>Who would notice?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I hopped on the A Train with directions in my pocket and confidence in my soul.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">At the next stop, a scary old black man (yes, that’s the Politically Correct term for this guy) got on the train and sat down next to me.<span style=""> </span>For some reason, crazies and crackheads always seem to find an open seat near me.<span style=""> </span>This guy was both.<span style=""> </span>Even before the train pulled out of Penn Station, he began talking to himself in a constant stream of angry non sequiturs that involved the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">U.S.</st1:place></st1:country-region> education system, a roast beef sandwich and eighteen hundred dollars.<span style=""> </span>He concluded his ranting every so often by yelling out, “Fuck the White Man!<span style=""> </span>AND his women!”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">None of this seemed to be directed at anyone on the train in particular.<span style=""> </span>Though he did occasionally refer to the group sitting across from me of four lovely, middle-aged African-American women on a shopping spree as “my niggas”.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The ladies did not look pleased.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">All in all, he just yammered away discussing how the roast beef sandwich didn’t have “no nothin’---just roast beef” and bragged about this mythical eighteen hundred dollars he was carrying around…when suddenly, I felt his head turn in my direction.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">And then, somewhere around <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Canal St.</st1:address></st1:street>, I heard a cackle.<span style=""> </span>A cackle which turned into a guffaw, which was followed by a spit-take so violent that, had he decided to use that eighteen hundred dollars to purchase a pair of much-needed false teeth---those pearly whites would have shot across the train as he yelled out:</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">“DAMN, white girl!<span style=""> </span>How many cats do you have?!?!”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">All eyes on the train shifted to me.<span style=""> </span>The white girl covered in cat hair.<span style=""> </span>Information pointed out, quite loudly---by a crackhead.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">How the Crackhead Killed My Confidence.<span style=""> </span>A chapter in my new book.<span style=""> </span>A playful turn on Rudyard Kipling:<span style=""> </span>“The Just So-So Stories”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Yes, I have thousands of these confidence-killing stories.<span style=""> </span>Like the time I was about to break-up with my boyfriend and felt lousy and was at my waitress job on New Year’s Eve.<span style=""> </span>The Broadway theatre next-door was doing a show.<span style=""> </span>I stepped out the side door to have a cigarette, take a mental break from work and try to internally put myself back together again for a lonely New Year’s Eve when suddenly, a middle-aged couple standing in line for the theatre next-door slowed down to check me out .<span style=""> </span>The wife, after careful inspection of my person, leaned into her husband and said audibly, “No.<span style=""> </span>She’s nobody.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I requested to go home early that night.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Or the time I was eleven and was in my second year of piano studies at The St. Louis Conservatory.<span style=""> </span>I was performing in the mandatory monthly recital.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Bach’s Invention # 8 in F Major.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">My first time performing Bach in public.<span style=""> </span>I was nervous, but I knew the piece.<span style=""> </span>I sat down at the piano, started strong, then fumbled about twenty measures in.<span style=""> </span>According to protocol, if one couldn’t recover, one was supposed to take their hands off the keys and start again. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I did this.<span style=""> </span>I fumbled again.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I took my hands off the keys and forced myself to take a really deep breath.<span style=""> </span>I closed my eyes.<span style=""> </span>Thought about the piece.<span style=""> </span>Knew I could get thru it.<span style=""> </span>Took another breath, and then put my hands to the keys with confidence.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Just as I started to play, someone’s father in the front row “whispered” to his spouse, “She’ll never make it.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I heard it.<span style=""> </span>And I didn’t.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Only after the Conservatory Director (who’d also likely heard the remark) paused my performance and gave a little speech about how newcomers to Bach often get nervous and this causes them to increase the speed of the tempo to the point where the performer can’t keep up with their own hands…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Yes, I did get thru the piece on the next try.<span style=""> </span>But let’s just say that it took me at least a year before I was willing to give Bach another whirl. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I suppose I could have come back with a snappy comeback on the train tonight.<span style=""> </span>Something like, “Yeah---I might have some cat hair going on here.<span style=""> </span>But at least I’m not a crackhead!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">And then, while I was being stabbed, people on the train would forget all about my cat hair.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Or maybe not.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Headlines in The Post the next day would read, “Crackhead Stabs Lippy Cat Lady”.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">The New York Post would hack into my Facebook page.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Bessie in her skunk costume on the cover of The Post.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Nothing I had ever written would be acknowledged in my obituary.<span style=""> </span>My Mom (keeper of my meager archives) would laminate the “Lippy Cat Lady” front page article and spend the next fifteen years going from South County Mall to South County Mall searching for the perfect frame at Frames Or Us---never realizing that it’s a chain and they all have THE SAME FUCKING FRAMES!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But I digress.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Confidence Killers, like serial killers, can be anywhere and anyone.<span style=""> </span>They can be a crackhead on the train or somebody’s dad.<span style=""> </span>And, like serial killers, they seem to have no conscience about their actions.<span style=""> </span>The middle-aged woman who looked at me standing outside the restaurant door with my tea and cigarette certainly must have realized that I heard her say that I was “nobody”.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">She just didn’t care. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">As I went thru my mail today, I opened another rejection letter.<span style=""> </span>Well, not exactly a rejection.<span style=""> </span>More like an “only accepting queries thru a WGA signatory agent or lawyer at this time” letter from a certain unnamed production company.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A few years ago, I would have seen this letter as a Confidence Killer.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But today, after having survived SO many Confidence Killers (including an imaginary stabbing on the A Train)---I see it for what it is…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A call to work harder.<span style=""> </span>To keep working and not give up.<span style=""> </span>To brush off that cat hair, laugh at the silly crackhead---You so silly!<span style=""> </span>And move forward. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">They say that what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Okay, that’s a lot of bullshit.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It may not kill you, but you’re going to be laid up in a crappy hospital with basic cable for about a week and then they’ll shuttle you out as fast as they can do the paperwork because your insurance is lousy and then you’ll pick up your own prescriptions and stumble home to your meowing cat, a hairball and a mailbox full of bills and Netflix picks…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">But you survive.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Weaker.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But alive.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I believe the saying should be more like, “What doesn’t kill you…<span style=""> </span>Well…hey!---it don’t kill ya…”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">That’s pretty much it. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And if you were hoping for some words of wisdom from a writer who has been clearly identified by a Broadway TKTS ticketholder as “nobody”…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Damn.<span style=""> </span>I’m sorry.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">My bad.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">All I have for you is this…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">By the time I hit college, I discovered a deep appreciation for Bach.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">My compositorial enemy, had become my closest friend.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I was determined to conquer my fear.<span style=""> </span>I added a minor to my curriculum---harpsichord studies.<span style=""> </span>Unfortunately, the sole harpsichord professor at my university was a bit of a letch, to say the least. <span style=""> </span>I’d been forewarned by a friend of mine who ran the classical division at the University Library.<span style=""> </span>“He was having an affair with one of his young Asian students.<span style=""> </span>Watch out for that guy…”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">A week later, I showed up at his campus office for an audition and interview. Photos of him with his arm around a young Chinese woman papered the place.<span style=""> But </span>I refused to believe the hype and believed only in Bach.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">By the end of the first semester, I’d suffered thru enough uncomfortable comments on my personal life and invites to “after class” sessions from a man who was the spitting image of Burl Ives to practically kill my love for the Baroque quicker than an A Express to Washington Heights.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Over the years, I’ve forgotten about this professor and his Confidence Killer moves---like grabbing my hand and caressing it over the harpsichord keys as he told me I’d never appreciate Couperin until I learned the proper touch…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My point is, nothing anyone has ever said or done to me has killed my love of Bach.
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Tonight, I did something I occasionally do when I feel those Confidence Killers knocking at my door…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I dug into my sheet music cabinet (yes, I actually have a sheet music cabinet) and pulled out Bach’s Invention No. 8.
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Within a few measures, I focus solely on my hands, let the comments of a crackhead go…and I interpret Bach for my sleeping (yet, still shedding) cat.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">She looks up from my pillow and squints.<span style=""> </span>A piece of grey cat hair drifts across the keys. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I simply blow it off.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The piece that slayed me when I was eleven years old---played by a seven year-old...
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDHMrXLKvHI&NR=1">Bach's Invention No. 8</a></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p>
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<br />
<br />hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-67120286380983532012009-09-19T23:30:00.000-07:002009-09-20T01:44:54.018-07:00The Stripper Doesn't Really Like You<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2spY_fD5AFagDbiAyrDacCebdAShbmrcwlNeOgSsQDBu-CFdQFMPqGBr9waPJXvg1aGQqPaKD7Ei3sfVGkdWo3Sncj_lzf_V6kvEeRRNf-iq-j6BBkmMudnYhkibiPcFdsKhEmoe9E-8/s1600-h/James+Bond.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2spY_fD5AFagDbiAyrDacCebdAShbmrcwlNeOgSsQDBu-CFdQFMPqGBr9waPJXvg1aGQqPaKD7Ei3sfVGkdWo3Sncj_lzf_V6kvEeRRNf-iq-j6BBkmMudnYhkibiPcFdsKhEmoe9E-8/s320/James+Bond.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383437271565560642" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >It’s a common misconception that women are the sex living in a dream world.<span style=""> </span>Sure, some women enjoy reading cheesy romance novels (myself not included), and even more enjoy a good romantic comedy (guilty as charged on this one)---but men live in WAY more of a fantasy world than women can even conceive.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >I will say one sentence:</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >All men think they’re James Bond.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Even men know this is true.<span style=""> </span>They will laugh, but they laugh because it’s true.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I once worked for a restaurant manager whose “secret” code on the company computer was “007”. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Yes.<span style=""> </span>I rolled my eyes.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Nice enough fellow, but short, bad skin, no real personality, closeted homosexual---yet, in his fantasy world he was still “Bond.<span style=""> </span>James Bond.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">And pickpockets, take note:<span style=""> </span>the easiest way to steal a bunch of wallets is to go into a men’s locker room and try turning the combination locks to 0-0-7.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">You can thank me later.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Why this sudden fascination with the male fantasy world, you might ask?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Well, the other day, I was hit on by a NYC Street Sweeper.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Again.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Yes, more than one middle-aged man doing court-mandated community service, wearing a red jumpsuit and pushing a garbage can has seen me standing on the sidewalk and felt the urge to put down his broom and say, “Hey, gorgeous.<span style=""> </span>You got beautiful blue eyes.<span style=""> </span>What are you doing?<span style=""> </span>On a coffee break?<span style=""> </span>Damn, you look fine.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Well, let me put down my Starbucks and tell your parole officer not to wait up.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I don’t care how lively your fantasy world is---if you’re wearing a red jumpsuit, you might as well pack away the penis.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Not “Bond.<span style=""> </span>James Bond.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">More like “Out. <span style=""> </span>Out on bond.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">So, I am here to write a one-time-only advice column for men.<span style=""> </span>Amongst my circle alone, I know quite a few men who could use a dose of female reality---and yes, women are WAY more realistic than men.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">The current psychological profile of the sexes declares that men are problem solvers while women like to talk about their problems. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Sure, men may be more problem-solving, in general---but they’re trying to solve the wrong problems.<span style=""> </span>Like how to get the winning bid for a Star Ship Enterprise model on eBay when the real problem is that they don’t have a job.<span style=""> </span>Sure, we’re still discussing our problems with our girlfriends while you’re waiting for the postman to arrive…but at least we’re on the right track. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">It’s The Tortoise and the Hare of the sexes.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Not to claim that women always win the race…<span style=""> </span>But while you’re busy making the <span style="font-style: italic;">Theme From Goldfinger </span>your primary ringtone, we’re washing your tidy whities, picking up the dandruff shampoo you’re too embarrassed to buy, and trying to figure out a tactful way to get you to improve your aim into the toilet.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">So, here are just a few of my observations and opinions on the male fantasy world.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">First off---Are you REALLY a secret foreign agent?<span style=""> </span>No?<span style=""> </span>Okay.<span style=""> </span>Remember that.<span style=""> </span>Let’s move on.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I don’t care how much you felt like you “really connected” with the stripper when she was giving you a lap dance.<span style=""> </span>I don’t care if she laughed at your jokes or listened sympathetically about how your last relationship broke up.<span style=""> </span>You may have recently lost five pounds, gave Rogaine a shot, and felt like you were really “on top of your game” that night---but she just wants your MONEY.<span style=""> </span>If you started shoving love poems instead of dollar bills in her G-String, she would dump you quicker than your ex did.<span style=""> </span>And trust me, the stripper won’t need “closure”. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Are you Brad Pitt?<span style=""> </span>George Clooney?<span style=""> </span>Blair Underwood? <span style=""> </span>The current James Bond, Daniel Craig? Or even remotely close to opening a campaign office to nominate you for People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive?<span style=""> </span>No?<span style=""> </span>Then chances are, a Supermodel is NOT going to fuck you.<span style=""> </span>Remember <span style="font-style: italic;">The Seven Year Itch</span>?<span style=""> </span>At the end of the movie, did he get Marilyn Monroe?<span style=""> </span>I rest my case.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span><span style=""></span><span style="">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Do you even OWN a tux?<span style=""> </span>And no, James Bond does NOT rent one from The Men’s Warehouse.<span style=""> </span>Chances are, at this very moment, the only disguises in your OO7 Wardrobe are the sweaters and big shirts that disguise your ever-expanding waistline.<span style=""> </span>“Too much bread last night” my ass.<span style=""> </span>Thank your lucky stars that women aren’t as shallow as men, enjoy your Reuben, and stop thinking that wearing your old college sweatshirt makes you look like a college-aged student.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Two words.<span style=""> </span>Air guitar.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Porn is not real.<span style=""> </span>The women are paid.<span style=""> </span>Good money.<span style=""> </span>Most of them need the money to fund their drug habit.<span style=""> </span>That’s why they’re not working as a waitress at Dennys.<span style=""> </span>The Grand Slam Breakfast goes for around $5.99.<span style=""> </span>A fifteen percent tip on that is about ninety cents.<span style=""> </span>And with heroin, only the first one’s free.<span style=""> </span>And, while we’re on the subject---There’s a reason you can’t SEE phone sex operators.<span style=""> </span>Stop fantasizing that they look like Catherine Zeta-Jones. They don't. Ever seen an attractive radio personality? Try 1-900-Howard Stern. That's who's waiting for your call.
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span><span style="">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Paintball is not war.<span style=""> </span>It’s more like hide-and-seek.<span style=""> </span>Your paintball victory on Sunday afternoon will never be covered by The History Channel.<span style=""> </span>It’s not The Normandy Invasion.<span style=""> </span>Just a bunch of boneheads with beer.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Your favorite team may have won The Superbowl or The World Series---but you did NOTHING to facilitate this.<span style=""> </span>NOTHING!!!<span style=""> </span>I don’t care how many games you attended or watched or how much you wore the jersey or how loudly you cheered---you deserve NO credit for this.<span style=""> </span>And unless you had a bet down, the outcome will not affect your life in any way.<span style=""> </span>Are you wearing a Superbowl Ring?<span style=""> </span>End of discussion.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Costumes are for Halloween.<span style=""> </span>Period.<span style=""> </span>Look in your closet.<span style=""> </span>How many costumes do you own?<span style=""> </span>None?<span style=""> </span>Really?<span style=""> </span>Are you sure?<span style=""> </span>Are you a cowboy?<span style=""> </span>Then why do you own cowboy boots? <span style=""> </span>Do you even know how to ride a horse?<span style=""> </span>Are you a soldier?<span style=""> </span>Then what’s with the fatigues?<span style=""> </span>Are you a rap star?<span style=""> </span>Then buy some pants that fucking fit you.<span style=""> </span>Golf shoes.<span style=""> </span>Football jerseys.<span style=""> </span>Whatever Michael Jordon endorses.<span style=""> </span>How many “costumes” do you have for sports you don’t even play?<span style=""> </span>A black leather jacket does not make you James Dean any more than a brown bomber jacket makes you a World War II Ace.<span style=""> </span>Yes, we think the photos of you running around in your Superman cape when you were six years-old are adorable.<span style=""> </span>But you’re a grown man now.<span style=""> </span>Get rid of the Spiderman sheets.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And finally---Okay, how do I say this?<span style=""> </span>Recently, I was watching one of my favorite shows on the BBC <span style="font-style: italic;">How Clean Is Your House?</span><span style=""> </span>The premise is, a person with a dirty house calls hosts Kim and Aggie to come in and clean their house.<span style=""> </span>Every episode is accompanied with the 50-something pair of British ladies screaming and eeeking over the dirty filth they’re been subjected to.<span style=""> </span>This particular episode featured “rock star” <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Leon</st1:place></st1:country-region> who was way over fifty, completely bald, requisite British bad teeth, and in a predicament where his house was so filthy, his bandmates were refusing to practice in his basement.<span style=""> </span><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Leon</st1:place></st1:country-region> was (SURPRISE!) single.<span style=""> </span>Admitted that it was getting difficult to bring the “girls” back to his house after gigs and attributed his mess to being busy with “bookings”.<span style=""> </span>When Aggie tried to show him how he could easily clean a copper candlestick with salt, he replied that his normal use for salt was for “tequila shooters”.<span style=""> </span>His home was infested with flesh-eating blowflies and not only were his bed sheets so filthy they were hard as a rock---but next to his bedside, were dried up, crusty hankies!!!---the ladies decided that British stoicism and BBC censors would let that one go.<span style=""> </span><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Meanwhile, Leon</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s main concern was getting his place in shape so he could bring groupies back to his flat!<span style=""> </span>If you’re living with FLESH-EATING BLOWFLIES no amount of encores of you singing “Hang on Sloopy” at the Brice-Johnson wedding is going to convince even the loneliest bridesmaid to spend the night.<span style=""> </span>James Bond did not have flesh-eating blowflies.<span style=""> </span>Not even as a weapon.<span style=""> </span>Clean your house.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’m not out to change the world---I’m just offering you fellows a few friendly pieces of advice.<span style=""> </span>You can take it or leave it.<span style=""> </span>But if one day, you go to the gym and discover that your wallet is missing…<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Don’t be shocked if I say, “Told you so.”<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p>
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<br /><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-36999682283490912432009-09-14T20:21:00.000-07:002009-09-16T00:05:29.511-07:00Time, Souvenirs, and Richard Hell<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-VWi0mRr1WRW5ECJ3Dca-qgAtQ4qF0Q35zV89dJ580RVf3rR54KWeREYU37Sy5LuM-TrEGownl79OJHhuywxgxQBBBhLewtnA5SJ1eLjP9kuLqyazjyW7oO0ox77ddUYmtjzhnz3tjQ/s1600-h/r+hell.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 167px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-VWi0mRr1WRW5ECJ3Dca-qgAtQ4qF0Q35zV89dJ580RVf3rR54KWeREYU37Sy5LuM-TrEGownl79OJHhuywxgxQBBBhLewtnA5SJ1eLjP9kuLqyazjyW7oO0ox77ddUYmtjzhnz3tjQ/s320/r+hell.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381534482394419954" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="Street"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="address"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Writers have always had a love affair with <st1:city st="on">New York City</st1:city>.<span style=""> </span>Only <st1:city st="on">Paris</st1:city> can rival the sheer amount of people who have come to <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">New York</st1:state></st1:place> to live, love, learn and write.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">With so many writers here, readings are plentiful.<span style=""> </span>On any day, at least a dozen readings by prominent writers and authors are taking place all over <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Manhattan</st1:place></st1:city>.<span style=""> </span>Even <st1:place st="on">Brooklyn</st1:place> has gotten into the act.<span style=""> </span>They can occur anywhere from a coffee shop to a nightclub to a Barnes & Noble.<span style=""> </span>Most are free or very inexpensive.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes there’s free coffee and cookies. <span style=""> </span>Sometimes there’s a cash bar and a band.<span style=""> </span>It’s the sort of thing most of your friends have no interest in attending.<span style=""> </span>But happily, it’s the sort of event one never feels conspicuous attending alone.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">The first reading I remember attending was Paul Krassner reading from his autobiography at a local <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city> bookstore years ago.<span style=""> </span>Krassner was one of the early counter-culture heroes of the 60s.<span style=""> </span>Founder of the Yippie movement with Abbie Hoffman, founder and editor of The Realist, a member of Ken Kesey’s Merry Pranksters and one of the most influential satirists of the 20<sup>th</sup> Century.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I had recently read his autobiography and heard he was speaking.<span style=""> </span>Curious, I showed up at the bookstore one afternoon to hear him read from a book I’d already read.<span style=""> </span>I was the youngest person there.<span style=""> </span>A bookstore full of old hippies, anarchists I recognized from the anarchist bookstore on the West Bank, old men who were bald in the front but long hair in the back, Groupies Gone Grandma----and me.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">He talked about his youth.<span style=""> </span>The eerie Cold War shivers of the 50s and trying to conform.<span style=""> </span>And then, the insanity of the 60s, when he just gave in to it all.<span style=""> </span>I listened.<span style=""> </span>Enthralled.<span style=""> </span>I’ve always loved a good story.<span style=""> </span>And Krassner knows how to tell one.<span style=""> </span>AND make it funny.<span style=""> </span>I remember thinking the entire moment was so surreal.<span style=""> </span>Here was a man that J. Edgar Hoover thought was such a threat to National Security that he’d tried to take out a hit on him---and he was just a guy with a bottle of Evian and a book.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">And we were laughing.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">How subversive can you be standing in front of the cookbook aisle?</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">His angrier, edgier days had passed.<span style=""> </span>But he was still full of fire and delicious parody. Still a voice.<span style=""> </span>You could hear it and see it in his eyes.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">That’s the wonderful thing about readings.<span style=""> </span>Witnessing that fire.<span style=""> </span>Hearing those delicate intonations that make a sentence pop off the page and into your consciousness.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">There was a book-signing after the reading.<span style=""> </span>In a desire to complete the experience, I got into the autograph line.<span style=""> </span>Running out of there almost seemed rude.<span style=""> </span>It seemed the thing you were supposed to do.<span style=""> </span>I’ve never been an autograph person.<span style=""> </span>In fact, it was possibly the first voluntary autograph I’d ever sought out.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">My mother, on the other hand, has always been a bit fascinated with celebrity.<span style=""> </span>Not in a creepy way.<span style=""> </span>Just very Midwestern.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">When I was in fifth grade, I made my Confirmation.<span style=""> </span>Our class was told that the Archbishop would be there to preside over the ceremony.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">For some unknown reason, my Mom went out and bought an autograph book.<span style=""> </span>An actual leather-bound book that had the word “Autographs” embossed in gold on the front.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">After the ceremony, we were all standing around the gymnasium drinking Kool-Aid punch when she thrust the autograph book into my hand and said, “Honey---go ask the Bishop for his autograph.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">In those days, my cynicism was silent.<span style=""> </span>Sarcasm bound tightly inside my head.<span style=""> </span>Like a gun I didn’t know how to shoot.<span style=""> </span>Not a weapon to be used on anyone---particularly Mom.<span style=""> </span>And I was shy.<span style=""> </span>REALLY shy.<span style=""> </span>But obedient.<span style=""> </span>So I can safely say that nothing in my life up until that point embarrassed me more than being forced to ask a holy man for his autograph.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I don’t know what I mumbled to the man in the pointy hat.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But he signed it.<span style=""> </span>God love him.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">A few months later, the autograph book invaded my life again.<span style=""> </span>One of my mother's co-workers was Rock Hudson’s cousin.<span style=""> </span>I knew who Rock Hudson was.<span style=""> </span>Had seen his movies with Doris Day in reruns on the local TV station.<span style=""> </span>It was a few years before he was diagnosed with AIDS.<span style=""> </span>At that point, he was the aging, but still glamorous, Rock <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hudson</st1:place></st1:city>.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">One day, I came home from school and my Mom presented me, once again, with the dreaded autograph book and told me to look inside.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">There was my name.<span style=""> </span>And beneath it, something like “Best Wishes.<span style=""> </span>Rock <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hudson</st1:place></st1:city>.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I say “something like” because to this day, the autograph book (with only two autographs) remains in the custody of my mother.<span style=""> </span>Most likely, in a plastic container full of old IRS paperwork and W-2s somewhere in my mother’s basement.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But I like the idea that it’s there.<span style=""> </span>Reminding me less of the person who signed it, than in the actual circumstances of the autograph itself.<span style=""> </span>Rock Hudson couldn’t possibly have known that when his cousin passed him an autograph book at a family reunion it would turn up as a vaguely embarrassing memory of a young girl in a blog years later.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Last week, I heard that Richard Hell would be appearing at The New Museum on <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Bowery Street</st1:address></st1:street>.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I think it’s safe to say that all kids, at some point, think they’re adopted.<span style=""> </span>That disconnect you feel when your parents first knock on your bedroom door and tell you to turn the music down.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I was never a punk.<span style=""> </span>The original punk era was before my time.<span style=""> </span>And I only learned of Richard Hell’s music years after he retired from the scene.<span style=""> </span>But it was exuberant, brash, and just frightening enough to seduce a young Catholic girl from the Midwest. He was one of the founding members of Television and later went on to form Richard Hell and the Voidoids.<span style=""> </span>His iconic look was spotted by Malcolm McLaren who took Hell’s spiky hair, ripped t-shirt and safety pin style back to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">London</st1:place></st1:city> and copied it for The Sex Pistols.<span style=""> </span>And his song, “Blank Generation” was possibly the most non-anthematic anthem in musical history.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Hell also did a few acting stints---Susan Seidelman’s groundbreaking film <span style="font-style: italic;">Smithereens</span> being the most well-known.<span style=""> </span>And it certainly helped that he was not bad to look at.<span style=""> </span>He quickly became one of the few rock star crushes I’ve ever had.<span style=""> </span>Of course, my school-girl crush never would’ve worked out.<span style=""> </span>He was into heroin and I was into Barbies.<span style=""> </span>You know how those things go.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">By the time I discovered him, he’d gone back to his first real love---poetry.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As a writer, he’s had an amazing success not only as a creator of poetry and novels---but also as one of the few survivors of the punk era who has the ability to chronicle those feral CBGB nights.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">So yesterday, I got on the train and headed downtown to hear him speak.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As a museum curator asked the audience to turn off their cell phones, the side door opened and a still-devilishly attractive, 50-something Richard Hell stood bearing manuscripts at the door.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">No sooner did he get up to speak, than cell phones and miniature video cameras began popping out of bags and pockets.<span style=""> </span>One girl in front of me spent the entire forty-five minutes adjusting camera angles and focusing the close-ups on her iPhone.<span style=""> </span>It occurred to me that many of them were so busy documenting the experience, they were missing out on the moment itself.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">He spoke of the early years.<span style=""> </span>Running away from home to <st1:city st="on">New York City</st1:city>, setting up a printing press in his scrappy downtown apartment, and finally forming his first band, The Neon Boys, with Tom Verlaine.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Hell’s writing is stark and gritty, but seminally romantic.<span style=""> </span>Germinating from Baudelaire.<span style=""> </span>Sprouting into Burroughs.<span style=""> </span>And flowering into Hell.
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">At times, he’s been accused of navel-gazing---though with Hell, any gazing is certainly a few inches further down.<span style=""> </span>The “Free Love” era of the sixties almost seems sweet compared to the anonymous, drug-laden sex of the seventies.<span style=""> </span>And poets are supposed to be navel-gazing.<span style=""> </span>That’s part of the job.<span style=""> </span>It’s like expecting a reality show contestant not to be narcissistic.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Introspection is perhaps a better word.<span style=""> </span>That ability to look at the world with a sensory microscope and cough up hypotheses with nothing more than a pen.<span style=""> </span>Autobiography is naturally self-indulgent.<span style=""> </span>Hell recognized this in the chapter on his early friendship with Tom Verlaine; noting that whenever you speak of someone else, you also speak volumes about yourself.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">At the end of the reading, original Voidoids guitar player Ivan Julian stepped on stage, strapped on a guitar and together they performed Hell’s song “Time” as an appropriate end to the evening.<span style=""> </span>But, as Julian turned on the amp and checked the tuning on his guitar---even more video cameras popped out.<span style=""> </span>iPhones.<span style=""> </span>Flip Cameras.<span style=""> </span>And then flashbulbs on everything from digital cameras to cheap instamatics were going off all over the place.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">It seemed offensive.<span style=""> </span>Intrusive.<span style=""> </span>Just this side of tacky.<span style=""> </span>Or was it just me?<span style=""> </span>I suppose it wasn’t really that horrifying---but the sheer amount of cameras and lack of consideration for the subject seemed impersonal. Almost destructive.<span style=""> </span>The difference between buying some postcards at The Pyramids and chipping a bit of stone from the tombs.<span style=""> </span>Souvenir-hunting at its worst. A museum. Exhibit: Hell. Click. Upload.
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Afterwards, a table was set up at the side and the audience was informed that several of Mr. Hell’s books and CDs would be available and he would briefly sign some autographs.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As an avid book-buyer and rabid reader, I certainly wanted one of his books.<span style=""> </span>Not the sort of thing you can easily pick up at a Barnes & Noble.<span style=""> </span>So I bought one that looked interesting.<span style=""> </span>A hardbound collection of his poems and essays.<span style=""> </span>And then, with my own writer’s introspection, it seemed almost insulting to buy a book and then just leave when I was standing two feet away from its author.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I will admit that I do like signed books.<span style=""> </span>But the signed books I own are generally ones written by friends.<span style=""> </span>It’s kind of kitchy and silly to ask your friend to sign their book.<span style=""> </span>But it also acknowledges their accomplishment.<span style=""> </span>They got published.<span style=""> </span>They did good.<span style=""> </span>Congratulations.<span style=""> </span>And they always write something fun inside.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As I stood there with the book in my hand, I didn’t know what would embarrass me more---asking him to sign it or walking past him refusing to let his signature mar my new purchase.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I continued in the line.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">In front of me, everyone seemed to want to talk.<span style=""> </span>Wanted to make the moment memorable for themselves AND for him.<span style=""> </span>Strangers trying desperately to imprint a memory on a man.<span style=""> </span>The line was long, and a museum worker was obviously trying to wrap things up.<span style=""> </span>Hell looked concerned at the length of the line and tried to continue being polite while trying to speed things along.<span style=""> </span>He paused his meet-and-greet to let the crowd know that the museum was closing soon and we would have to move quickly.<span style=""> </span>Meanwhile, the two older women in front of me simply walked behind the table and started posing with him for photos.<span style=""> </span>Not even a “Can we get a photo?”<span style=""> </span>More like a sneak attack.<span style=""> </span>Hell obliged.<span style=""> </span>The camera didn’t flash at the proper time and he was forced to do it two more times.<span style=""> </span>They wanted to talk.<span style=""> </span>Imprint.<span style=""> </span>Hell thanked them and then said, “Does anyone just need a signature?”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I was next.<span style=""> </span>He looked at me and I reached around the photo shoot and handed him the book. As a way of hello, I simply said that I’d enjoyed his reading.<span style=""> </span>He asked my name.<span style=""> </span>I told him.<span style=""> </span>I let him sign in peace.<span style=""> </span>He handed me back the book.<span style=""> </span>I said, “Thank you so much.”<span style=""> </span>He smiled.<o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p>And then I left.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Outside, I opened the book and read what he wrote.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“With gratitude.<span style=""> </span>Richard Hell”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I wondered if the “gratitude” was for being the one person that day who didn’t want to suck up his time.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >I may be a fan, but I’m a writer, too.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >I understand the value of time. And humanity. And respect. And that the best souvenirs are of the mind.</span>
<br /></span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-61317401850239134122009-09-11T05:08:00.000-07:002009-09-16T00:05:39.648-07:00Where Were You On 9-11?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimIAX-xiHZoB0I61MWtZ8p4yu39D8G_Ym5wVO9jADBd3GfpaXgSYyqa5lKPsqu38kqScRKAygUJQ-UO_weyK0NdX_9fpNoPsMY56dNT9O4zqIPthNDhKgYRIpH8qkCHIexBn6GVd53W9w/s1600-h/Office+worker.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380182390426088978" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 200px; height: 305px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimIAX-xiHZoB0I61MWtZ8p4yu39D8G_Ym5wVO9jADBd3GfpaXgSYyqa5lKPsqu38kqScRKAygUJQ-UO_weyK0NdX_9fpNoPsMY56dNT9O4zqIPthNDhKgYRIpH8qkCHIexBn6GVd53W9w/s400/Office+worker.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><div><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Every New Yorker has a story about where they were on 9-11. Mine is not so dramatic.<br /><br />First off, I had moved to New York a mere four months before the attacks. I hardly knew anyone in the city. I’d never even been inside the Twin Towers.<br /><br />At the time, I was living in Midtown. Working two waitressing jobs. The night before, I’d worked late and been up even later writing. When the first plane hit the Twin Towers, I was sound asleep in my comfy bed.<br /><br />It seems shocking to me that anyone could sleep thru a terror attack on their city. You’d think some inner intuitive sense would wake you up. Some evolutionary survival gene would jolt you from your sleep and you would instantly flee like a herd of caribou when a hungry lion appears out of the dust of the Sahara.<br /><br />But apparently I have no such gene. I was sound asleep. All cozy in my bed while, just a few train stops away, thousands of people were going to their deaths.<br /><br />I know I made coffee, because I remember lazily sitting with my coffee and my cigarette as I went online that morning to check my email. And I had a lot of emails that morning. WAY more than normal. The first one, from a friend back in Minneapolis was simply, “Are you okay?”<br /><br />What? I took a drag off my cigarette and read the next one from another friend.<br /><br />“Are you okay? Call me.”<br /><br />It was surreal. I remembered a novel I’d read a few years earlier. “The Moustache” by Emmanuel Carree. A man wakes up one morning and decides to shave off his moustache. He turns to his wife and says, “What do you think?”<br /><br />“About what?”<br /><br />“My moustache? I got rid of it.”<br /><br />“Moustache?” she replies. “You never had a moustache.”<br /><br />Duh-duh-duuummmm!<br /><br />The surreal feeling continued as I opened an email from my brother.<br /><br />“Mom’s been trying to call you all morning, but she can’t get thru. She’s really worried. Can you call or email me to let us know you’re okay?”<br /><br />What was going on?<br /><br />I got up and turned on the TV. Every channel had their cameras focused on the same thing.<br /><br />The Twin Towers in flames.<br /><br />Half-asleep and still in my pajamas, it took a whole fifteen minutes for me to decipher what had happened. Even the news didn’t seem to know. The planes had already crashed into both towers. And I’m not sure if, by this time, the first one had fallen or not. It was all so strange and I wasn’t sure if I was watching repeats or live footage.<br /><br />I was able to get on the phone and call my Mom.<br /><br />I’m fine. I was sleeping. Don’t worry.<br /><br />Honestly, I don’t know what everyone thought I might possibly be doing downtown that early in the morning, anyway. I was a waitress-slash-playwright. How people thought I’d managed to maneuver my playwrighting and coffee-pouring skills into a job in the financial sector, I have no idea. The only reason I might POSSIBLY be down there would have been if I’d gotten a job waiting tables at Windows on the World. And, even then, I NEVER worked breakfast shifts. The meager tips on eggs and toast had never been enough to drag me out of bed before the sun came up.<br /><br />At some point, after I’d called some family and friends and returned some emails stating that I was “fine”, I remember seeing the second tower fall.<br /><br />On TV. In my pajamas. With cinnamon infused coffee.<br /><br />By this time, the news networks were reporting that this was no “accident”. New York City had been attacked. I was stunned. I’d only been here for four months. I’d barely unpacked. And I’d worked so hard just to get my two lousy waitress jobs. And now this?<br /><br />Yes. I was thinking of myself. I had few friends here. Little emotional connection to the city. And one of my waiting tables jobs was in a comedy club. The other was in a tourist restaurant in Times Square. Suddenly, I saw a future with few people wanting to laugh and even fewer wanting to tour my fine city.<br /><br />“Honey,” my Mom had said over the phone that morning, “why don’t you come home for awhile. I’ll send you a plane ticket.”<br /><br />Under the circumstances, the last thing I wanted to do was get on a plane.<br /><br />I did spend the afternoon making calls to the few friends that I had here. One told me he just got home after walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. Another told me that he, too, was fine. He was also thinking it’d be the perfect night to try to pick up chicks. He’s a comic. I couldn’t really laugh, but I knew that humor was his way of dealing with the tragedy. Another friend who lived further downtown had to show her ID and proof of address just to get past police barricades.<br /><br />And then there was the guy I was seeing. He flew a lot. To be honest, even before my concern about my jobs---I was concerned about him. Had he been on a plane that morning? Was he okay? Where the hell was he?<br /><br />The way the phones were working that day, no one could call in to me, but I could call out. After my Mom, he was the first person I called.<br /><br />He was fine. Not flying. At home. Not too far from where I was. Doing the same thing I was. Watching the news. Wondering what would happen next.<br /><br />That morning, he’d seen both towers fall from the view in his penthouse apartment. Two years later, when his lease was up, he moved. He admitted that he hated the memory of looking out the window and watching it all unfold.<br /><br />But that morning, he didn’t invite me over.<br /><br />And I didn’t ask.<br /><br />The relationship was still fairly new. And he’d lived in New York for twenty years. I knew he was going thru different emotions. He had a connection. I didn’t.<br /><br />At least, those were the excuses I made. Looking back, I realize it was the moment I first mentally broke up with him. I was in a new city. Terrified. I just wanted to be held. And he wasn’t there. He hadn’t stepped up. If 9-11 was a relationship test, he failed.<br /><br />I didn’t verbally break up with him. But I mentally did. I pulled back. I felt it. That barely perceptible drift that only the intimate can subliminally translate.<br /><br />I knew no one who’d died in the towers. The whole thing was just too big to really comprehend.<br /><br />What I could comprehend was being alone.<br /><br />I made a cup of tea, vowed not to call him, and cried as I continued to watch the news. In one morning, I’d lost a relationship, two paying jobs, and the hope in my fabulous new city.<br /><br />In my own way, within seconds, I’d also lost a life. I cried. But I cried for me. Poor healthy, alive and intact me.<br /><br />Yes, I knew it in no way compared. But two gigantic towers full of people was just so big. So unreal. It was like something that happened in a foreign country---not a forty-five minute walk away.<br /><br />Two hours later, I finally left my apartment. Police and Army personnel were everywhere. And a thick cloud of dust was in the air. Over the next few days, as the fires continued to burn, I could actually feel myself breathing in heavy soot when I went outside.<br /><br />By this time, office workers from downtown had made their way to Midtown to catch their commutes home. Only a few were bleeding, but most all of them were covered in thick ash and soot. And most of them were in pairs---either finding a fellow co-worker to walk with or picking up a complete stranger along the way.<br /><br />All were silent.<br /><br />The silence that comes from trauma. But all of them had found someone to share it with. Even if it was very un-New York.<br /><br />The usual manic energy of New Yorkers that I’d gotten used to was completely gone. No one was screaming “fuck you!” No one was yelling at their “homie’ across the street. It was a march of the zombies---only occasionally halted when a pair stopped in an open bar for a drink.<br /><br />A few open bars posted “Happy Hour” specials.<br /><br />There were plenty of takers.<br /><br />Bits of burned paperwork from the Twin Towers even floated all the way to Midtown. Not a lot. But I remember seeing the bits and pieces. And the smoke.<br /><br />Within days, hundreds of “missing” posters were plastered everywhere.<br /><br />“John Smith. 38. 5 foot 10. 165 pounds. Brown hair. Hazel eyes. Last seen in Tower Two.<br /><br />Like their loved ones were lost neighborhood cats.<br /><br />And the pigeons. They had all left Manhattan. Not a bird in sight except for a vacant lot near my corner.<br /><br />I remember stopping at the sight.<br /><br />A vacant lot where construction was about to take place.<br /><br />On the lot, was a single dead pigeon.<br /><br />But this single dead pigeon was surrounded by a dozen live pigeons standing guard over the body by forming an actual circle around it. Their feathered heads were bowed and they remained perfectly still. Not cooing. Not pecking at the ground for crumbs. Not walking around trying to mate with another pigeon.<br /><br />Perfectly still. Like statues.<br /><br />It was as if the pigeons were in mourning. I had never seen anything like it.<br /><br />It was four days after 9/11.<br /><br />And the first pigeons I’d seen since the attacks.<br /><br />I watched from the sidewalk. Fairly close.<br /><br />Not one of them moved.<br /><br />Not one of them strayed from their post to peck at the crumbs of bread the crazy old woman down the street had left for them. And none of them feared me.<br /><br />It was a sentry.<br /><br />For a pigeon.<br /><br />For some reason, the emotions of pigeons for one of their own suddenly brought it all home. I looked up and saw the dark cloud of soot that still hung over the city. My Mom had called again that day. Asking if I wanted to come home.<br /><br />“You don’t have to move back home. Just come here and stay for a while.”<br /><br />But at that moment, I was at one with the city.<br /><br />And the pigeons. I bowed my head and stood with them. Perfectly still. I had hardly known anyone in New York. Until now, there hadn’t been anyone to mourn with.<br /><br />Except the pigeons.<br /><br />They didn’t fly away. They allowed me to stay. I stood with them in silence. In thought. Meditation.<br /><br />I finally had the opportunity to mourn.<br /><br />With pigeons.<br /><br />To this day, it’s my strongest memory of 9-11.<br /><br />It may not be as dramatic a story as escaping the Towers, walking across bridges, or pulling people out from under fallen debris.<br /><br />But it’s my story.<br /><br />It's the day I became a New Yorker.</span></div>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-81886072393415647992009-08-23T20:48:00.000-07:002009-09-16T00:05:45.908-07:00Have You Been Writing?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCkpSbIPyATfuZ82uaDh0HYAxKpyIpnyhvLY83N2lB7No74Dpa-5Hq_bGick41zt2VQa-tYlPFrYzGjQXfge6_U8kia59t2W3Fblc0aBxmmceseYuOvammV9ecKLr_gC2y0BU8yHW1Zd4/s1600-h/Are+You+Writing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCkpSbIPyATfuZ82uaDh0HYAxKpyIpnyhvLY83N2lB7No74Dpa-5Hq_bGick41zt2VQa-tYlPFrYzGjQXfge6_U8kia59t2W3Fblc0aBxmmceseYuOvammV9ecKLr_gC2y0BU8yHW1Zd4/s400/Are+You+Writing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5373374248609689954" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Recently, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a few weeks.<span style=""> </span>One of the first things he asked me was, “So, have you been writing?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >“Yeah.<span style=""> </span>I’m finishing a screenplay and getting ready to start a new one…”
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >As I spoke, I could see his eyes glazing over.<span style=""> </span>Apparently, this question was along the lines of, “Hi!<span style=""> </span>How are you?” and I hadn't picked up on the subtlety.<span style=""> </span>A detailed medical history was not required.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="times new roman">If you’re a writer, you’ll get this question on a regular basis.<span style=""> </span>People seem to think they need to check up on you.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">You still writing?
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /><!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--> <!--[endif]--></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Yup.<span style=""> </span>Still writing.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">As if it’s a game of Gotcha!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Sometimes they’ll even accuse you of not writing.<span style=""> </span>The other day, I posted a Status Update on my Facebook page quoting Gore Vidal.<span style=""> </span>A friend I haven’t seen in a few years commented, “Stop talking about other writers and write.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">What?<span style=""> </span>I was just taking a break from typing in the new stuff for three solid hours.<span style=""> </span>I’m writing!<span style=""> </span>For godsakes!<span style=""> </span>Stop accusing me of not writing!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Even my ex-boyfriend called after the break-up to inquire how I was doing by asking the question, “So, how’s the writing going?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">“It’s fine.<span style=""> </span>The writing’s fine.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I suppose I wouldn’t mind hearing the question on an almost daily basis, if there were actually some follow-up.<span style=""> </span>Maybe if someone offered to actually READ what I’ve been writing.<span style=""> </span>But not even fellow writers are interested in reading what you’re writing.<span style=""> </span>Why?<span style=""> </span>They’re too busy writing and fending off the eternal questions about how THEIR writing is coming along.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Last week, I ran into a writer friend of mine.<span style=""> </span>I just happened to have a copy of the first 30 pages of my screenplay in my bag.<span style=""> </span>We chatted a bit and then I asked, “Hey---would you do me a favor and take a look at this?”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“Oh sure.<span style=""> </span>Absolutely.<span style=""> </span>When are you here next?<span style=""> </span>Tomorrow.<span style=""> </span>Great! <span style=""> </span>I’ll drop it by tomorrow.<span style=""> </span>No problem.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Five minutes after I handed him the script, I realized I would never see it again.<span style=""> </span>The next day, my suspicions were confirmed.<span style=""> </span>It’s been over a week now and I have YET to hear back.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">But have no fear that the next time I run into him, undoubtedly the first question out of his mouth will be, “So, how’s the writing going?”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Of course, if people really want to know how the writing’s going, they could come out and see your work.<span style=""> </span>But sometimes it’s difficult to get even your best friends to show up.<span style=""> </span>I swear, I could do a striptease while singing “Sweet Adeline” and no one would show up.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">A few years ago, my friend Nina and I did a two-woman show.<span style=""> </span>One Night Only!<span style=""> </span>Hope to see you there!<span style=""> </span>We sent out emails and made up little postcards and passed them out to our friends.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">It was part of a showcase, and it was a packed house.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">A packed house full of strangers.<span style=""> </span>Sadly, we had no peeps.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">After the show, as we were hauling our props and costumes outside, Nina looked across the street at another theatre letting out.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“Is that Bob?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Our OWN DIRECTOR was across the street at another theatre watching another show!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I take it as no judgment on my writing skills.<span style=""> </span>I know tons of talented people and I admit to being as guilty as the next person of not attending enough of my friend’s shows.<span style=""> </span>And in NYC, the entertainment options are far too many.<span style=""> </span>Kind of hard to get your friends to come to your play in <st1:place st="on">Brooklyn</st1:place> when they’ve got tickets to see Jane Fonda on Broadway.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But the question remains---why do people always ask if I’m writing?<span style=""> </span>Do people literally need to see me with pen and paper in hand to be reassured that I’m still writing?<span style=""> </span>The other day, I was sitting at a table doubled up over a notepad and someone actually came up to me and said, “Are you writing?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">No.<span style=""> </span>I’m dancing a minuet, jackass.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Today I received a comment on this blog wondering where I’d been.<span style=""> </span>Wanting me to “come back”.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Okay, I’ll admit that I haven’t posted since my 30 Day blogging marathon.<span style=""> </span>And I’m grateful for the thought.<span style=""> </span>But I blogged for THIRTY DAYS!<span style=""> </span>Thirty days straight of trying to write a clever, yet thoughtful essay EVERY DAY!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">That’s a lot of work.<span style=""> </span>If you don’t think it is, just try it sometime.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">It’s not like I went anywhere.<span style=""> </span>I was just busy working on other things.<span style=""> </span>Real stuff.<span style=""> </span>After all, this is just A BLOG.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I’ve also received a few emails from friends recently, wondering what I’ve been up to.<span style=""> </span>“Haven’t seen any new blogs lately.<span style=""> </span>Is everything okay?<span style=""> </span>Are you writing?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">The correlation seems to be that if I’m not writing, everything is not “okay”.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And really, that’s all anyone wants to know about me or anyone.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">How’s everything?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Everything’s okay.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then you can get down to planning to see a movie or hitting the newest tapas bar downtown.<span style=""> </span>Maybe even seeing a friend’s show in <st1:place st="on">Queens</st1:place>?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Nah.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Who goes to a show in <st1:place st="on">Queens</st1:place>?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">All borough snobbery aside, there seems to be this misconception that writers can’t write when things are not going so well.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">This is far from the truth. <span style=""> </span>Sure, I didn’t write for about two days when my Uncle passed away last month.<span style=""> </span>There were calls to make and family stuff to deal with.<span style=""> </span>And not exactly in the mood to write sketch comedy.<span style=""> </span>But a few days later, I was itching to get back to work.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Since I last posted here, I directed and edited a half hour film (from a script that I wrote), finished three drafts of a feature-length screenplay, wrote for TWO sketch comedy shows, held a screening for the film, came up with a treatment for ANOTHER screenplay and am now in contact with the FBI to do some research with them, finally got up at the theatre I’d been banging my head against the wall to get into (and it went really well, by the way, thanks for asking!), and about half a dozen other new things that I won’t even bother to go into…because really, no one wants the details.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Are you writing?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Yeah.<span style=""> </span>I’m writing.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And just for your information, the amount of pages churned out has no direct corollary to how one is ACTUALLY doing.<span style=""> </span>Any writer will tell you that.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But yeah.<span style=""> </span>I’m writing.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Even if I wasn’t----waddya gonna do about it?<span style=""> </span>Hmmm?<span style=""> </span>Take me out back and cane me like a Muslim woman who showed too much eyebrow?<span style=""> </span>Shove me onto a train to a retreat in The Poconos?<span style=""> </span>Take away my good pens?<span style=""> </span>Refuse to let me darken your doorstep or be around your children?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Why do people always ask if I’ve been writing?!?!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Would you ask your doctor if he’s still doctoring?<span style=""> </span>Your mother if she’s still mothering?<span style=""> </span>An NFL player if he’s still beating the crap out of his wife?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">This is what we DO.<span style=""> </span>Whether you see it or not.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But…yeah.<span style=""> </span>Everything’s okay.<span style=""> </span>Thanks for asking.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >I’m fine.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >And I’m writing.</span><span style=""> </span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-34950260297229413492009-05-25T21:37:00.000-07:002009-05-25T22:58:02.255-07:00My Right Foot---Day 30: The Bees, The Water, and The Perils of Pauline<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxOjWQ5y3J2cd3g2OzLwIfhOG3LYy_BTBGw067jwqFx8jORyQ635JJ6mHTgtJAq4pziXOHlCiVR9-nK2dr3skguhFlan9gcA1L4nR2eH1Cl6AMJYmZmqp-5uOKV0K3j0PgcT6vKcWeyyY/s1600-h/diving_board.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 356px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxOjWQ5y3J2cd3g2OzLwIfhOG3LYy_BTBGw067jwqFx8jORyQ635JJ6mHTgtJAq4pziXOHlCiVR9-nK2dr3skguhFlan9gcA1L4nR2eH1Cl6AMJYmZmqp-5uOKV0K3j0PgcT6vKcWeyyY/s400/diving_board.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339990665861440674" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >While most people fear the unknown, I see it as an adventure.<span style=""> </span>Getting on a train just to see where it takes me doesn’t faze me one bit.<span style=""> </span>After all, what can happen to me on a Train to Somewhere?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >My fears stem from previous unpleasant experiences.<span style=""> </span>If you asked me to get in a helicopter and fly around <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Manhattan</st1:place></st1:city>, I wouldn’t blink an eye.<span style=""> </span>I’ve never been in a helicopter---it sounds like fun!</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >But if you asked me to submit to the same theatre group I’ve been banging my head up against a wall to get read at even one more time---well, I’d just curl up into my shell and claim I didn’t have anything to submit.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >If you asked me to jump on a trampoline, nothing would hold me back.<span style=""> </span>But if you asked me to jump down just three steps onto a cement platform----beads of sweat would start to form on my brow.<span style=""> </span>I broke my jaw that way last year.<span style=""> </span>That’s a big time fear.<span style=""> </span>That hurt.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Essentially, if I was hurt, I don’t want to go back.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It’s like a joke a comic I know used to do in her act.<span style=""> </span>“Convincing a divorced guy to get married again is like trying to get a soldier to go back to <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Nam</st1:place></st1:country-region>.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’d love to visit <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Nam</st1:place></st1:country-region>!----but then, I never fought a war there, either.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">We all have our own personal wars.<span style=""> </span>Our own Waterloos.<span style=""> </span>Those things in our life that were so painful and/or frightening that we never want to go back.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’m afraid of a lot of things.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Oddly, my friends and family have always thought of me as brave.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >“I can’t believe you’re moving to <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">New York</st1:state></st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>That takes courage.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“You went to <st1:place st="on">Europe</st1:place> all by yourself?<span style=""> </span>You’re not afraid of anything.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >“You walked across the George Washington Bridge? You've got guts.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Actually, I have none of the above.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I just have different fears.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Some of my fears are a little irrational---like my fear of clowns and John Davidson.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">A few of my fears are somewhat more rational---like my fear of swimming in water deeper than five feet.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">This particular fear stems from an incident at the YMCA.<span style=""> </span>I was in fourth grade.<span style=""> </span>It was winter.<span style=""> </span>And a few weeks into the class, I caught pneumonia---most likely caused by leaving the Y with a wet head in December.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">But the pneumonia isn’t what did it.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >After I recovered, I went back to my swim class.<span style=""> </span>I had a lot to make up and the instructor tried to catch me up to the rest of the class.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">But I did my best and somehow managed to pass.<span style=""> </span>At the end of the test, the instructor told us that we could all go to the deep end of the pool and jump off the diving board if we liked. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">What?<span style=""> </span>Apparently, I’d missed quite a lot those weeks I was sick.<span style=""> </span>The kids who’d seemed so terrified of the water on Day One were now all rushing to the deep end of the pool as if this was going to be fun.<span style=""> </span>What?<span style=""> </span>Not wanting to be the coward of the bunch, I slowly followed them to the deep end.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Very slowly.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I had this crazy idea that if I was the last person in line, perhaps---just perhaps, there might not be time for me to dive in.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">But before I knew it, the kids all started diving happily into the water.<span style=""> </span>Swimming around like a bunch of seals.<span style=""> </span>The line got shorter and shorter and next thing you know, another line started to form behind me.<span style=""> </span>These idiots wanted to do it AGAIN?!?!<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I was doomed.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">My skinny little bird legs were shaking as I stepped cautiously onto the diving board.<span style=""> </span>The kids behind me started yelling, “Hurry up!<span style=""> </span>Come on!”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I got to the edge of the diving board and looked down into the deep blue water below---much bluer than the water in the shallow end of the pool.<span style=""> </span>It was the scariest thing I’d ever seen.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">The instructor tried to talk me thru it.<span style=""> </span>But I couldn’t hear anything she said.<span style=""> </span>I started to get dizzy looking into the deep, deep blue.<span style=""> </span>And then I started to feel ill.<span style=""> </span>Physically ill.<span style=""> </span>Then I noticed the silence.<span style=""> </span>The silence that comes from that moment of hesitation.<span style=""> </span>Will she or won’t she?<span style=""> </span>Every eye in the pool was now on me.<span style=""> </span>Waiting.<span style=""> </span>Even the instructor stopped talking and just let me decide. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">It was now or never.<span style=""> </span>To dive or not to dive.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I took a deep breath…<span style=""> </span>And then I turned around and chickened out.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">There were no catcalls.<span style=""> </span>The kids behind me simply raced past me to jump off the diving board.<span style=""> </span>They were too busy having fun.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">But I was humiliated.<span style=""> </span>Why did I even get on that stupid diving board to begin with?<span style=""> </span>Why did I even think I could do that?<span style=""> </span>Darn that pneumonia!<span style=""> </span>Darn those missed classes!<span style=""> </span>Darn!<span style=""> </span>Darn!<span style=""> </span>Darn!</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">As I walked around the side of the pool, I slipped on the wet floor and just fell right into twelve feet of water. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">All I remember is just flailing about under the deep blue.<span style=""> </span>Skinny arms and skinny legs flapping all over the place.<span style=""> </span>Trying to hold my breath.<span style=""> </span>I was too scared to open my eyes.<span style=""> </span>I remember my feet touching the bottom of the pool and I knew I was sunk.<span style=""> </span>Literally.<span style=""> </span>Suddenly, my hands caught hold of a volleyball pole that was standing upright at the edge of the pool.<span style=""> </span>I grabbed onto the pole and climbed up like a blind monkey.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">By this time, the instructor and the lifeguard had jumped into the water---but I had somehow managed to save myself.<span style=""> </span>Not by swimming---but by climbing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I coughed up some water and slunk away to the locker room.<span style=""> </span>Humiliated.<span style=""> </span>Twice in two minutes.<span style=""> </span>I have never gone in deep water since.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Today, on my last day of this blog---I decide to conquer a fear.<span style=""> </span>This morning, I dig out my swimsuit and pack my gym bag.<span style=""> </span>I’m going to the gym.<span style=""> </span>Not just to work out---but to sign up for swimming lessons.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Unfortunately, my gym card is nowhere to be found.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">After over an hour of tearing thru pockets and purses, I decide to come up with another plan.<span style=""> </span>To conquer some other fear.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">But what?<span style=""> </span>And where?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I hop on a train and get off in Midtown.<span style=""> </span>If I just start walking around, surely I’ll come across a clown or John Davidson or something.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Two hours and one giant juice later, I have stumbled across no fear to conquer except the fear of mixing watermelon with wheatgrass.<span style=""> </span>Nothing to be afraid of, really.<span style=""> </span>Just didn’t rock my boat.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I am about to give up, when I stumble across this:</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0rDAnpQqTGdVhxQwhz5ruXGt-9ql92-2DoPSKx5LFARZs6CsV6vnggOIwToKCKOxvXfY1WsyLKKH0O0j12zq5VMxDAr-N5QSBl1g-dDkFI7t-tEkaSs2TLAP6XbJ4cNRAKsUBSgGQi7Q/s1600-h/Community+Garden.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0rDAnpQqTGdVhxQwhz5ruXGt-9ql92-2DoPSKx5LFARZs6CsV6vnggOIwToKCKOxvXfY1WsyLKKH0O0j12zq5VMxDAr-N5QSBl1g-dDkFI7t-tEkaSs2TLAP6XbJ4cNRAKsUBSgGQi7Q/s400/Community+Garden.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339989120098276450" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A community garden I had no idea even existed.<span style=""> </span>One of those Hell’s Kitchen anomalies tucked away in the upper forties.<span style=""> </span>It was adorable, and I took some pictures of the flowers with my camera.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oXywWjUSQGQUTI7ABySnIBNffdyCG-J-sZtE6b_TEAGlDXY649ovSPkEr4UC37h4kzQmXf72hyDTJlSORYSs6o2Y1FSKagUhk2w79xovozh1l1tB4EBgw1Ozobd22_cfxx1ESPb2lo0/s1600-h/Purple+Flower.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oXywWjUSQGQUTI7ABySnIBNffdyCG-J-sZtE6b_TEAGlDXY649ovSPkEr4UC37h4kzQmXf72hyDTJlSORYSs6o2Y1FSKagUhk2w79xovozh1l1tB4EBgw1Ozobd22_cfxx1ESPb2lo0/s400/Purple+Flower.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339991532213354738" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceName"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceType"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">As I started to crawl through the back underbelly of the garden, I noticed a wooden cabinet buried in the weeds.<span style=""> </span>Out of curiosity, I got in closer.<span style=""> </span>And then I took a step back.<span style=""> </span>Oh my god.<span style=""> </span>It was bees.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">With <st1:city st="on">Manhattan</st1:city> being more of an urban jungle, the wise folks at the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Clinton</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Community</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Garden</st1:placetype></st1:place> had decided to do something to attract some bees.<span style=""> </span>They built a beehive.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqCMxCxSnqhXRvAU7p5V9IfOXF2HlD5UanVNEl87X4lwaNltCuYgXoiDsBtrEqUy5tMW0u1f02RK-pI0ceVjowP5WYNRlckGRoshkjlh9yjSjvyxgWRMC93kIN7F2JfsNohS4Ex6NYHg0/s1600-h/Beehive-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqCMxCxSnqhXRvAU7p5V9IfOXF2HlD5UanVNEl87X4lwaNltCuYgXoiDsBtrEqUy5tMW0u1f02RK-pI0ceVjowP5WYNRlckGRoshkjlh9yjSjvyxgWRMC93kIN7F2JfsNohS4Ex6NYHg0/s400/Beehive-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988919400847554" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’m afraid of bees.<span style=""> </span>I’ve been stung twice.<span style=""> </span>Once by a bee and once by a wasp.<span style=""> </span>Both times hurt like hell.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">But today, I was determined to conquer a fear.<span style=""> </span>And since the bees were the only fear I could find in Midtown today, I crawled in with them.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">While it may not look like I was very close to the hive---trust me, bees were zooming in all around me.<span style=""> </span></p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjao-M5i4Jzrqgcd8GcyRHTUd208yMLOj_ToGIqoKu-fBGUa6P3qF7f-1kAoRZTCxAV0YuINJFsyWUVBdQR0DIv-KeEoAFZPXHqki7mnzz13tHwk7r7iclQkzq-iz-5aCqofpkccHO6a5s/s1600-h/Beehive-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjao-M5i4Jzrqgcd8GcyRHTUd208yMLOj_ToGIqoKu-fBGUa6P3qF7f-1kAoRZTCxAV0YuINJFsyWUVBdQR0DIv-KeEoAFZPXHqki7mnzz13tHwk7r7iclQkzq-iz-5aCqofpkccHO6a5s/s400/Beehive-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988824558709362" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceName"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceType"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I remained as still as possible as I watched them crawl in and out thru the little slots.<span style=""> </span>I began to wonder who took care of the bees.<span style=""> </span>And did they harvest the honey?<span style=""> </span>The whole thing was so fascinating that I almost forgot I was surrounded by bees.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">As I left the garden, I heard some kids talking on the sidewalk outside.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“You wanna go in there?”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“No!<span style=""> </span>That’s where the bees are!”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I felt good.<span style=""> </span>Pretty darned good.<span style=""> </span>While I can’t say I’ll be applying for apiary jobs anytime soon---it was nice to know that I had the courage to face the bees.<span style=""> </span>For about five minutes.<span style=""> </span>From a distance of three feet.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Sure, it wasn’t much.<span style=""> </span>But then, I didn’t plan this day very well.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t plan to walk across the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">George</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Washington</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Bridge</st1:placetype></st1:place> either.<span style=""> </span>I just wanted to know what was on the other side.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">On the other side, is <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Fort Lee</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">New Jersey</st1:state></st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>An interesting note about Fort Lee (that I neglected to mention 30 days ago) is that Fort Lee, <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New Jersey</st1:place></st1:state> was the original Film Capital of the World.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">In the early silent days, <st1:place st="on">Fort Lee</st1:place> was where the magic happened.<span style=""> </span>Major studios set up shop there and used the outlying area for locations. </p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Here is a photo I took of the cliffs the day I walked across the bridge.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmOduSOjJ3kik-mHjtnXDjPSvDNeXfE5ffOkYvQEPKr2jmczvxy94Mwbzhn4pRLmIyjZaTSFu9vmHX9U-clD16shluiDiKC-ZNQ5wgdb3fiNw0yxKvikSlG-Mlnc5c5iv1NKKgz8k95o/s1600-h/Cliffhanger.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmOduSOjJ3kik-mHjtnXDjPSvDNeXfE5ffOkYvQEPKr2jmczvxy94Mwbzhn4pRLmIyjZaTSFu9vmHX9U-clD16shluiDiKC-ZNQ5wgdb3fiNw0yxKvikSlG-Mlnc5c5iv1NKKgz8k95o/s400/Cliffhanger.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988709916200930" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And here is a photo of Pearl White shooting an episode of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Perils of Pauline</span> in that same area.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKjIdAxbL1_Z-4gQgzzGks4cBgdRYvgVtKtSkQe_Cx1vAxk99lCLgsd_Armk96r2v1ZF8Sn3JvrecY80tvTyFP4IlI9peMEHri0BMffKUMRXDJXEKFP8fXrrHft6bflYE53cYy9v0vuKM/s1600-h/pearlwhite.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 297px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKjIdAxbL1_Z-4gQgzzGks4cBgdRYvgVtKtSkQe_Cx1vAxk99lCLgsd_Armk96r2v1ZF8Sn3JvrecY80tvTyFP4IlI9peMEHri0BMffKUMRXDJXEKFP8fXrrHft6bflYE53cYy9v0vuKM/s400/pearlwhite.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988549852076770" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The word “cliffhanger” actually comes from these very cliffs. The serial films that would show the damsel in distress hanging from a cliff or tied to the railroad tracks with the train fast approaching.<span style=""> </span>The editor would cut the film just at the moment of suspense hoping to get the nickelodeon audience to return the next week.<span style=""> </span>Although, as a total geek note---the earliest “cliffhangers” (like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Perils of Pauline</span>) actually resolved the scary drama by the end of the reel.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Pearl White, looking back on her early film career once said, “I've done a million stunts. I've been hurt over and over again. But it never happened when what I was doing looked really dangerous.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Sure, I was afraid of the bees.<span style=""> </span>But what was I REALLY afraid of?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A few minutes later, I walked into a diner.<span style=""> </span></p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamrWeN-VoAJZsJgRYRj3tzfpfeTUp5-unOfdPtoWskxNGGOYzfDnxoxWhxW9_VT9iaEtK20L9ULl-NymKJXLQu9KuQfCnqPx7E5GI-tHSf4S5kwuXD-tN7cd9HkoETlw2P77tBQ0BeSw/s1600-h/Diner+Foot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamrWeN-VoAJZsJgRYRj3tzfpfeTUp5-unOfdPtoWskxNGGOYzfDnxoxWhxW9_VT9iaEtK20L9ULl-NymKJXLQu9KuQfCnqPx7E5GI-tHSf4S5kwuXD-tN7cd9HkoETlw2P77tBQ0BeSw/s400/Diner+Foot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988248251402722" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I ordered a tuna sandwich.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAPdlEyoB6cdM6bvpnr3-mqcennT3u4PckIk6AxRv6OMUX7yRtv-klAblOjpMU3KISsfktfybujayZ94W3Z71YU91gaQZZDgtTid3M-OLkfbxEqVuNuhXsRZJKnMcCTviRvGnu0IveZ4/s1600-h/Diner+Sandwich.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAPdlEyoB6cdM6bvpnr3-mqcennT3u4PckIk6AxRv6OMUX7yRtv-klAblOjpMU3KISsfktfybujayZ94W3Z71YU91gaQZZDgtTid3M-OLkfbxEqVuNuhXsRZJKnMcCTviRvGnu0IveZ4/s400/Diner+Sandwich.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988149853224018" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And I sat down to write.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPoxxnNvlhbcRC_9wy7-Xon-G8kXBjCOIG_QT1xaDAcv-nuNCWjGOLJKRPRHwByScKmUJMSoXIUUKm7r3PDylrhQ7WS_PSmtjrlRewntqZXfOM2jYuZFgc_8SU2cxBUdo-_ahYAAilEuw/s1600-h/Diner+Writing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPoxxnNvlhbcRC_9wy7-Xon-G8kXBjCOIG_QT1xaDAcv-nuNCWjGOLJKRPRHwByScKmUJMSoXIUUKm7r3PDylrhQ7WS_PSmtjrlRewntqZXfOM2jYuZFgc_8SU2cxBUdo-_ahYAAilEuw/s400/Diner+Writing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339988050912590786" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And what I write is the most dangerous thing I have ever attempted.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Because… </p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE9kYgqYjfDZ9EhVT7JxXYQy8FfClwXKjiUW2G3gSpJ8UZGxVZaIrU47HIvH0ezCIFeKHcQMQmykKb0iisdK3eu1r4RX0K74DgNvtDkJkXiCSsqhQU0CiTR3PPBAmcYDx8pFZPONvNiuI/s1600-h/HelenHolmes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 316px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE9kYgqYjfDZ9EhVT7JxXYQy8FfClwXKjiUW2G3gSpJ8UZGxVZaIrU47HIvH0ezCIFeKHcQMQmykKb0iisdK3eu1r4RX0K74DgNvtDkJkXiCSsqhQU0CiTR3PPBAmcYDx8pFZPONvNiuI/s400/HelenHolmes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339987925832373698" border="0" /></a>
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<br />hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-58112856374301438132009-05-24T23:13:00.000-07:002009-05-25T13:16:41.150-07:00My Right Foot---Day 29: The Armory Show<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCo59jfwiBADsgsGskIC1DzQ_b3AslHFS1DaZicXMlHv0d2xLsji8N82ij0c6jKp1pG46d3NNMZpAgFGwM5IIoeRcYTGHT3CXpg-tiV4y4sEtSJD-CO3KUl31k9PBsJ9nvqC5nGykaycA/s1600-h/The+Armory.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCo59jfwiBADsgsGskIC1DzQ_b3AslHFS1DaZicXMlHv0d2xLsji8N82ij0c6jKp1pG46d3NNMZpAgFGwM5IIoeRcYTGHT3CXpg-tiV4y4sEtSJD-CO3KUl31k9PBsJ9nvqC5nGykaycA/s320/The+Armory.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339643080353548642" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="Street"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="address"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Last week, I heard about an amazing installation piece at a place called The Armory.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And although I have been to quite a few of <st1:city st="on">New York City</st1:city>’s many museums---I have never even HEARD of The Armory.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Turns out, The Armory is exactly what it sounds like---an old Armory on <st1:place st="on">Park Avenue</st1:place> built in 1881 by the National Guard’s prestigious Seventh Regiment. Prestigious because it was back in the day when military service (at least the upper echelon of the service) was not just for the poor.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Members of the “Seventh” included some of the wealthiest and most influential families in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state>.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">So when they decided to build an Armory, the wealthy Regiment members recruited the top designers of their day---Louis C.Tiffany, Stanford White, Herter Brothers and Pottier & Stymus.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">This is a room called The Library.
<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdTq6Y46ZgtZy3SIqJnwqAPRy7E7hofbE8E2yqJAg_mkVnej0llZGbCy-vBoWviguKeU2E-A5XbOvolgS_rUcgJez4qqKGQRMSTtpC8bC28Jkxmgxd7RSE-PXW3OxFkdTOIIhZrT2Rug/s1600-h/Armory+Library.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdTq6Y46ZgtZy3SIqJnwqAPRy7E7hofbE8E2yqJAg_mkVnej0llZGbCy-vBoWviguKeU2E-A5XbOvolgS_rUcgJez4qqKGQRMSTtpC8bC28Jkxmgxd7RSE-PXW3OxFkdTOIIhZrT2Rug/s320/Armory+Library.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642856062061490" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >The Library (now known as The Silver Room) was designed by Louis C. Tiffany and Stanford White. Tiffany was the son of Charles Lewis Tiffany, founder of Tiffany & Company. Louis C., however, was determined to become an artist in his own medium and drifted into stained glass. All the windows and lighting fixtures in the room are his designs. The rest of the room is Stanford White's design.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Stanford White is known for many things. Yes, he built the Manhattan mansions for the Astors and the Vanderbilts. And yes, he built the famous arch that still stands in Washington Square Park. And yes, he was responsible for what is known in architecture as the "American Renaissance". But he is probably best-known for the scandal surrounding his death.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >White was what they called back then, a womanizer. Today, he'd more likely be called a child molester.
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<br />Here's a photo of the seductive Mr. White.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0RQeF_SaxQEXVOcs_O9kOy_xVIvHo1ojgnrbyp1s8vNQtewRhlIfaP_JIGTwXVcudHLSa19S5aSDNbhh-CdwSs1LdFL0JG6jykTrAsHnKNz8LEknePmTBW_kjQ6YiLDyP0c95jFERU8Y/s1600-h/Stanford+White.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0RQeF_SaxQEXVOcs_O9kOy_xVIvHo1ojgnrbyp1s8vNQtewRhlIfaP_JIGTwXVcudHLSa19S5aSDNbhh-CdwSs1LdFL0JG6jykTrAsHnKNz8LEknePmTBW_kjQ6YiLDyP0c95jFERU8Y/s320/Stanford+White.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339660221878559922" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Yup. That's the Mr. Big of 1901. Settle down girls, he's already taken---I mean buried.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >White was notorious for seducing very young women, getting them drunk on champagne, and taking their virginity. Oh---and The Red Velvet Swing. Architect that he was, he also designed an enormous red velvet swing in his secret tryst apartment. According to all reports, he used to get off pushing the naked girls in the swing. Actually, pretty tame by today's standards---except for the child molestation and all.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >In 1901, he met sixteen year-old Evelyn Nesbit who was a Floradora Girl on Broadway. He was 47. Unfortunately for Miss Nesbit, she had a mother who looked the other way when the nearly 50 year-old wealthy architect offered to show her his etchings. Mom pimped her out.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Not long after, White tired of the now de-flowered Floradora Girl and set off to find other young playmates.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Five years later, Miss Nesbit finally married. A guy from a wealthy family named Henry K. Thaw.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Thaw and White were rivals---at least in Thaw's mind. While competing backstage for chorus girls, White had apparently made some disparaging remark about Thaw that he believed ruined his chances with the little lovelies.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >While Stanford White was a child molester, Henry K. Thaw was a sadist. He constantly carried guns and once locked Evelyn Nesbit up in a room and beat her with a dog whip. Then he begged her to marry him.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >She tried to get away from him by using the one piece of information that would make him leave her alone. She admitted that White had taken her virginity. She wasn't good enough for him, she explained.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Thaw was furious. But for some reason, it seemed to increase his ardor. Even Thaw's mother, who'd always found him to be a handful, begged the young chorus girl to marry her son so he would finally settle down.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >For whatever reason, Evelyn did.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >In 1906, Thaw showed up at the rooftop of the Madison Square Garden for a show wearing a long black coat. It was a hot night in June. A few minutes later, he shot Stanford White point blank in the face. He either yelled "You ruined my life" or "You ruined my wife." No one really knows for sure. Either way, White was killed instantly.
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<br />In 1906, Hearst's papers called it "The Trial of the Century". </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Knowing these little tidbits makes visiting places like The Armory so much more interesting. But I loved poking around the Regimental rooms.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >While the entire upstairs was out of commission---pretty much everything downstairs was fair game. Unlike most historic buildings, there are few ropes to keep out the visitors. Few guards standing around watching in case you get too close to a wall. You can touch things. Open doors. One door in the Field and Staff Room was slightly ajar. Tucked behind the oak-panneled walls was this:</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguHuZ5__5Zrliexzzynp6T0MqdHTlimOcWiQ2lDnGmn5UP1bSu4nCAk6ldaqQufc_C3Re2qih5BBobGaKH9moZEwTiib0j20_wz2cZl_k096oCcEaQ1WXOWObWCoRxwbg9mHcYa9jGs3Y/s1600-h/Armory+Bathroom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguHuZ5__5Zrliexzzynp6T0MqdHTlimOcWiQ2lDnGmn5UP1bSu4nCAk6ldaqQufc_C3Re2qih5BBobGaKH9moZEwTiib0j20_wz2cZl_k096oCcEaQ1WXOWObWCoRxwbg9mHcYa9jGs3Y/s320/Armory+Bathroom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642776778902594" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >But in that same room, you can see the hand-painted frescoes on the wood.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZbx_bnKGyvC99MDcycAVjJMycY0meEAEa9UDKyhYDNdx2WVh5lf8n6R0siViM7n3Ei8TY2PF1o4mD0M0LGz68hXT77Gb5wVnexgqJ1196WrXtoHOzwurXBsgGxDX3SsAXE0Z5DZdbJIQ/s1600-h/Armory+Painting.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZbx_bnKGyvC99MDcycAVjJMycY0meEAEa9UDKyhYDNdx2WVh5lf8n6R0siViM7n3Ei8TY2PF1o4mD0M0LGz68hXT77Gb5wVnexgqJ1196WrXtoHOzwurXBsgGxDX3SsAXE0Z5DZdbJIQ/s320/Armory+Painting.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642664698462034" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Make no mistake, this was a military building. Medals and trophies for foreign campaigns littered the rooms. The Library even contained the Regimental Silver---a concept I will NEVER understand. Why does a Regiment need silver spoons?</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0aY1sKkox3PgE7j-msjRJgI3luZxbAEk02ckh7mTp63IqUcmeSvv9Ew-bN6D5NjQ3Tx1CFB7pW9mUzOS2AddmHkKHW0hfr6Ms5xQdleANH_dVFDuayuu3uyBI44U598rmZxZeknKoKiU/s1600-h/Armory+Silver.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0aY1sKkox3PgE7j-msjRJgI3luZxbAEk02ckh7mTp63IqUcmeSvv9Ew-bN6D5NjQ3Tx1CFB7pW9mUzOS2AddmHkKHW0hfr6Ms5xQdleANH_dVFDuayuu3uyBI44U598rmZxZeknKoKiU/s320/Armory+Silver.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642580375887762" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >But the pride of the building is something else entirely---an enormous space known as The Drill Hall.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Today, this is why I came.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >And today, this is what was in there:</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxgnt-G6U2-41ym_GZh6uZOfSnhgQpJjAcy_S0ZEfNfQVnSQtoaI2HcBcF7W04FP2l8CaiMz2fRC5Xi7a1hOhvz-ee68Qc4bN4usKEuvjTEoEio_1kwDnkBX3P6rhu_9-p0uxqOh7sGvI/s1600-h/Armory+Entrance.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxgnt-G6U2-41ym_GZh6uZOfSnhgQpJjAcy_S0ZEfNfQVnSQtoaI2HcBcF7W04FP2l8CaiMz2fRC5Xi7a1hOhvz-ee68Qc4bN4usKEuvjTEoEio_1kwDnkBX3P6rhu_9-p0uxqOh7sGvI/s320/Armory+Entrance.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642418392060082" border="0" /></a></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Brazilian artist Ernesto Neto’s <span style="font-style: italic;">anthropodino</span>.</span></p><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUnimqhnVDFKsXd7_DGo0nb9CdAU_7IbIC8jx-ym5B8HOGlHhr6vOmjsg63PFpjfL3RzaRhT74WmG8ZE4UzPBl59AQl0xZK22t1PWzp21MmJzlWhni5wkFWGO8IIIC1MAqFytRJUC3uU/s1600-h/Armory+Panorama.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUnimqhnVDFKsXd7_DGo0nb9CdAU_7IbIC8jx-ym5B8HOGlHhr6vOmjsg63PFpjfL3RzaRhT74WmG8ZE4UzPBl59AQl0xZK22t1PWzp21MmJzlWhni5wkFWGO8IIIC1MAqFytRJUC3uU/s400/Armory+Panorama.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339664913319099106" border="0" /></a></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">The work is the first commission by the Park Avenue Armory, which is currently attempting to revitalize its space and its mission by presenting visual and performing arts in a non-traditional setting.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">And what could be more non-traditional than the space the Armory calls, “part palace, part industrial shed”. </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">The work itself is Neto’s homage to the body and the visceral.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s tactile, pungent, and dreamy.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Also, one of the few installations I’ve seen where kids seem to outnumber the adults.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Neto encourages the viewer to step fully into the installation.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">To touch.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Feel.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Interact.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Smell.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Play.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Dance.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Spin.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And just lie down on the floor and look up.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC853TKG-AdShkThWcfcgGjGJel8SroHCtTNzBrBwnFnE-uPuCSr56u0HFCCyHB1qgDrp_Ut2Gff94K4YcLlKUW_9l2VgXXNWNJzcNx23nfYHtU3_mngIUl62eyv4e4iStnJt5eQrl7Ak/s1600-h/Armory+Light.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC853TKG-AdShkThWcfcgGjGJel8SroHCtTNzBrBwnFnE-uPuCSr56u0HFCCyHB1qgDrp_Ut2Gff94K4YcLlKUW_9l2VgXXNWNJzcNx23nfYHtU3_mngIUl62eyv4e4iStnJt5eQrl7Ak/s320/Armory+Light.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642228042079730" border="0" /></a></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">When I wasn’t simply roaming through the nets and tunnels, I took these pictures.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:130%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:130%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp-FZ9VCDJwonL3WnCAC0MGlL3wC0v6u9bVVX2qSGwZ_m4rZvRMF8V9ZGcgCEKj582E2hG8DK5nysLXVlDhO4RMIWj9iXuk4-w2h9sUm2XCuGmKU8UkIRAzCcuu9p02SvYK94Jslv9SmA/s1600-h/Armory+Cloves.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp-FZ9VCDJwonL3WnCAC0MGlL3wC0v6u9bVVX2qSGwZ_m4rZvRMF8V9ZGcgCEKj582E2hG8DK5nysLXVlDhO4RMIWj9iXuk4-w2h9sUm2XCuGmKU8UkIRAzCcuu9p02SvYK94Jslv9SmA/s320/Armory+Cloves.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339642045003813010" border="0" /></a></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >These hanging stalactites bounce all over the installation and are filled with different weights. The ones in this picture are filled with ground cloves. And this entire area smells like pumpkin pie.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC0-RflfjibF7kLDZdBB_AnQ6Beh2GqkoRJe-FIzzmibK6DQzx3Ro_R7io3YQXj_UyJRhzZOCK1gojwzcLtaWJCvy9Z8C86ZKdMcoTw23hpPAAbe6HuoiaaEyyR1Y7zaWztC6c6E_409c/s1600-h/Armory+Turmeric.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC0-RflfjibF7kLDZdBB_AnQ6Beh2GqkoRJe-FIzzmibK6DQzx3Ro_R7io3YQXj_UyJRhzZOCK1gojwzcLtaWJCvy9Z8C86ZKdMcoTw23hpPAAbe6HuoiaaEyyR1Y7zaWztC6c6E_409c/s320/Armory+Turmeric.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641807936063618" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >I got up close to this large one to smell it. Turmeric. Mmmm.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDLB9wqX7fbFaXIxFlIgrXiwH86KAry1sHkC39xmG7E2cWcwVb_3ztvcACRNcPQs4687baT0QTJh7Smpda0ZVDTRjCo7sQOEN4f5w7gxRahLB18cr_y4Is_JvaPgmqKqIGReB41BLAur4/s1600-h/Armory+Carpet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDLB9wqX7fbFaXIxFlIgrXiwH86KAry1sHkC39xmG7E2cWcwVb_3ztvcACRNcPQs4687baT0QTJh7Smpda0ZVDTRjCo7sQOEN4f5w7gxRahLB18cr_y4Is_JvaPgmqKqIGReB41BLAur4/s320/Armory+Carpet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641956007893730" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >All over the installation, visitors are encouraged to take their shoes off and feel the work. This handmade carpet was rubbery and squishy between my toes. It was built up into a small reclining area where you could even curl up in the polyamide and feel it against your skin.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >And this little alcove was incredibly popular. You can dive right in and swim around in the bay water-colored balls. Little children were small enough to disappear entirely and then pop up giggling like sillies. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsCyiipWjIrBoZwc4cQFCcQP7MV6gH2jGGm4H_aYpg6OK64OQM1f2SfX0NBtypPF32wutM146puRKI8DygmOvkeIjeOJ0t5J3YbhcqjkiAfByHfu0MJQ8JT9jQYxORafF57Lx7fgnfXY/s1600-h/Armory+Balls.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 279px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsCyiipWjIrBoZwc4cQFCcQP7MV6gH2jGGm4H_aYpg6OK64OQM1f2SfX0NBtypPF32wutM146puRKI8DygmOvkeIjeOJ0t5J3YbhcqjkiAfByHfu0MJQ8JT9jQYxORafF57Lx7fgnfXY/s320/Armory+Balls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641622612494930" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >And I was happy I wore my new yellow shoes. Happy I was jumping. Happy I was smelling cloves and putting my hands through nets.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiME1SlhGgqfwgg_gXSJ0KXhOMtpwVKdd207wbCtPGsCXp2xzWrnRiY38R5X0Vhyphenhyphen567JdhNRfWqBTKidbKjp9q3xfnGGNACpJbdoiChahFHHuLqmX6QoEB8ic8iZWInl1lMt863UIiJZ9U/s1600-h/Armory+Foot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiME1SlhGgqfwgg_gXSJ0KXhOMtpwVKdd207wbCtPGsCXp2xzWrnRiY38R5X0Vhyphenhyphen567JdhNRfWqBTKidbKjp9q3xfnGGNACpJbdoiChahFHHuLqmX6QoEB8ic8iZWInl1lMt863UIiJZ9U/s320/Armory+Foot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641704657558194" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Off to the side, was something I mentally referred to as The Quiet Room. A small little net cave equipped with a cushy pad and matching cushy face masks to completely relax in the moment. Children took little naps. Partners gave each other massages. And some just lie down flat on their backs to meditate on the wonder.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyOQAWDY9XdJbCRUyj_FVgXWReua__Xwm0AvujBGY8y2xIwUKxGJgBR6aiivfuCG0MitZX-vfISkqUAEYlM-AEoHPFmL7ApypwdofylF0V_1WnmMCzjx8bKygAnUlj9LG7GIfjAoZ6EM/s1600-h/Armory+Quiet+Room.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyOQAWDY9XdJbCRUyj_FVgXWReua__Xwm0AvujBGY8y2xIwUKxGJgBR6aiivfuCG0MitZX-vfISkqUAEYlM-AEoHPFmL7ApypwdofylF0V_1WnmMCzjx8bKygAnUlj9LG7GIfjAoZ6EM/s320/Armory+Quiet+Room.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641430135321330" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >The warm red tones had the ability to energize and calm at the same time. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the installation. Felt a part of it. As much a part of it as the hanging bag of turmeric. All of us belonged there. All of us made up a part of the exhibit. By touching, we made it ours. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIh55DFcIDQXR4kL3j4R5_Ol9flJ4tUMgDpY3DVzGJpuB6SJR68SCUY-VdA-kADGJRR4piBMTY1EkIDbGqIi0wdNDU-ParzugTCnRza1jmHpDB9GZFxkK3_bOIju9xqR8oXbUliO4Qulg/s1600-h/Armory+Red.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIh55DFcIDQXR4kL3j4R5_Ol9flJ4tUMgDpY3DVzGJpuB6SJR68SCUY-VdA-kADGJRR4piBMTY1EkIDbGqIi0wdNDU-ParzugTCnRza1jmHpDB9GZFxkK3_bOIju9xqR8oXbUliO4Qulg/s320/Armory+Red.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641360328831570" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >And by adding our bodies into the maze of tunnels and pendulous sacks---we are the art. We not only connect with the installation, we connect with our own bodies. We are our own living, breathing work of art. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq__2tB84t2fOJdfuo5vtO3DN9BQkG5pnmqPADHDXlg9gJE00mBRh-x6PBprX7vsMJiP04OOG5owd4-gfdil3BGN_pV9vPMPATeBwFKFh_dvYA8oNj09aLIVFLNVHoSiAHEtaPDjsICjc/s1600-h/Armory++Hanging+Things.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq__2tB84t2fOJdfuo5vtO3DN9BQkG5pnmqPADHDXlg9gJE00mBRh-x6PBprX7vsMJiP04OOG5owd4-gfdil3BGN_pV9vPMPATeBwFKFh_dvYA8oNj09aLIVFLNVHoSiAHEtaPDjsICjc/s320/Armory++Hanging+Things.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641271032622770" border="0" /></a>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >I fall in love with the space and fantasize about what I would put in there. And that sets by brain humming again. I know it's impossibly silly that I would ever have a work presented there---but Neto's work demands of us that we occasionally look up into the clouds. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Having our head in the clouds is just part of the beauty of it all.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw-JtqR4_SkY7hY3uXzy063ebVyq7RuXj6VIVnQb4JfHx9Oa6vWyCkSvDID1nawrmKm5535i3Z_oO5u_XVoKJgfMZA0r3gx9JMFPqLyxqnHigQ_c8r9cA1a8cZBW9b-zSUHJ8B9BfwooA/s1600-h/Armory+Sky.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw-JtqR4_SkY7hY3uXzy063ebVyq7RuXj6VIVnQb4JfHx9Oa6vWyCkSvDID1nawrmKm5535i3Z_oO5u_XVoKJgfMZA0r3gx9JMFPqLyxqnHigQ_c8r9cA1a8cZBW9b-zSUHJ8B9BfwooA/s320/Armory+Sky.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339641038710669218" border="0" /></a>
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<br />hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-13857423561763677082009-05-24T15:59:00.000-07:002009-05-25T13:17:12.023-07:00My Right Foot---Day 28: Jesus Is Making Your Pizza<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjyP3vqYcgqJiF663fAbWi4UQRCm60J4eygefCxmhghaLBTmiY6nhNWZBBXngH3S241z2OvhjTGnZvslzSDTXvTIPDODmey5BG0T6t3DF5eHF3J3duf9OC250rE4-ishm8OzH0GPQc8i4/s1600-h/Pizza+Dough.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjyP3vqYcgqJiF663fAbWi4UQRCm60J4eygefCxmhghaLBTmiY6nhNWZBBXngH3S241z2OvhjTGnZvslzSDTXvTIPDODmey5BG0T6t3DF5eHF3J3duf9OC250rE4-ishm8OzH0GPQc8i4/s320/Pizza+Dough.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339529284420759602" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Today is my blog-free day.<span style=""> </span>But I promised you at least a little something on Saturdays, so here it goes…</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Today I worked hard at the restaurant and then came home and had pizza and watched a movie.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">That’s it.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes you just have days like that.<span style=""> </span>Work.<span style=""> </span>Pizza.<span style=""> </span>Movie.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="arial">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Sure, I wrote a tiny bit on the train.<span style=""> </span>But that’s pretty much it.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Except for the pizza.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">This pizza was homemade.<span style=""> </span>While my Saturday night train gets me home too late to order pizza for delivery---it got me home early enough tonight to go ahead and make my own.<span style=""> </span>Mmmm.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I recommend that everyone make homemade pizza.<span style=""> </span>It’s simple to do, incredibly inexpensive, and WAY better than just about anything you can order in.<span style=""> </span>The whole process, from making the dough, letting it rise and then making and baking a pizza only takes about an hour---and WAY less if you make the dough in advance.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="arial" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="arial" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="arial" class="MsoNormal">My point?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The day after Easter, I had a night off.<span style=""> </span>With no pizza dough in my icebox, I decided to treat myself and get one delivered.<span style=""> </span>I don’t know why, but I chose Dominos.<span style=""> </span>Not exactly a <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state> thing to do---but I’d heard you could order online, and I decided to give it a try.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="arial" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="arial" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I quickly set up an account and placed my order.<span style=""> </span>Five minutes later, a screen popped up to show the progress of my order.<span style=""> </span>The screen said, “Jesus began custom-making your order at 7:13 pm.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I thought this was mighty nice of Jesus.<span style=""> </span>Seeing that he just rose from the dead and all the day before.<span style=""> </span>You’d think he’d have more important things to do.<span style=""> </span>But, I must say, pretty nice of God to send his only Son to make my pizza.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Fifteen minutes later, Jesus was still working on that pizza.<span style=""> </span>Either Jesus was really putting the love into my pie or he was The New Guy.<span style=""> </span>Suddenly, a different stage of the pizza-making process popped up on my screen.
<br /><!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<br /><!--[endif]--></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“Ramon, 39, is delivering your pizza.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Twenty minutes later, I was still waiting for the thirty-nine year-old Ramon.<span style=""> </span>I was hungry.<span style=""> </span>Why couldn’t I have gotten seventeen year-old Fabian?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Finally, there was a ring---not my doorbell, but my cell phone.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“Hello?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“Hola.<span style=""> </span>Dominos.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">This was bad.<span style=""> </span>You see, my building has two entrances.<span style=""> </span>One entrance has the buzzer.<span style=""> </span>The other does not.<span style=""> </span>I notated this in the Dominos online order form.<span style=""> </span>Told them to come to the other entrance.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Apparently, Ramon 39 did not receive this message.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“Go to the other entrance so I can buzz you in, “I explained.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“Que?”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">This was not good.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“La otra entrada,” I replied and I gave him the street and address.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">“Non ingles,” Ramon answered back.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Apparently, my Spanish sounds like English over the phone.<span style=""> </span>I repeated the instructions back more fully in Spanish.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Ramon 39 hung up.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I waited a few moments for my buzzer to ring.<span style=""> </span>Nothing.<span style=""> </span>Was I getting my pizza or not?<span style=""> </span>Bear in mind that at that moment, I was wearing a t-shirt, my pajama pants and no shoes.<span style=""> </span>I was now going to have to get dressed and go downstairs looking for Ramon and my pizza.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I threw on some clothes and shoes, got into the elevator and went downstairs.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Almost ten minutes after the confused phone call, Ramon 39 was still standing there outside holding my pizza with a smile on his face. <span style=""> </span>I started to think that Ramon 39 just might be a little “special”.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">This entire process, from order till actual delivery, took almost an hour.<span style=""> </span>And frankly, Jesus could’ve used a little extra sauce.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">So tonight, in under an hour, I made my own pizza.<span style=""> </span>It was delicious and with plenty of sauce.<span style=""> </span>Sure, I’m not The Savior---but at least my pizza doesn’t taste like a communion host.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Oh yeah---and here’s a picture of my stupid foot.</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihlEJaRliCinouzNDpEEJJrANU0FWXQprlkLIjmLLsRbPz5nB4e42Yr9Rk9_i9PUi66kY1Ayd1k1RJqyu01AGo6i8eBpask41AbZldAw_3JfMbIlqlzTqIutmJD3pUrz1KA6tI863RyZU/s1600-h/Foot+in+Mirror.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihlEJaRliCinouzNDpEEJJrANU0FWXQprlkLIjmLLsRbPz5nB4e42Yr9Rk9_i9PUi66kY1Ayd1k1RJqyu01AGo6i8eBpask41AbZldAw_3JfMbIlqlzTqIutmJD3pUrz1KA6tI863RyZU/s320/Foot+in+Mirror.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339529179781073442" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Happy Saturday!</p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-20968723229742705972009-05-24T00:49:00.000-07:002009-08-23T18:01:00.116-07:00My Right Foot---Day 27: The Procrastinating Perfectionist<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH9z3LI9yTPeQ8mVJBir8l7f-dGMsPEUgCT7-tw7AxJOKxhOFlgiqju96nTdAqnBD0INbufSEOj-QLr9xUvZ4UTYYMwCrjU3LVgeUcz82eNdZjbjzpo8TGPV-nGdkxEGCftSMXNt9cGmk/s1600-h/Foot+Bath.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH9z3LI9yTPeQ8mVJBir8l7f-dGMsPEUgCT7-tw7AxJOKxhOFlgiqju96nTdAqnBD0INbufSEOj-QLr9xUvZ4UTYYMwCrjU3LVgeUcz82eNdZjbjzpo8TGPV-nGdkxEGCftSMXNt9cGmk/s320/Foot+Bath.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339294898829467826" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">There’s an old saying that the one thing in life that’s fair is that everyone gets 24 hours in a day.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Of course, some of us are forced to spend a good hunk of those 24 hours doing things we’d rather not be doing.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But everyone has SOME free time.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Some might only get an hour while their young child takes a nap.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Others might get the whole twenty-four.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And you can’t get around sleep---trust me, I’ve tried.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">My senior year in high school, I had a paper due.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A big paper.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I guess I was spending too much time doing plays and music and not enough time working on that stupid paper.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I seem to remember this particular term paper being on, “Evelyn Waugh’s Use of Catholicism in </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Brideshead Revisited</span><span style="font-size:100%;">”.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Anywho, with little time to spare, I decided to try to pull an all-nighter.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’d never done it before, but had heard of other girls doing it in order to finish a project on time.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A friend of mine who’d done it many times suggested LOTS of caffeine.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Coffee, tea or soda---she said would do the trick.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">She also went with me to the drugstore to pick up a box of something called Vivarin.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--> <!--[endif]--></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">“It’s what truck drivers use when they have to drive a truck all night.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">The label said it was just caffeine.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">In pill form.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A ton of it.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I bought a box of Vivarin, a 2-liter bottle of Coke, and one of those giant chocolate candy bars. Back at home, I covered the kitchen table with note cards on Catholicism and British Prose and set to work.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">At 4:30 in the morning, my Mom woke-up and found me in the kitchen.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Paper still not done and a jittery mess.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">She spotted the package of Vivarin and hit the roof.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">“Are you doing drugs?!?!”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">No matter how much I tried to explain about caffeine and truck drivers, she was determined to believe I was using drugs.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“You stop taking that right now and go to bed.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I only WISHED I could go to bed.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The paper was still unfinished and between the Vivarin, soda and chocolate bar, it was unlikely I’d sleep for at least three more days.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My stomach was in knots.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Sure, I was awake---but I could barely keep my eyes open.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">The paper did not get finished that night.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">In fact, I was so ill from the caffeine and lack of sleep that I stayed home from school that day.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I finished my paper the next afternoon and turned it in the following day.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A day late.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Marked down half a grade.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oddly, my Mom did not confiscate the “drugs”.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The package of Vivarin went into my bedroom drawer.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">In college, I’d pull out one of the pills every now and then---always with the same effect.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Jittery and unable to either sleep or get anything done.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Papers were still occasionally late.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Once, for a Shakespeare class, I turned in a paper a day late with the following note attached, “Some are born late, others achieve lateness, and others have lateness thrust upon them.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Strangely, in all his years teaching Shakespeare, none of his students had been clever enough to paraphrase The Bard in this way.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">He was apparently quite charmed and put a note on my </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Titus Andronicus</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> paper saying, “Very clever!</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Just for that, I will count it as being on time.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I realized then that while we all get the same 24 hours---if you’re clever, you can occasionally buy yourself a little extra.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m not the most prompt gal in the world.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I try.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I really do.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But sometimes I just get distracted by a book or something in a shop window or an interesting person along the way.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I tend to live my life ten minutes behind the rest of the world.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Knowing this, I try little tricks to fool myself like setting my clocks a few minutes ahead.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Leaving a few minutes earlier for appointments.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And telling people I’ll be there around 5-ish.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">None of them work. I can't fool myself. If I even get so specific as to say between 5 and 5:30, I certainly won’t get there till at least 5:35.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Even things I am looking forward to---I will somehow manage to find something to distract me to make me at least 10 minutes late.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Some might say this is a fear of success.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I say it’s more like the Procrastinating Perfectionist that I’ve discovered I am.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I put things off not because I don’t want to do them---but because I want to do them perfectly.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">My papers were not late because I was lazy, but because I was an over-achiever---I wanted my papers to be the BEST papers anyone had ever seen.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And when I realized I wasn’t producing THE BEST paper on </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Titus Andronicus</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> the world had ever seen---well, I started to panic.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Then get depressed.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And then I would try to convince myself to just settle for getting it done.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But without the initial enthusiasm and the hope to be the best…</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Well, the task held little interest.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Who can get all excited about getting a “C”?</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I still occasionally have this problem.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ve had to learn how to accept a “C” in life for some things; and figure out which other things need an “A+++” to make me happy.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Today I have the film shoot---for this, I need that elusive “A+++”.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Consequently, I am late.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Partially not my fault.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My Metrocard wouldn’t scan and the man lazily shoved it under the Plexiglas window with a pre-paid envelope and muttered in a sing-song voice.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">“Unable to read.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Code 14.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Send it in.”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I miss the train.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But I was already running 10 minutes late.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I give myself a “D”.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Luckily, once I actually GET there, the first day of shooting goes well.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I don’t think I deserve an “A+++”; lateness does knock you down at least half a grade.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But I come out of there feeling I deserve at least an “A”.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">After the shoot, I walk down Central Park West for about thirty blocks just to think about my day.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And to think about my day tomorrow.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And the day after that.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The things I need to do.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The things I want to do.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">That huge mental list of our lives that piles up with every year.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The list probably started when I was fourteen and has grown steadily since.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Sure, I’ve pulled a few things off that Life List for various reasons.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Being a spy in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Russia</st1:place></st1:country-region> had to go.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Not only is there no longer an Iron Curtain---but spying isn’t as romantic as it seemed when I was fifteen.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Professional ballet dancer is now off the list.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">To be honest, I don’t think secret agent or ballerina would have worked out for me.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I would have had to be the best.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Greater than Mata Hari or Anna Pavlova.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And instead, I would have wound up being a file clerk in the CIA or a sales rep for Danskin.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I still follow world affairs and take my ballet classes for exercise----and that’s just fine with me. For these things, I gladly accept the "C". </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">But today, the one thing I wanted to excel at, I somehow managed to do.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I remembered a scene we were shooting and how I’d come up with an original way to do it.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">On the train, I pop open my camera to look at the footage.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The scene came out great.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’d gotten my shot---plus some.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Back at home, I decided to treat myself. I made pork ribs for the first time, rented a movie and soaked my Central Park W</span><span style="font-size:100%;">est weary feet in a spa bath. I may have been late---but today I was clever. And I’m not marking myself down for that.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >So if I'm late, it's a GOOD thing. It just means that I care.</span>
<br /></span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-76555945091656853912009-05-22T22:55:00.000-07:002009-05-22T23:32:33.945-07:00My Right Foot---Day 26: Creation Is Messy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqzNZyTlW14dVFtr4IInwp_IG4tDA2e2Jlj3FED9l-iN6JIWbK77j44FteC-PnQl4u_1fDFEbAFvxjWw94As2mLn1BO2vWlDBXrUOE5d3H_3gfA4GKB95BzmTAGh7XN6p7QL67_S7l10/s1600-h/Mess.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqzNZyTlW14dVFtr4IInwp_IG4tDA2e2Jlj3FED9l-iN6JIWbK77j44FteC-PnQl4u_1fDFEbAFvxjWw94As2mLn1BO2vWlDBXrUOE5d3H_3gfA4GKB95BzmTAGh7XN6p7QL67_S7l10/s320/Mess.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338896047533262418" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Nothing is messier than creativity.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Not even a two year-old could ransack my apartment the way I can just getting ready for a staged reading.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Papers.<span style=""> </span>Reference books.<span style=""> </span>Cups of tea.<span style=""> </span>Half-eaten bowls of microwave popcorn.<span style=""> </span>And all of this scattered amidst the usual daily mess of dirty clothes and Duane Reade bags.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">In general, I’m a pretty tidy person.<span style=""> </span>A place for everything and everything in its place and all that.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Unless I’m on deadline.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I was once on deadline while staying with a friend who had a maid.<span style=""> </span>That poor maid.<span style=""> </span>I pitched in to help her clean up my mess and even gave her an extra twenty dollars for the trouble.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And, after writing my first screenplay a few years ago, my apartment looked like this:</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNc24_m7JNuntGtTkuh8GI_rlQRAPZEDxO0H95u1t2nmxz_MlqzbKebUAyL3mryBhWXBiQG7DaZidSD_WLsu2zn8fjQH645FOpAEmDZnYa3Wckn0xqgzrO_Q1GvDMHCSiidx4UFHLE34A/s1600-h/Writing+Mess.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNc24_m7JNuntGtTkuh8GI_rlQRAPZEDxO0H95u1t2nmxz_MlqzbKebUAyL3mryBhWXBiQG7DaZidSD_WLsu2zn8fjQH645FOpAEmDZnYa3Wckn0xqgzrO_Q1GvDMHCSiidx4UFHLE34A/s320/Writing+Mess.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338894316064271938" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Happily, a few months later, I ditched the typewriter and FINALLY got a computer.<span style=""> </span>I’m a little slow on technology.<span style=""> </span>Up until a few years ago, I still had a rotary dial phone.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Tonight I get ready for the shoot tomorrow and my apartment is covered in bits of cardboard as I try to create a prop.<span style=""> </span>Elmer’s Glue Stick is all over my floor and my feet stick to the floorboards as I walk back and forth.<span style=""> </span>My desk is completely covered in paperwork.<span style=""> </span>Dishes are piled up in the sink.<span style=""> </span>Laundry scattered all over the place.<span style=""> </span>And, to be honest, I’m lucky I have such an understanding cat---though she’s starting to step dubiously through the cat box.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Despite the mess around me, my head is perfectly clear.<span style=""> </span>Solutions to script problems come easily.<span style=""> </span>I finally see the mistakes I made on page 17.<span style=""> </span>And how to solve them.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Tonight my apartment stays messy for fear of disturbing the mental clarity too soon. <span style=""> </span>It’s not that I don’t have a few minutes to clean---I just don’t want to disturb the lovely mess.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Well…except the cat box.<span style=""> </span>Poor Bessie shouldn’t suffer for art.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I find myself rapidly losing interest in this blog. Twenty-six days ago, the journey seemed to have a purpose. Today, I suddenly feel completely cured. It must be how people feel at a certain point during therapy.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I've never been in therapy. Not very New York of me, I know. And I'm sure I (and probably everyone I know) could use it from time to time. In general, I tend to get thru things the old-fashioned way. By talking with my friends and family. And writing. That helps. I've written my way out of pretty much every problem I've ever had. For me, it works. Helps to clarify the situation. By turning myself and my problems into a character---I can view it from the outside. From a writer's standpoint. How do I get my character out of THIS situation?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And I'm a pretty good writer. My writer's sense is probably more finely tuned than any psychologist out there---after all, don't all psychologists get into the field so they can figure out themselves?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My fear is that I would wind up with a therapist who wasn't as smart as me. Writing and filmmaking are essentially problem-solving mediums. And therapists are always touting that they don't solve your problems---you solve them yourself. So unless the therapist is a better writer than me...I think I can figure out my exit and the transition to the next scene all by myself, thank you.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I don't think there's any therapist out there who thinks outside of the box as much as me. I'm not saying there wouldn't be a point where their services would come in handy---but for a simple matter of Artistic Scurvy, well...I think I've cured myself.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Really. I think I'm done with my therapy. This has been great and it's been really nice knowing you, but I really think I'm cured.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">However, like penicillin, I suppose I should complete the full dose.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I said 30 Days and you're going to get 30 Days.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Apparently, it's in the contract. Missed appointment fee, or something like that. So I'll show up. Can't promise you much---being that I'm cured and all. But I'll be there. If that's what I'm supposed to do.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Please don't take it personally. You've been a great therapist and I'll recommend you to all my friends.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Just send me the bill. I'll try not to lose it in the mess on my desk.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But a mess is a good thing, right?
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p>hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-52204946087294245332009-05-22T19:02:00.001-07:002009-05-22T19:21:15.790-07:00My Right Foot---Day 25: Props and Costumes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD4mEt3ZFBxz7N652oVvbrVR4mlJqErRoU38ozKU4Rzz3oPK438RVIRrTjNaaRCVFI99CPbhhb3Qj4MY3in91n-O2QnCiG075Ny_U6O_XtxMoUaJhGsIfMG672xp5KKScjZMl7Nvx8lhE/s1600-h/Clown+Shoes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD4mEt3ZFBxz7N652oVvbrVR4mlJqErRoU38ozKU4Rzz3oPK438RVIRrTjNaaRCVFI99CPbhhb3Qj4MY3in91n-O2QnCiG075Ny_U6O_XtxMoUaJhGsIfMG672xp5KKScjZMl7Nvx8lhE/s320/Clown+Shoes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338834261369722962" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >There comes a time during every production where the subject of props and costumes can no longer be pushed aside.<span style=""> </span>In independent productions, most actors supply their own costumes.<span style=""> </span>And everyone pitches in on props.<span style=""> </span>Garages are scoured.<span style=""> </span>Basements looted.<span style=""> </span>Emails are sent out to friends, family and acquaintances begging the question, “Does anyone out there happen to have an old wheelchair or know anyone who might have one?”</p>
<br /><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Due to just this scenario—I now own a wheelchair.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I have no need for a wheelchair.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But I made the mistake of writing one into a sketch.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">We needed it, and we got it.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And now I have it.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A wheelchair.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Taking up much-needed closet space in my <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Manhattan</st1:place></st1:city> studio apartment.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But it’s hard to throw out a wheelchair.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You never know when you’ll want to write one into a sketch again.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">As a director, you tend to think that these little things “up your production value”.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But really, they’re just a pain in the ass to lug around.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">No one’s looking at my YouTube sketch and thinking, “Wow.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">She got her hands on a wheelchair.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">She must be good!”</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But actors LOVE props and costumes.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Some even build intimate relationships with them.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Ask if they can keep them after the run or the shoot.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Even directors like to hang onto a few little bits.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">These bits of props and costumes are buried all over my apartment.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Under my bed, three whole suitcases are filled with various costume pieces.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A pair of clown shoes.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A Native American dress with feathers designed for Siamese Twins.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A giant banana costume.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And a full-length dress I wore in a high school production of <span style="font-style: italic;">Camelot</span>.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Props are all over the place.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A set of fake vintage radio microphones.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A rubber chicken.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A prop gun.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Two white-tipped black vaudeville canes.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And more silly hats than you could shake a prop stick at.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">All of it absolutely worthless.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Sure, sometimes you come up with an idea and then you thank GOD you didn’t throw out that rubber chicken.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But mostly, it just takes up space.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">All these things are now a part of what I like to call “My Shit”.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">My Shit that I haul around with me from place to place.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">City to city.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Apartment to apartment.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t get me wrong.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">My apartment is FAR from junky.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I tend to prefer clean lines mixed with a <st1:place st="on">Bloomsbury</st1:place> touch.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">But none of this shit is going anywhere.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Not anytime soon.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s a curse.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Today I begin my VERY last-minute prop hunt.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Luckily, I’ve been in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state> long enough that I know where to go.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And I’ve built enough disposable crap that I can problem-solve with the best of them.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">On my way to work, I stop by a Midtown costume shop.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4tRo7rf4_vKC9ubLeSzpiZOXy25wOBd_avLcopLxA_uds-1pnPbAA_vCqaXnXJ8F022cfHukyGWwjoMa1FqmkFNSilf2HnGBbHasfR-F7lpWsfCEFCgOw0M78N_Rz8OTCuc3teTIvCdY/s1600-h/Pig's+Feet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4tRo7rf4_vKC9ubLeSzpiZOXy25wOBd_avLcopLxA_uds-1pnPbAA_vCqaXnXJ8F022cfHukyGWwjoMa1FqmkFNSilf2HnGBbHasfR-F7lpWsfCEFCgOw0M78N_Rz8OTCuc3teTIvCdY/s320/Pig's+Feet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338836824683887970" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Nothing will jump-start the sketch-writing part of my brain as quickly as a visit to a theatrical shop.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">This one’s small, but I come out of there just crawling with ideas for the shows I’ll be writing this summer.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">For me, it’s like Red Bull for the Right Brain.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">This afternoon, I collect empty liquor and wine bottle from work to fill with colored water and tea.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I come up with a workable plan to redecorate a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket to get rid of the logo.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I gather a silver platter, ice bucket, funnel, and make a list of the prop food I’ll have to buy the morning of the shoot.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I also stop at the liquor store to pick up three bottles of cheap prop wine.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I decide on red wine with a twist top---not as easy as you would think to find at a decent price.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I make notes, design a slapdash tablescape, view more test footage, and try to figure out how I’m going to get it all from here to there.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s frenetic, and crazy.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Lightening bolt energy.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The kind that could give you a heart attack or make a monster come alive.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Only when the props and costumes come out does it truly become real.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">The irony of illusion.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">That moment just before the beginning.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">When anything can happen on the first day of shooting or opening night.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">When fake, fantasy, and delusion all come together for one last time.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Today, I remember a night a few years ago.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The night before an opening.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I was sitting up till the wee hours sewing the back half of a horse’s costume by hand.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">At 5:30 in the morning, I thought I was going to die.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">And I still had the front half to go.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">What kept me going was the fantasy that this little show was going to be THE show.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The one that would get me out of waiting tables and transport me to another world.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It’s what kept my fingers stitching till the sun came up and I was practically blind searching for the eye in the needle.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Artists have more than enough reality to deal with.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You’ll excuse us if we tend to get a little silly playing with our props.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Our toys.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Surely you can remember what it was like to fantasize over a Tonka truck or a Barbie doll.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Or even a plastic animal farm in the dirt.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">We’re fantasizing, too.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Fantasizing of how, one day, that animal farm just might become real.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">All we’re really saying to our audience is, “Wanna come outside and play?”</span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-50375895034952958812009-05-21T00:52:00.001-07:002009-05-21T02:44:33.139-07:00My Right Foot---Day 24: Too Sexy For My Foot<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4iEGZ0YbZ-lZww8XHdpAiQFmOcV5R6aT5YWbrT1zg_0n0FQ_C0lh2AEQ-bio3NR8S_5BLb0wQGp3CFVKE4MajedXq6WZ9yW9nbhOjgc4eXSlOvHByc1W4uCIHlP531LWBk1rJ21Ci2Ow/s1600-h/Too+Sexy+For+My+Foot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 278px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4iEGZ0YbZ-lZww8XHdpAiQFmOcV5R6aT5YWbrT1zg_0n0FQ_C0lh2AEQ-bio3NR8S_5BLb0wQGp3CFVKE4MajedXq6WZ9yW9nbhOjgc4eXSlOvHByc1W4uCIHlP531LWBk1rJ21Ci2Ow/s320/Too+Sexy+For+My+Foot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338182190854232130" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Too sexy for this blog.<span style=""> </span>Too sexy for my shoes.<span style=""> </span>No longer need this muse.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Too sexy.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Right Said Foot is pretty darned busy these days.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">And busy doing what you love to do is definitely sexy.<span style=""> </span>During these past few weeks, despite all my complaining and moaning and introspection and haberdashery---okay, no haberdashery, I just like that word and never get the chance to use it---but somehow, I accidentally laid the groundwork for about six different projects.<span style=""> </span>All of them exciting.<span style=""> </span>All of them highly promising.<span style=""> </span>And all of them need to be done yesterday.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Somehow, getting things done never seemed easier.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">It’s like waiting tables.<span style=""> </span>As any waitress will tell you, you actually give better service when you’re busy.<span style=""> </span>On a slow day, you can actually forget that you HAVE tables.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Like today.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">More than once today, I actually forgot I had tables.<span style=""> </span>When nothing’s going on, your mind starts to wander.<span style=""> </span>I was in the kitchen, happily whipping up some homemade pickles when I suddenly remembered, “Oh, I have a table out there.<span style=""> Table 16. </span>I wonder if they need anything.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It’s not that I was ignoring them or lazily chatting away on my cell phone.<span style=""> </span>I was just so bored, I forgot there was something actually going on out there.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">But give me ten tables on a busy Saturday night and watch we work it, baby.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It's like they say, "If you need something done, give it to a busy person."
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">It's the same way with artists.<span style=""> </span>Particularly actors.<span style=""> </span>If they’re not working in their field, they don’t know what to do with themselves.<span style=""> They get depressed and start to wonder what they're doing with their lives. They become Table 16. They forget about themselves.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Most people with 9-to-5 jobs don’t understand this.<span style=""> </span>Most of them LOVE to get away from their jobs.<span style=""> </span>Their daily grind.<span style=""> </span>I’ve done those jobs.<span style=""> </span>Answering phones till you wanted to slit your wrist in a warm bath.<span style=""> </span>Sitting there typing boring letters just trying to keep yourself awake till your next coffee break.<span style=""> </span>Looking forward to Tuesdays because that’s the day the distributer brings in free donuts.<span style=""> </span>Mmmm---donuts.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">How do you people do those jobs?<span style=""> </span>Day in and day out?<span style=""> </span>With nothing to look forward to except donuts on Tuesdays?<span style=""> </span>Sure, I hate my job---but I hate your job even more.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Nine-to-five types often think of artists types as lazy.<span style=""> </span>Too lazy to get a REAL job.<span style=""> </span>But frankly, most artist-types are the least lazy people I know.<span style=""> </span>Not only do they work full-time meaningless waitress, retail and temp jobs---but they spend a huge portion of their free time working on an entirely separate career.<span style=""> </span>It's like having TWO full-time jobs. They even juggle relationships, friends and family into the mix.<span style=""> </span>Not to mention laundry.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">When struggling writers go home after an eight-hour shift, they don’t curl up on the sofa and watch prime-time TV for three hours.<span style=""> </span>They write.<span style=""> </span>And if you think writing isn’t physically exhausting, I suggest you try sitting down in front of a computer for five hours and begin a novel.<span style=""> </span>You’ll see what I mean.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I can’t think of many artist-types who started out immediately getting paid for their work.<span style=""> </span>There was Mozart.<span style=""> </span>Shirley Temple.<span style=""> </span>And a handful of other child performers. But that's about it.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Artists go thru a long (sometimes VERY long) period where they have to learn and grow.<span style=""> </span>In addition to the studies every other kid is subjected to---they’re studying to become the best at whatever it is that they do.<span style=""> </span>When other kids are out playing, they’re sitting in front of the piano.<span style=""> </span>When their college friends are going to parties, they’re rehearsing a play.<span style=""> </span>When their pals from work are all going down to the corner bar for Happy Hour and darts---they’re back home working on their screenplay.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then, we have to try to get someone to notice what we do. That's almost a THIRD job.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">It’s not that we don’t want to be out with friends---we’d just rather be cutting our shitty job to do it and not our REAL job---our art.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Well, maybe it’s not art.<span style=""> </span>Maybe it’s just polka dancing.<span style=""> </span>Or quilting.<span style=""> </span>Or singing in a Top Forty Band.<span style=""> </span>But it’s what we really want to do.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">For years, we love it so much, we do it for free.<span style=""> </span>How many of you 9-to-5ers would go in and do taxes for free on your off-day?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Nine-to-fivers can be cruel to waitstaff, retail people and the temp in their office.<span style=""> </span>At best, they pity them.<span style=""> </span>At worst, they take out their frustrations on the poor lowly, unskilled worker.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But, as one of those lowly, unskilled workers, I’m here to tell you a few things---we DO have skills.<span style=""> </span>Skills you only wish you had.<span style=""> </span>And we work WAY harder than you.<span style=""> </span>You wish you had our work ethic.<span style=""> </span>And most of us are WAY more intelligent than you.<span style=""> </span>And FAR nicer---that’s why we don’t bother to correct you when you order a glass of Merlot and pronounce the “T”.<span style=""> </span>We also tend to have more friends, better relationships, more happiness, and WAY more fun!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">We also have more hope for the future than you will ever have.<span style=""> </span>Unlike you, we haven’t given up.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Most of you just dream of winning the lottery.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"> Good luck with that.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">We pity you.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And if you leave us a shitty tip, we belittle you behind your back, as well.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Tonight, people were all pretty darned nice.<span style=""> </span>That is, the few that we had.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">But tonight, I waited on a couple of guys who sat around discussing the goings-on back at the office.<span style=""> </span>I don’t know what they did for a living.<span style=""> </span>But it sounded pretty boring.<span style=""> </span>If I had to take a guess, I’d say Car Insurance.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Yawn.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">How do you wind up in car insurance?<span style=""> </span>My god.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">None of them seemed happy.<span style=""> </span>None of them even smiled.<span style=""> </span>And all of them looked waxy and dead.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But despite the fact that they were only the second table I’d had in two hours---I was happy.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“How do you say ‘happy’ in Bangla?”<span style=""> </span>I asked one of the busboys.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“Shu-ki,” he replied.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">At my job, I was learning Bengali.<span style=""> </span>I was making homemade pickles.<span style=""> </span>I was discussing the latest exhibit at The Armory with the bartender.<span style=""> </span>I was tap dancing with my manager.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">After work, I was going to a theatre/writers group.<span style=""> </span>And when I got home that night, I was going to gather my props for a film shoot on Friday.<span style=""> </span>I was going to email the producer for my sketch show next month.<span style=""> </span>I was going to look over some footage I’d shot.<span style=""> </span>I was going to write my blog.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And I was waiting to hear about some interesting things going on that just might get me out of the restaurant business for good.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I actually have a decent shot at winning my lottery.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I wonder what the car insurance guys did after they left?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Actually, I don’t.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It was probably pretty boring.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >And I’m too sexy. I'm busy working.</span>
<br /></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-37559486367110841722009-05-18T23:26:00.001-07:002009-05-18T23:38:05.429-07:00My Right Foot---Day 23: Creative Cures on a Lovely Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd5ApN_KVf-f7PoLwH65ntakfdvoRF5mFyq_qGfRjJmi7Xju8bI8fgzIFTKPawBA9m0zqa4KjOn30mg6uHuTas_L4rKWtkBhmpYTPWtxkppQ1HVqz9o4zbgPL7_k6VmTBK8tGdHAi6bJQ/s1600-h/Creative+Cures.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd5ApN_KVf-f7PoLwH65ntakfdvoRF5mFyq_qGfRjJmi7Xju8bI8fgzIFTKPawBA9m0zqa4KjOn30mg6uHuTas_L4rKWtkBhmpYTPWtxkppQ1HVqz9o4zbgPL7_k6VmTBK8tGdHAi6bJQ/s320/Creative+Cures.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337417888968620386" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’m a Googler.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Sometimes I sit around pondering things and wondering why.<span style=""> </span>So I Google.<span style=""> </span>Just type in the question to get an answer.<span style=""> </span>Though no matter how much I Google, I don’t think I will ever know exactly why banks feel the responsibility to give everyone the time and temperature.<span style=""> </span>Why do banks all have brightly-lit, jumbo digital clocks adorning their façade?<span style=""> </span>Why?<span style=""> </span>I don’t know.<span style=""> </span>I’ve even asked.<span style=""> </span>The tellers think I’m crazy.<span style=""> </span>But they don’t know either.<span style=""> </span>Not even Google knows.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It’s one of the great mysteries of the world.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Sure, I could have gone to a doctor for my allergies.<span style=""> </span>The post-nasal drip that was keeping me awake coughing all thru the night.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But doctors just want to give you a pill.<span style=""> </span>A pill that takes care of the symptoms but doesn’t treat the cause.<span style=""> </span>And a pill that often causes more problems than it solves.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Before I went crying to the doctor for a pill (or became one of those Inhaler People---egads!), I decided to visit Dr. Google.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Well, decide isn’t exactly the word.<span style=""> </span>It was 6:00 am Saturday morning and I’d been up coughing all night.<span style=""> </span>I HAD to get some sleep.<span style=""> </span>I crawled out of bed, went to the computer and typed in, “How do I stop coughing?”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Unlike the bank thing, there were TONS of suggestions on how to stop coughing.<span style=""> </span>I spent about an hour pouring thru various home remedies, medical sites, and reading the usual tips like drink hot water with honey.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">As if I hadn’t already tried that one!<span style=""> </span>If I drank any more honey, I was going to start attracting bees.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">In any case, I looked at people’s responses to these suggestions and picked three that seemed promising.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">First, what I discovered is that coughing is good.<span style=""> </span>It means that your body is trying to get something it’s rejecting out of your system.<span style=""> </span>All good.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But if you’re coughing and coughing and can’t stop---well, that dry cough means that your body is not producing enough mucus to clear that stuff outta there.<span style=""> </span>And, an inability to produce mucus could mean that you’re deficient in Vitamin B.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The second tip that seemed to work was drinking a shot of apple cider vinegar in a glass of water.<span style=""> </span>An apple cider tonic.<span style=""> </span>Apparently, a healthful thing to do everyday.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The third tip was kind of strange, but got glowing reviews:<span style=""> </span>Put Vick’s Vapor Rub on the bottom of your feet---yes, your feet!<span style=""> </span>And then put a pair of socks over that right before you go to bed.<span style=""> </span>Sounds weird, but people swore by it.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Luckily, I had all three “medicines” in my house.<span style=""> </span>Within an hour, I took two Vitamin B tablets, drank two Apple Cider Vinegar Tonics, and socked up my feet in a Vick’s Vapor Rub wrap.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Within half an hour, I was sound asleep.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t wake up coughing once.<span style=""> </span>And I woke up feeling an amazing calm sensation in my chest and throat.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">That day, I only had two coughing fits (as opposed to about a dozen the previous day).<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">The next day, I had none.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A creative cure.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I love creative cures.<span style=""> </span>They’re so much more interesting than just taking an aspirin.<span style=""> </span>In a way, I suppose this 30 day thing is an attempt at a creative cure.<span style=""> </span>And as much as I complain about all this blogging and thinking and taking pictures of my stupid foot---well, something seems to be working.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Finally.<span style=""> </span>On Day 23.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Today I woke up energized.<span style=""> </span>Ran all my otherwise detested errands.<span style=""> </span>Happily paid some bills I’d been putting off.<span style=""> </span>And had a smile on my face as I cleaned up the hairball the cat left on the floor this afternoon.<span style=""> </span>I eagerly pulled out my writing (a new sketch idea I came up with just yesterday for the show next month) and got down to business on the train.<span style=""> </span>I went to the bank to make a deposit (at exactly 3:55 pm, thank you Chase Manhattan) and instead of moaning at the long line at the bank, happily hummed along to the Perry Como song playing on the Muzak, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_DxisqOMR4">“It’s A Lovely Day Today”.<span style=""> </span></a></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I wasn’t exactly looking forward to a long night at work---but I came up with a creative cure for that, too…</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">New Work Shoes!</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXxeu8RT_SHg29wt0SU7lQb-_48R_Gg0NaqITywW032ahRuigtYtXZPC4zIVw_2FPBwtig5hRwG4ufCTq29-W_q-IjpVj85xPkoxUw28LPkJ3pW9R3uIgwDcdHGCfoGjaxVVkpfXku6U/s1600-h/New+Work+Shoes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXxeu8RT_SHg29wt0SU7lQb-_48R_Gg0NaqITywW032ahRuigtYtXZPC4zIVw_2FPBwtig5hRwG4ufCTq29-W_q-IjpVj85xPkoxUw28LPkJ3pW9R3uIgwDcdHGCfoGjaxVVkpfXku6U/s320/New+Work+Shoes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337417795238761090" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">There’s nothing like a new pair of shoes to put a spring in my step.<span style=""> </span>Even at work.<span style=""> </span>I was bouncing---literally, bouncing and tapping and jumping on my toes to show off my spiffy new shoes.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I also bought a second pair in a different color---oh, you’ll be seeing those babies!<span style=""> </span>Don’t you worry your pretty little head.<span style=""> </span>They’re very jazzy, indeed.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I didn’t even mind writing this blog.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">What gives?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I don’t know why Vick’s Vapor Rub on the soles of your feet cures a cough.<span style=""> </span>I don’t know why banks insist on giving you the time.<span style=""> </span>And I don’t know why this blog has reversed my artistic lobotomy.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I wish I could Google it and find out why.<span style=""> </span>But some things, no one really knows.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It’s a Lovely Day Today.</p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-76129171793832604462009-05-18T02:02:00.001-07:002009-05-20T02:01:37.343-07:00My Right Foot---Day 22: Millie's Pierogi<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjWSnsT1ewLvhizSSG64NlGSIYMjjp2SZzUZT7iHJtHqCu060rbouhYERHf4GpTMrDsZhn7gyY8wujQO-DiWTyyPHS26x86Ors3TATKNoePAIKW05dZCf4EJOefxUYx_V3D38JVJIEiTQ/s1600-h/Street+Fair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjWSnsT1ewLvhizSSG64NlGSIYMjjp2SZzUZT7iHJtHqCu060rbouhYERHf4GpTMrDsZhn7gyY8wujQO-DiWTyyPHS26x86Ors3TATKNoePAIKW05dZCf4EJOefxUYx_V3D38JVJIEiTQ/s400/Street+Fair.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337087790065557346" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="Street"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="address"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >The Annual Ninth Avenue Street Fair is a terrific, sloppy mess of food, wares, games of chance, oddities, music and the bizarre characters who live in Hell’s Kitchen.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I go every year.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I used to go simply because the fair (which always occurs the weekend after Mother’s Day) was just down at the corner in my old neighborhood.<span style=""> </span>With tastings of every sort of food available for a dollar or two a pop, I could easily go down to the corner, walk around for a few blocks and have an amazing dinner for under ten dollars.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">This year, I’m living further uptown.<span style=""> </span>But today I hop on the A Train in search of my favorite booth at the Fair.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Millie’s Pierogi.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ps-hltYOZBlHGpVHCzi7ZKtBAFZ0di_bmGcHxZXE54j5XPflWe7dlJALYbj81mgRdf1f50E7Hp15LwDY3CJ2G6lbKZAr0ix5VT5Bh-x0ZAHwU96xf0W_hnxPTayfHBkr0mUX_Fjvo1E/s1600-h/Millie's+Pierogi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ps-hltYOZBlHGpVHCzi7ZKtBAFZ0di_bmGcHxZXE54j5XPflWe7dlJALYbj81mgRdf1f50E7Hp15LwDY3CJ2G6lbKZAr0ix5VT5Bh-x0ZAHwU96xf0W_hnxPTayfHBkr0mUX_Fjvo1E/s400/Millie's+Pierogi.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337087549501445122" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">And yes, pierogi is the plural.<span style=""> </span>I know this.<span style=""> </span>Always write it this way.<span style=""> </span>But I usually say “pierogis” with an “s” in conversation because otherwise people think I’m a grammar snob.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">These pierogi are THE BEST I’ve ever had.<span style=""> </span>Not only did I eat a plate of the potato and kielbasa pierogi---but I even bought two dozen of their frozen pierogi (potato kielbasa AND cabbage) to take home and store in my freezer.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Millie's Pierogi comes around once a year and I'm there. Always. Little Polish girl that I will always be. But the local restaurants get involved, as well.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Ninth Avenue</st1:address></st1:street> establishments set up an outdoor seating area and offer low-cost samples from their menus---giving weary fair goers a place to relax and eat sitting down; and local restaurateurs the opportunity to make a few bucks and get a chance to make some new regular customers who will visit at other times during the year.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">New Yorkers seem particularly adept at these simple forms of promotion and money-making.<span style=""> </span>You can be walking down the street and you’ll think to yourself, “Boy, I wish I had a slice a pizza right about now.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And just as you’re thinking it, BOOM!---a pizza joint will be right across the street.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“Damn, I just ran out of cigarettes.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And BAM!---there’s a bodega right on the corner.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A comic I knew used to do a joke about the African guys who sell umbrellas on the street.<span style=""> </span>He used to explain to the out-of-town audience that, in NYC, before the first raindrop hits the grown, there’ll be an African guy on the corner going, "Umbrella umbrella umbrella umbrella…."</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">They see a potential need and they fill it.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">So where’s the street corner for writers?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Not the literal one.<span style=""> </span>I’m quite aware of the fact that no one in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Manhattan</st1:place></st1:city> is walking down the street thinking, “Gee, I wish I had a good short story right about now.”<span style=""> </span>And just then, BAM!---there’s a guy with a beard and flannel shirt standing next to a newspaper rack full of manuscripts for two dollars a pop.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I’m talking about the figurative street corner.<span style=""> </span>Where are those people looking for new material---and how do you set up your metaphorical stand on an allegorical good corner?
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Me, I just write.<span style=""> </span>And keep writing and writing.<span style=""> </span>Hoping to get better and better.<span style=""> </span>And hoping that someday someone will notice.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">The closest thing we have is the query letter.<span style=""> </span>That letter you carefully compose offering agents an enticing sample of your work, hoping they’ll come back wanting more.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Gosh, they're painful. And seemingly useless. Even the writing books point out this sad fact.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Really, a query letter is like setting up a booth at the fair offering the recipe to your cookies without being allowed to give out any samples.<span style=""> </span>And, not only that, but Mrs. Fields set up a booth right next to yours.<span style=""> </span>Damn that popular and successful Mrs. Fields and her delicious cookies! </p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Speaking of popular and successful…</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I’d heard this book was one of the best on writing.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRlhP1oiYsCa_TakdtAtyUjRwlE5EwH7QU_1znBaEt6rqoH6JsmZiSjspQP2EbCYRliWFniAV16Q7Btl0hpkfY8ICIkXeijhdK9V-YwcS1NAYd2pW-vlBoMeQEPvhc3c8MGOTIBIUe1uE/s1600-h/Stephen+King.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 384px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRlhP1oiYsCa_TakdtAtyUjRwlE5EwH7QU_1znBaEt6rqoH6JsmZiSjspQP2EbCYRliWFniAV16Q7Btl0hpkfY8ICIkXeijhdK9V-YwcS1NAYd2pW-vlBoMeQEPvhc3c8MGOTIBIUe1uE/s400/Stephen+King.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337087296658944002" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;">On Writing</span> by Stephen King.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I’ve read a few of his books. His writing’s not bad.<span style=""> </span>Not too shabby at all. Particularly for a writer of popular fiction. Occasionally, I even spot his delicious sense of humor on the page.<span style=""> </span>But. to be honest---I just get too scared. As a kid, my aunt and uncle once took me to a retro drive-in night and I remember screaming and hiding my eyes all thru <span style="font-style: italic;">The Night of the Living Dead</span>. And that was in black and white! And, if I'm being perfectly honest here---the scariest movie I've EVER seen is a little something from the early 1930s called <span style="font-style: italic;">Freaks</span>. I had to turn off the VCR and hide the box under a throw rug till I got it back to the video store. Yeah, it was the pinheads who freaked me out---and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Despite my fears, I respect the hell out of ANY writer who’s managed to eek out a living in this business---particularly one who's been so wildly successful.<span style=""> </span><span style="font-style: italic;">On Writing</span> has been touted over and over by friends and reviewers on Amazon.com as being one of the best on the craft of writing---even if you’re not a fan of his particular style. After all, the guy makes a decent living. He must know something.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">So, last week, on a Barnes & Noble trip, I picked up a copy.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I’m not that far into it.<span style=""> </span>About 40 pages or so.<span style=""> </span>What’s striking me so far is the fact that, as a kid, he queried.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">He sent query letters and submissions to just about any magazine that would fit his work.<span style=""> </span>Over and over again.<span style=""> </span>He pounded a nail into his wall and started poking the rejection letters onto it as they came in.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">He got a lot of rejections.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">A lot.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I've saved my rejection letters, too. I could wallpaper my kitchen with the stack I've got laying around.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Later in life, after Stephen King was successful, those same publications actually printed stories (albeit re-written stories) they'd rejected years earlier. Even King admits, it has a lot to do with the name.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Of course, it’s much easier to get rejected when you’re a kid.<span style=""> </span>You instinctively know that you’re learning.<span style=""> </span>That it’s part of the process.<span style=""> </span>And submitting, at fourteen, is FUN!<span style=""> </span>It makes you feel grown-up.<span style=""> </span>Professional.<span style=""> </span>A real go-getter.<span style=""> </span>Just the sheer act that you’re creating all on your own and submitting all by yourself makes your parents sit up and say, “Wow, my kid is really something.<span style=""> </span>He’s going to be something someday.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">At that age, you’re bold.<span style=""> </span>Risk-taking.<span style=""> </span>In fact, you don’t even perceive things as risks.<span style=""> </span>That’s why the armed services go into high schools to recruit.<span style=""> </span>They know that twenty-five year-old guys know better than to risk death, amputation and serious injury for wars and countries they know nothing about.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">When I was sixteen, one of my best friends, Joanna, and I decided we were going to audition for the Muny Opera.<span style=""> </span>The Muny is not Opera in the traditional sense.<span style=""> </span>The <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">St. Louis</st1:place></st1:city> landmark outdoor theatre is open in the summertime and offers new shows straight from Broadway or the summer stock tours on a weekly basis.<span style=""> </span>Mostly musicals.<span style=""> </span>Stars always take the leading roles.<span style=""> </span>But the minor characters and the chorus are recruited from the local talent pool.<span style=""> </span>Performing at the Muny was a union job.<span style=""> </span>The big time.<span style=""> </span>And one of our friends (who was only a year older than me) had been a dancer there.<span style=""> </span>We saw the ad for the annual auditions in the daily paper and decided to give it a whirl.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">We showed up in our t-shirts and sweat pants with our character shoes in our bags.<span style=""> </span>No resumes.<span style=""> </span>We didn’t even know what a resume was.<span style=""> </span>But we’d prepared a song.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">We were sixteen.<span style=""> </span>We had nothing to lose.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I think I sang “Honey Bun” from <span style="font-style: italic;">South Pacific</span>.<span style=""> </span>Then we had to line up and do a combination of steps.<span style=""> </span>
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Oh, we were awful.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Well, we were pretty darned good at our high school.<span style=""> </span>There, we were something.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But here at the Muny, we were so obviously just a couple of dumb kids.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">To this day, I thank the directors who took the time to give us a shot---just like anyone else.<span style=""> </span>They didn’t interrupt our numbers with, “Thank you.<span style=""> </span>That will be all.”<span style=""> </span>And they let us try and try and try to get the combination down.<span style=""> </span>And no one snickered when we finally had to fall back on that old tap trick we’d just learned a few weeks earlier----if you don’t know the steps, just keep moving your feet and smile.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">By the end of the audition, we were giddy.<span style=""> </span>Of course, we knew we’d never get called back.<span style=""> </span>Neither one of us was waiting by our phones.<span style=""> </span>But we flew out of there on a cloud.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“We did it!<span style=""> </span>We did it!” we screamed and hugged each other.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">We auditioned for THE MUNY OPERA!!!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">That was sure something!<span style=""> </span>Boy, was everyone we knew going to be jealous.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">As I come home tonight to craft some query letters, I realize that this is what has been missing.<span style=""> </span>That crazy, sixteen year-old spirit that doesn’t care about making an ass out of herself.<span style=""> </span>That doesn’t even care if I get a call back.<span style=""> </span>That shoots for the biggest place in town and damn the torpedoes.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I decide to do it. Just to say I did.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Tonight, I’m just looking for an opportunity to keep moving my feet and smile.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFFm_eBAtlz0OovEUfQCTFa3S6FY43pmypWJYv09UFKWRX-UJJUnSu5Xvd7j4dCu65hfc3jPxL-WCUJAcc464CvkFA9j-xCBUY9bnmv_W65Nhx_405JfZygK2U7nHXI3EEKl2l7NU0xrc/s1600-h/Corn+and+Shoe.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFFm_eBAtlz0OovEUfQCTFa3S6FY43pmypWJYv09UFKWRX-UJJUnSu5Xvd7j4dCu65hfc3jPxL-WCUJAcc464CvkFA9j-xCBUY9bnmv_W65Nhx_405JfZygK2U7nHXI3EEKl2l7NU0xrc/s400/Corn+and+Shoe.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337087016602813970" border="0" /></a><span style=""> </span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-57083715236207697032009-05-17T23:01:00.000-07:002009-05-17T23:15:02.554-07:00My Right Foot---Day 21: Writing an Autobiography Must Suck<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiso08zcRfHp1OB_qT0Hhs-_J2CB2IKivvaJZ3c7vNRZ2OpdcnbJt7wjM4F3kZbna6D07KNHk4IEvEdCWbMKJhheFtwsGogfrWhOSpx3TYzrZWl9gFZlPf4nTvPaigSjHFVcKPfNb0js-k/s1600-h/Bach+Sock.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiso08zcRfHp1OB_qT0Hhs-_J2CB2IKivvaJZ3c7vNRZ2OpdcnbJt7wjM4F3kZbna6D07KNHk4IEvEdCWbMKJhheFtwsGogfrWhOSpx3TYzrZWl9gFZlPf4nTvPaigSjHFVcKPfNb0js-k/s400/Bach+Sock.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337042681685701378" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Saturday is my longest night at work.<span style=""> </span>I now look forward to it because it’s the one day of the week that I don’t have to write this stupid blog.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Yeah, it’s getting that bad.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It’s difficult to find the time to work full-time, do interesting things to write about----AND write about it everyday for 30 days.<span style=""> </span>You just try it and see how you hold up.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And I’m so sick of writing about ME!<span style=""> </span>What I’m thinking and feeling.<span style=""> </span>Eugh.<span style=""> </span>I’m like a guy in a bad relationship---stuck with ME!<span style=""> </span>What are you thinking about now?<span style=""> </span>How about now?<span style=""> </span>How about now?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And I’m sick of looking at my goddamed foot!!!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Tonight I put on my Bach socks because it was all I could do to still get that stupid picture of my foot and try to take the focus off ME!!!</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I want to break up with myself.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I can’t stand me anymore.<span style=""> </span>I’m sick of my own thoughts.<span style=""> </span>I was sick of myself last week, which was one of the reasons I decided to take some time to write about some inspiring people for the past few days.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But it’s still too much me.<span style=""> </span>Still too interior.<span style=""> </span>Still no fun.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Honestly, I started this to encourage myself to get out there and do things and take risks and explore.<span style=""> </span>But I find that I’m doing more writing than exploring.<span style=""> </span>The writing part just sucks up most of my time.<span style=""> </span>What do you think I’m made of?<span style=""> </span>Hours in the day?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But I’ve kept doing it.<span style=""> </span>Probably because I’m stubborn.<span style=""> </span>And apparently, it’s something I need to do.<span style=""> </span>For whatever reason.<span style=""> </span>Otherwise, I would have quit after Day Two.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">This sucks.<span style=""> </span>I can’t wait till it’s over.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">But I promised you SOMETHING on Saturdays.<span style=""> </span>And at the very moment I finished yesterday’s blog, I began stressing over this one.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">What bit of creativity do I have for you today?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Well, as I’m sick of talking about myself, I actually find it intriguing that some people LOVE to talk about themselves---to the point of delusion.<span style=""> </span>Crazy, insane, hysterically funny delusion.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And yes---this is real.<span style=""> </span>Trust me.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Really----just trust me.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Just click on the magic link below…</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpVHjH69Y1Y">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpVHjH69Y1Y</a></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-2305173900371081482009-05-15T19:26:00.001-07:002009-05-16T02:04:13.254-07:00My Right Foot---Day 20: I Wanna Go Outside and Play<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwMRlLhFaFtpOGr4F1jYfY7_p8UhrCZJHpRgx0Qj1R_kSM6P4Jp4nl4E-ppWMWBlXcdFTDSWYmmwiq3FOmZ9gAY23EjbQIM7w_obrlPo9qz-jrfOaAZSIv6EugGtK_uu0zWVOHDBWJwk/s1600-h/Go+Outside+and+Play.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwMRlLhFaFtpOGr4F1jYfY7_p8UhrCZJHpRgx0Qj1R_kSM6P4Jp4nl4E-ppWMWBlXcdFTDSWYmmwiq3FOmZ9gAY23EjbQIM7w_obrlPo9qz-jrfOaAZSIv6EugGtK_uu0zWVOHDBWJwk/s400/Go+Outside+and+Play.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336289511698316066" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >I used to know this kid who sold rocks on the street corner in the summer.<span style=""> </span>Like a lemonade stand.<span style=""> </span>Only it was rocks.<span style=""> </span>Just ordinary rocks.<span style=""> </span>He’d tried selling lemonade, but you have to have money to buy the lemonade and stuff, he explained.<span style=""> </span>With rocks there was no start-up costs and no overhead.<span style=""> </span>Besides, he didn’t feel as fervently about lemonade as he did about his rocks.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >The sheer novelty of it caused a neighborhood sensation.<span style=""> </span>People were actually stopping to buy his rocks.<span style=""> </span>Rocks they could pick up for free themselves if they just bent over.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >“How do you find your rocks?” I asked him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“I just look at the ground and look really carefully.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">It’s like that with writing most of the time.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I’m serious about writing.<span style=""> </span>But I’m not a serious writer.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I’m not the sort of writer who can move people with my prose.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes I try.<span style=""> </span>Occasionally, I even succeed.<span style=""> </span>No trick to it really.<span style=""> </span>I just look at the ground and look really carefully.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">If I sporadically drift into the more serious stuff on this blog---well, most of the time it’s because I have nothing funny to write about.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">However, if Nonsense were a profession…<span style=""> </span>Well, I sure as hell wouldn’t be waiting tables, I can tell you that much.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Between furious blogging over the past few days and my seasonal allergies taking a real toll, I woke up this morning completely wiped.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Didn’t help that I’ve had coughing fits all night for the past few days.<span style=""> </span>But I go thru this every year.<span style=""> </span>It’s bothersome.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes embarrassing.<span style=""> </span>And occasionally painful when you’re doubled up crying with a coughing fit.<span style=""> </span>But I probably have the strongest abs in town.<span style=""> </span>This morning, I consider writing a book.<span style=""> </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Coughing Your Way to Terrific Abs.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">I make myself laugh and cough some more.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Then I crawl back into bed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">An hour and a half later, I wake up and realize that I’d overslept.<span style=""> </span>I show up late to my own film shoot.<span style=""> </span>Coughing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">In between coughs, I start to lose my voice.<span style=""> </span>My friend Nina suggests I go to a doctor.<span style=""> </span>I sigh.<span style=""> </span>And cough.<span style=""> </span>She has allergies, too.<span style=""> </span>She suggests I ask for an inhaler.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">An inhaler?<span style=""> </span>I don’t want to be one of those inhaler people.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I cough some more.<span style=""> </span>Suddenly, everyone there starts encouraging me to go see and doctor and get something.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A high-pitched little moan comes out of my mouth and I manage to squeak out the words, “But I wanna go outside and play.”</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">After the shoot today, I decided to walk thru the park.<span style=""> </span>Maybe, just maybe, I thought, my allergies would be better if I were actually in closer proximity to the pollen.<span style=""> </span>After all, I didn’t start to get allergies till I moved to <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state>.<span style=""> </span>Maybe it wasn’t the flowers, but the skyscrapers causing the problem.<span style=""> </span>Maybe what I needed was a little pollen vaccine.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A friend of mine and I had talked about doing something on Friday.<span style=""> </span>I got to the park and watched the kids playing on the swings and slides.<span style=""> </span>I wanted to play, too.<span style=""> </span>I reached into my bag to get my cell and then remembered that my battery had died during the shoot.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Oh well.<span style=""> </span>I never had a problem playing by myself.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then I saw this:</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie7UWj1tQ3pvI1V7xeW8E5yATRMKRuzhod_RUAu6ARJ9s1oaw9-W8fXSgr_Mw87aJWFPIzhUdupExt7TS97KquoN2P3qqzfxDHVpoIbDcFCvwxWuwurSVKH8y7AnF0YLU_qSIaU-Ckam4/s1600-h/Playground+sign.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 321px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie7UWj1tQ3pvI1V7xeW8E5yATRMKRuzhod_RUAu6ARJ9s1oaw9-W8fXSgr_Mw87aJWFPIzhUdupExt7TS97KquoN2P3qqzfxDHVpoIbDcFCvwxWuwurSVKH8y7AnF0YLU_qSIaU-Ckam4/s400/Playground+sign.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336289003730839842" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Apparently, the very first rule of the playground is that adults unaccompanied by children can’t play!</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">But what if I want to swing on the swing?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I know they’re just trying to keep out the perverts, but why can’t I play?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Sure, I know I could probably go swing on the swing and nobody would say anything.<span style=""> </span>But those darn kids are monopolizing all the swings.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And do I really want to be the creepy lady hogging the swing?<span style=""> </span>Taking photos of her foot?</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Sometimes it sucks to be a grown-up.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">As I walked away from the park, I found myself actually pouting.<span style=""> </span>Pouting.<span style=""> </span>It’s not fair.<span style=""> </span>I wanna play, too.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then I heard a little jingle.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then I saw this:</p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2votSKQ1vAqk7hNnGu9OjJUAJ2gb0zGV9T-jdwn5m53Zz9cCHMSLt7MLSfapXSbwhYTal-71ixKb1wrKapaLJx7K4Sf48_uooPuodp5geTZWKVyfmZkvy0LCam8ALSAwzzBALeYzL1c/s1600-h/Ice+Cream+Truck.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2votSKQ1vAqk7hNnGu9OjJUAJ2gb0zGV9T-jdwn5m53Zz9cCHMSLt7MLSfapXSbwhYTal-71ixKb1wrKapaLJx7K4Sf48_uooPuodp5geTZWKVyfmZkvy0LCam8ALSAwzzBALeYzL1c/s320/Ice+Cream+Truck.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336288426603395698" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And, just like that, my frown turned upside-down.<span style=""> </span>One good thing about being a grown-up, you don’t have to run inside crying to Mom to give you a dollar for ice cream.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I bought a Dreamsickle and sat down on the ground to eat it.<span style=""> </span></p>
<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga-oWPkR2Alb10h_gqhhsMV4m3roLcolcORPH-Gs6EWwtaKfT9wgG6n26A3Ty2XdtjddrHYprEoEyd-N7rmJN1ONnY8H4ztRJy8akp6LDG4huk7QL3CXwoAU8oo8LsKFe8Nzn9LefIhYQ/s1600-h/Ice+Cream+Bar.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga-oWPkR2Alb10h_gqhhsMV4m3roLcolcORPH-Gs6EWwtaKfT9wgG6n26A3Ty2XdtjddrHYprEoEyd-N7rmJN1ONnY8H4ztRJy8akp6LDG4huk7QL3CXwoAU8oo8LsKFe8Nzn9LefIhYQ/s320/Ice+Cream+Bar.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336288338193766226" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">As I ate my ice cream bar, a mother walked by with two kids.<span style=""> </span>They saw the ice cream truck, too and started screaming for ice cream.<span style=""> </span>She told them to be quiet and pulled them away.<span style=""> </span>They cried.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Maybe I can't swing on the swing---but at least I get ice cream.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Back in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>, I wrote a story for the weekly on Nathan.<span style=""> </span>The Rock Boy.<span style=""> </span>One article later, he was a local celebrity.<span style=""> </span>People were coming to the neighborhood to look for him and buy his rocks.<span style=""> </span>He was recognized at the Minnesota State Fair.<span style=""> </span>Cops from another precinct brought over a rock tumbler and some rocks to give to this odd little kid.<span style=""> </span>And, at the paper, I received a package one day addressed to me.<span style=""> </span>The note inside was in Old Lady Handwriting and simply read, “My boys are all grown now.<span style=""> </span>Will you get these to this boy.”<span style=""> </span>Inside, some books on rocks and insects were neatly wrapped around a copy of the article on Nathan.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It was the largest piece I’d written for the paper since I’d been there.<span style=""> </span>For the first time in my life, I really felt I’d written something that people connected with.<span style=""> </span>Well, I’d OVER-WRITTEN something and my editor made some cuts.<span style=""> </span>But still…it was all me.<span style=""> </span>I’d done good.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I also felt like I’d ruined something innocent.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’d been so inspired by Nathan’s imagination that I took it, made it my own; and, by doing so, ruined the simple pastime of a child selling rocks in front of his house.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I didn’t mean for him to become a celebrity.<span style=""> </span>I had just looked at the ground, and looked really carefully.<span style=""> </span>And there was Nathan.<span style=""> </span>Selling his rocks.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I couldn’t help but be inspired.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Ever since then, I’ve been careful not to ruin the purity of the Nathans.<span style=""> </span>He was just outside playing. <span style=""> </span>I was looking for a story.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Today, I thank the people who play---just for the sake of playing.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Who do things simply for the joy of doing it.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >As writers, we don’t mean to exploit you.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >It's just that you inspire us. And sometimes, I think we’re jealous that we can’t play, too.</span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-60445213086915328242009-05-15T18:36:00.000-07:002009-05-18T23:50:17.780-07:00My Right Foot---Day 19: Knitting and Daiquiris<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfl2ZSsNZd5332PfC_WCzuJJ4wRbLwKDuuxL2jSjuJa1l3tBFjbibai4ZSBDza0ErYCyusJI3XdHT7UaZcFBlh9uwL9swRZchl3tmRkoB3spiUdlGxJ53ZYoSm5cANLThCtfojKfZDDw/s1600-h/Knitting+on+Train.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfl2ZSsNZd5332PfC_WCzuJJ4wRbLwKDuuxL2jSjuJa1l3tBFjbibai4ZSBDza0ErYCyusJI3XdHT7UaZcFBlh9uwL9swRZchl3tmRkoB3spiUdlGxJ53ZYoSm5cANLThCtfojKfZDDw/s320/Knitting+on+Train.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336229969468984082" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Today I had an appointment with my friend Toni.<span style=""> </span>Toni is an older woman I know who is also a regular at our bar.<span style=""> </span>She comes in after work for a light bite to eat, orders a single cocktail, and pulls out her knitting.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >She is SERIOUS about knitting.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">So serious, in fact, that she is part of a group that knits sweaters for merchant seamen and sailors---unshrinkable wools, of course.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I don’t know how to knit.<span style=""> </span>I can crochet a bit, and actually reached the point where I could crochet little doilies out of thin cotton string. Yet another useless skill I could add to my resume.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Doily-maker.
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Today, Toni was going to give me my first knitting lesson.<span style=""> </span>I had some knitting needles (sent to me by my aunt who had picked them up at a garage sale) and I brought them in with a ball of yarn.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">We sat there at the bar as Toni showed me how to get started with the first stitch.<span style=""> </span>It looked so simple.<span style=""> </span>So easy.<span style=""> </span>Her fingers ran deftly through the yarn without hesitation or error.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgof4Z5zOmMcikHvcqp6c_rqLSK3_EXQQva8yFepMa9HzVSPjxT0lIDLPjB7Bs0xK-o2ltv-SvAwgqRUwhW8kIjunehTYIsQFHU9Yy3t_MrnnI6qWHUvXWi8v9INVRb3RKgnOf-it-Fnkw/s1600-h/Knitting.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgof4Z5zOmMcikHvcqp6c_rqLSK3_EXQQva8yFepMa9HzVSPjxT0lIDLPjB7Bs0xK-o2ltv-SvAwgqRUwhW8kIjunehTYIsQFHU9Yy3t_MrnnI6qWHUvXWi8v9INVRb3RKgnOf-it-Fnkw/s320/Knitting.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336230225083839506" border="0" /></a><span style=""> </span></p> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: georgia;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="font-family: georgia;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">I, however, did not fare as well.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“I will be starting with a scarf,” I declared.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Toni laughed.<span style=""> </span>Everyone has to start with a scarf.<span style=""> </span>Lots and lots of scarves. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Everyone at work got a little chuckle out of my latest new hobby.<span style=""> </span>Envisioning Toni and I propped up at the bar with our knitting and daiquiris like a couple of crazy Madame DuFarges knitting away as we watched the heads roll.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">“How many things do you need to know?” a friend of mine said jokingly. I think she's getting a little burned because I'm picking up her Jamaican patois.
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Later that night, I learned at least six new Bengali words from the busboys.<span style=""> </span>I just can’t stop it.<span style=""> </span>It’s how I pass the time.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">As I sat practicing my knitting on the train home, I realized that I learn new things everyday.<span style=""> </span>Always have.<span style=""> </span>I read.<span style=""> </span>I ask questions.<span style=""> </span>I look things up on the Internet.<span style=""> </span>I take classes.<span style=""> </span>I go out and explore.<span style=""> </span>I watch documentaries.<span style=""> </span>But I love, more than anything, learning directly from other people.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">People are my biggest influence.<span style=""> </span>And inspiration.<span style=""> </span>Sure, nature is great.<span style=""> </span>But a flower can’t teach you how to play the dulcimer.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Today, I pay tribute to some of my teachers and the things they taught.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My Mom.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me to speak.<span style=""> </span>To use the potty.<span style=""> </span>And how to throw knives in the backyard.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My Aunt Joyce.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to sing harmony.<span style=""> </span>To cross a street.<span style=""> </span>How to bake cookies.<span style=""> </span>And how to form my first chords on a guitar.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My Grandma.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to clean a crystal chandelier.<span style=""> </span>And how to tell if a puppy was a boy or a girl.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">My Uncle Virgil.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to edit and splice Super 8 film.<span style=""> </span>And how to eat ice cream without getting a headache.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">My grade school friend, Kathy.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to do my nails.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Sr. Felicetta and Sr. Alice.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to play the piano.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Kevin.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to play cribbage.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Dave.<span style=""> </span>Who gave me my one and only driving lesson.<span style=""> </span>I still don’t know how to drive.<span style=""> </span>But, that afternoon, I got really good at pulling over and letting people pass.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">The bus boys.<span style=""> </span>Who happily walk around on a daily basis repeating Bengali words and phrases over and over to me as if I were a trained monkey.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Craig and a bunch of his stupid friends.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me in college how to shotgun a beer in the backseat of a car.<span style=""> </span>Could have done without that one, I guess.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Jim.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to edit myself---I try, Jim. I swear. Really, I try.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Julie.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me Meisner.<span style=""> </span>And showed me that I really could act.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Suzi.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me Quickbooks and how to REALLY walk in high heels.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Sr. Jude.<span style=""> </span>Who tried to teach me Chemistry.<span style=""> </span>Tried and tried and tried.<span style=""> </span>And then finally uttered, with sadness in her voice, “You’re just so…artistic.”<span style=""> </span>Eventually, she sort of helped me cheat to pass the final exam.<span style=""> </span>But you didn’t hear that from me.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">My cat.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to take care of her.<span style=""> </span>Really, it’s all about her.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Kathy.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to smoke cigarettes and not get caught.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Blaine</st1:place></st1:city>.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me to read, write and speak Hindi.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Jenn.<span style=""> </span>Who taught me how to catch a bat without harming it.</p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >And my Great-Aunt Bea.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Who taught me that leaning stuff is what makes you feel alive.</span><span style=""> </span></p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-9349609021755143942009-05-15T02:08:00.000-07:002015-01-04T19:44:23.562-08:00My Right Foot---Day 18: The Triggering Town<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjE6jqdqLVmG4dojZ7AZKosdNJFhG-O_AUjMCH3pugeewleNwJxNDwjbNlEQbtmSYV1o88wvqokqCbY-vUX8Dxba6pu9-d1wemxUAq7nqbVnDNlyxlRwf3HEdCl8hPUWmbbdeHAcEjWQ/s1600-h/The+Triggering+Town.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjE6jqdqLVmG4dojZ7AZKosdNJFhG-O_AUjMCH3pugeewleNwJxNDwjbNlEQbtmSYV1o88wvqokqCbY-vUX8Dxba6pu9-d1wemxUAq7nqbVnDNlyxlRwf3HEdCl8hPUWmbbdeHAcEjWQ/s320/The+Triggering+Town.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335975706570336162" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a>
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<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="PlaceName" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="PlaceType" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><img src="//img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png" style="background-color: #b2b2b2; " class="BLOGGER-object-element tr_noresize tr_placeholder" id="ieooui" data-original-id="ieooui" /> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Bookman Old Style"; panose-1:2 5 6 4 5 5 5 2 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:647 0 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <br />
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I think one of the best gift books a writer can give to another writer is a small little thing called, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Triggering Town</span> by Richard Hugo.</div>
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Richard Hugo was a poet.</div>
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And if the word “poet” conjures up images of guys in berets or a drunk girl pulling a spiral notebook full of her teenage poems out from a drawer on a date-gone-bad---think again.</div>
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All writers should read poetry. No other branch of the writing tree lays such an emphasis on rhythm, syntax, and brevity.</div>
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Even the best lyric writing will often find itself dependent upon the hook.</div>
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Poetry is the most difficult of the writing arts to master.</div>
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If you are a writer, and you don’t read poetry (good poetry) on a regular basis, you’re really missing the boat.</div>
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Today, while pondering which of my inspiring friends I would write about in my daily blog, I got an email from my friend Paul. He told me he’d been reading my blog and following my journey out of Artistic Scurvy-land. He also sent me some of his recent poems.</div>
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Paul is a poet. Lives in New Orleans, now. This is what he does.</div>
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Getting poetry in my Inbox, for me, is completely normal.</div>
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Back in college, I had a small circle of poet friends. They were serious about the craft. And somehow, though not a poet by any means, I was included in their little group. It seems funny to say now, but I was flattered. It was Paul and Randy and Rodney who made me realize, for the first time in my life, that I actually had the ability to write.</div>
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They all seemed filled with angst.</div>
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I was filled with silly.</div>
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But I wrote.</div>
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Little pieces. Articles on music. Short stories that no one ever saw. That sort of thing. Looking back, what we seemed to have in common was The Trigger. The ability to be inspired by the same sort of thing. A train station. A phrase. A small stretch of the river. A one-armed man. A fish. A man drumming on a table screaming that “God has forsaken me.” A strange woman drunkenly declaring to us that she was dying of AIDS and giving us her possessions over cheap draft beers.</div>
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We took these moments and made them our own.</div>
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If you write about it---it’s yours.</div>
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And if you can do it well, that simple moment in time transcends. Becomes real for others. They read it. And, in an interior fashion, make it their own.</div>
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Perhaps they begin to see the triggers and stake their own claims.</div>
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The cycle continues.</div>
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It was the poets who told me of Richard Hugo. I fell in love with his simple words and sat in awe one day on the banks of the <st1:place st="on">Missouri River</st1:place> reading his collected works. Wondering how he was able to draw so much beauty out of obscurity. How nothing became something. And how I, somehow, understood.</div>
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I’d read poetry before. In grade school and high school, the classics had been shoved down our throats. But Tennyson is not for teens. And Rimbaud wasn’t writing for the Gossip Girl set. Most of us dutifully schemed the poems and simply prayed that Robert Frost wouldn’t turn up on the final exam.</div>
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But that day, as the <st1:place st="on">Missouri River</st1:place> rushed by, I somehow was able to translate what Hugo wrote:</div>
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When old, you needed words like “lake.”</div>
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“<st1:place st="on">Lake</st1:place>” I’d say. Your eyes began to farm.</div>
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Horses took you and a friend where coves</div>
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were wonderful with bass---bluegills</div>
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clowning for your rind below the log.</div>
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Catfish ran five pounds. See my picture.</div>
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See my mustache then. Any photo fades.</div>
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You remain in yellow with your catch.</div>
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Richard Hugo was one of the few great writers who could also teach. But he did so, in a typical Hugo-like fashion.</div>
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“You’ll never be a poet until you realize that everything I say today and this quarter is wrong,” he wrote.</div>
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The <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Triggering</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Town</st1:placetype></st1:place> is a collection of essays based on his teaching. He doesn’t as much tell you HOW to write, as he tells you how to live.</div>
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“To write a poem you must have a streak of arrogance---not in real life I hope. In real life try to be nice. It will save you a hell of a lot of trouble and give you more time to write.”</div>
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And his writing advice slaps you across the face with shrewd authority and a silly piece of string.</div>
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“Use ‘love’ only as a transitive verb for at least fifteen years.”</div>
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“Don’t be afraid to take emotional possession of words. If you don’t love a few words enough to own them, you will have to be very clever to write a good poem.”</div>
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“No semicolons. Semicolons indicate relationships that only idiots need defined by punctuation. Besides, they are ugly.”</div>
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More than anything, he talks about the triggers. That certain something you spy with your little eye that gets your imagination going.</div>
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But imagination can’t be taught. Hugo acknowledges this, in so many words.</div>
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Today I remember a day in college. Working at a local hangout with Randy. Paul comes in. Wearing a robe. He’d been modeling for the college art classes to make some cash on the side. He’s lovelorn. Moaning about some woman whose name I don’t know. Randy is about to drop out of school. He eventually does. With the choice of taking his final exam or going to see Leon Redbone perform, he chooses Leon Redbone. One of our friends (a bass player, I think) walks in with a loaf of Wonder Bread taped to his head. He is going thru a Dada phase. We barely bat an eye.</div>
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“I feel just feel like quitting everything I’m doing,” he tells me at the counter, as he stands there with a bonnet of bread. I try to get inside his dough-covered head.</div>
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“I know. But you’re thinking that it would be even stupider to quit, right?”</div>
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His eyes light up. I understand.</div>
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Rodney had proposed to his long-time gal. He was older than us. At least ten years, I think. The Godfather of the group. Later that night. we go out for pitchers of beer and potato chips smothered in ranch dressing and parmesan cheese. It’s bad poetry night, and everyone brings their worst. We careen in laughter at poorly written stanzas and order another round.</div>
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And, though not a poet, I bring a poem that night, as well. A poem titled, <span style="font-style: italic;">“The Last Bad Poem I’ll Ever Write.”</span></div>
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It’s inspired by something Rodney had said a few weeks earlier on another bad poetry night. Something he mumbled before every poem that he read.</div>
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“This is the last bad poem I’ll ever write.”</div>
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We would laugh---knowing there will never truly be a last. And then he would read. And read another. All of them bad. And all of them declared the worst. But Rodney was brilliant---and scathingly self-deprecating. We never imagined there would be another worst. Nor a day when another worst would never come.
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But I was determined to top them all. Like a sponge, I’d soaked up their various styles. Their references. Their Triggering Towns. And collected them all into one poem.
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"The Last Bad Poem I’ll Ever Write"</div>
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To this day, I can still recite it from memory.</div>
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God has put this bottle into my hands<o:p></o:p></div>
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and sent me down to the river.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To think of nothing<o:p></o:p></div>
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or at least to try.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At least that’s what I thought.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Nothing more,<o:p></o:p></div>
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except how the driftwood floating by <o:p></o:p></div>
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reminded me of you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And how you were merely a dead branch from a living tree.</div>
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A salmon jumped up<o:p></o:p></div>
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and I thought it was you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But the damn fish had fooled me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I smoked my last cigarette and<o:p></o:p></div>
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threw the butt into the water<o:p></o:p></div>
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and watched it follow you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Unafraid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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It may not seem funny to you, but the entire table was doubled over in stitches as I read. In one bad poem, I’d parodied them all. And, thru writing, I’d made them laugh.</div>
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And if they laughed…then I could write.</div>
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A few weeks later, I was thrilled when Rodney took the time to read something I’d written for real.
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For serious.</div>
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Rodney was the center. The only real writer amongst us. We were nothing but proletarians lurking at his feet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
I still have a copy of the poem I showed him that day---with his markings on the side. He particularly liked a phrase I’d used:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
Not really waiting for the bus. But not really minding if it came.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
I saw Rodney smile. I’d made a moment my own. Claimed it. And, in the murk of an otherwise bad poem, Rodney had spotted this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
And I spotted myself. Not long after, I began writing my first play.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
A few months after I left my college town, I got a call one night from a friend. Just one of those friends-about-town who know the same people. “I don’t know if you know a guy named Rodney Tullis. But he died last week. In a car accident. Such a shame.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
I’ve written about this before. So I don’t want to talk about it again. But his death hit the poet group like a meteorite smashing into The Grand Canyon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
His death was the ultimate <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Triggering</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Town</st1:placetype></st1:place>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
Not even Tennyson’s death could possibly have inspired more verse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I even took a stab. This is what I wrote the night I heard the news:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
On hearing news of Rodney...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" face="georgia" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
The moths are all excited---<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
zooming in like drunken pilots towards their<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
destination.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
Antique velvet wings flickering in<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
from recesses of the night towards the<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
solitary light.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
The phone rings,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<span style="font-style: italic;">far along the outskirts of the luminescence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I had been sitting on my mother’s back porch. It was night. Summer. When the phone rang, and it was for me, I would go outside to talk and grab a cigarette. The moths hounded me under the solitary light bulb as I heard the news.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I remember I came inside bawling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
My mother asked me what happened. I told her a friend of mine had died. She seemed to have no reaction. Later, I realized it was the reaction of experience. A sad symptom of age.<br />
<br />
She’d seen many die. I had seen few.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br />
I was a mess. She left me alone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I went down to the corner store and bought a bottle of something called “Boone’s Apple Wine” or something like that.
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I never drank at home. Certainly, never alone. But that night, I sat on my back porch and drank and cried about Rodney. I called everyone who knew him. Tried to get all the details. And how was his wife? How was his mother, riddled with Huntington’s Chorea, taking the news?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
To this day, I think an entire book could be written on the ripple effect Rodney’s death had over this tiny community.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
It’s the poets of your life who teach you the things that cannot be taught.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
The Triggering Town.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
In Zen terms---The Way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
To have been included in this group for that short span of time was an honor and a privilege. And I will never cease to be grateful for the enlightenment they provided.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
Today, one of Paul’s poems pops out of the computer screen:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">The way out is pure. If you want to find<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">a way out. This is all that I really believe: You<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">need to forget many things. Say: I forget<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">and I forgive. Take one of those leaflets they<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">hand out on the street and read it then throw<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">it away. Forget. Forgive. But this isn't<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">new, nothing new here. Look your loved <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">one in the face and decide what you need to<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">do. Do you love your loved one? The time we<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">have trickles away, you know. Stare into the<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">man's eyes. The man you don't know that happens<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">to be walking down the same sidewalk as you -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">he is going in the opposite direction. He is going<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">south and you are going north. You have said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">many things in your life so far. Many words<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">have passed between your lips, flopped out<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">into the air, made music, sang the song. The<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">world is chaotic inside its randomness. The radio<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">station delivers me the color of a faraway distance now-<o:p></o:p>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">tells me night is becoming morning - tells me all kinds<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">of things - repeats the word until the word<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">begins to make just enough sense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
He captures. Triggers. And causes the circle to begin again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
Rodney would be proud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
Today, I forget to take a picture of my right foot. I begin to stress. I get home tonight and remember The Trigger that inspired this whole process to begin with---a photo I'd taken a few years ago in black and white of my foot on some railroad tracks.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I look for the photo, but can't find it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I do, however, find another photo of the railroad tracks I'd taken that same day. I add my right foot into the mix.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
Still Life with Right Foot.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
Paul still has angst.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
I still have silly.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
But then, I'm not a poet. I continue to scribble.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia;">Hoping to make Rodney proud.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-19624613522693508432009-05-14T02:31:00.000-07:002009-06-03T00:35:33.635-07:00My Right Foot---Day 17: Elmyr de Hory, and The People Who Know Who He Is<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_78-Lf-QLkAl6kayOYiEd-k0i-TVkVNNyy6oxkEkiePP1NoIMsv8St0fqDccNnE3ncZD0YnCegRBxSHG6R_O-Q4D5od5hlYcKtAx5_Ok5kxgjYWUM3Rf1ODCYObzosEw4a_rWk0Wd7os/s1600-h/Elmyr+de+Hory+and+Foot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_78-Lf-QLkAl6kayOYiEd-k0i-TVkVNNyy6oxkEkiePP1NoIMsv8St0fqDccNnE3ncZD0YnCegRBxSHG6R_O-Q4D5od5hlYcKtAx5_Ok5kxgjYWUM3Rf1ODCYObzosEw4a_rWk0Wd7os/s320/Elmyr+de+Hory+and+Foot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335610515525734050" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceName"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceType"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >Writing is solitary work.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >And that lovely waitress/writer combo sometimes leaves you very little time to get out of the garret and spend time with people who actually understand what you’re trying to do.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" >It’s also hard to find those people.<span style=""> </span>Most writers are like me---holed up in their apartments.<span style=""> </span>Writing.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Sure, you meet other writers along the way.<span style=""> </span>But, like any profession, just because you do the same job, doesn’t mean you always click.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">They could be the greatest writer in the world, but if they’re a jackass, you’re probably not going to be doing coffee anytime soon.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">A few years ago, I became fascinated with a man named Elmyr de Hory.<span style=""> </span>Elmyr was a painter.<span style=""> </span>An artist.<span style=""> </span>Well…sort of.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">In the 1960s, Elmyr de Hory, a World War II Hungarian refugee and artist of little note, was suddenly thrust into the international spotlight when he was discovered to be the most prolific art forger of the Twentieth Century.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">Several countries were trying to extradite him from the tiny <st1:place st="on"><st1:placetype st="on">island</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename st="on">Ibiza</st1:placename></st1:place> in order to stand trial.<span style=""> </span>And this little-known, painter of portraits of people like Zsa Zsa Gabor, was suddenly the most sought-after man in the world.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal" face="georgia">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">It helped that he was a charmer.<span style=""> </span>A bit of a con-artist.<span style=""> </span>A great story-teller.<span style=""> </span>And also, an amazing duplicator of the works of Picasso, Modigliani, Matisse and many of the most important artists of the early Twentieth Century.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">His legal “out” was always the claim that he never signed a painting with the artists’ name.<span style=""> </span>Never.<span style=""> </span>If they chose to believe it was a Picasso (according to the scrupulous detail and the carefully crafted forged authenticity papers designed by his unscrupulous business partners) well, that was their fault.<span style=""> </span>If they’re buying art for profit---they should know better.<span style=""> </span>Idiots.<span style=""> </span>Posers.<span style=""> </span>Nouveau riche.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Elmyr believed you should buy art because you loved it.<span style=""> </span>Not to show-off your financial status on your walls.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">And you should buy art from living, working artists---if you were REALLY serious about supporting the arts, that is.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">Clifford Irving, who later became known for his own hoax regarding the Howard Hughes letters, had been living in <st1:place st="on">Ibiza</st1:place> at the time and knew Elmyr from the local cafes.<span style=""> </span>He wrote and published the book <span style="font-style: italic;">Fake!:</span><span style="font-style: italic;">The Story of Elmyr de Hory the Greatest Art Forger of Our Time</span>, based on stories dictated to him by Elmyr.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A few years ago, I found the book at a Salvation Army and was intrigued by the title.<span style=""> </span>I became even more intrigued when I discovered that Orson Welles had shot a film partially about Elmyr---<span style="font-style: italic;">F for Fake</span>.<span style=""> </span>The film is a Wellesian tour thru the art of trickery; and, Welles himself, said shortly before his death, that it was the sort of film he wanted to continue making for the rest of his life.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">There is no precedent for <span style="font-style: italic;">F for Fake</span>.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Nor any followers.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;">F for Fake</span> stands alone as a curiosity of film history.<span style=""> </span>Part documentary.<span style=""> </span>Part canvas.<span style=""> </span>Part charlatan.<span style=""> </span>And all Welles.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I’d just written and directed a play about Orson Welles, so it seemed natural to try to turn the story of Elmyr into a play.<span style=""> </span>I happily jumped into that writing phase that all writers love---research.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Thru an online search, I discovered that a documentary had been made a few years earlier by a Norwegian film crew called <span style="font-style: italic;">Masterpiece or Forgery:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic;">The Story of Elmyr de Hory</span>.<span style=""> </span>I ordered it from Amazon and watched it intently.<span style=""> </span>I took notes.<span style=""> </span>I researched the filmmakers.<span style=""> </span>And I got up the nerve to send an email to the producer of the film in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Norway</st1:place></st1:country-region>, telling him of my project.<span style=""> </span>He immediately emailed me back from <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Norway</st1:place></st1:country-region> and gave me the email address of the director of the film and suggested I contact him.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Within 24 hours, the director, a man named Knut Jorfald, emailed me back with a stunning bit of news:<span style=""> </span>“It’s so great that you’re writing a play about good-old Elmyr.<span style=""> </span>And you’re in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>!<span style=""> </span>So you must know Mark Forgy.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">What?</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">As I’m assuming you dear readers are NOT a part of the select group of people who know who Elmyr is; then you certainly don’t know about Mark Forgy.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Well, Forgy was Elmyr’s companion at the time of Elmyr’s death.<span style=""> </span>Elmyr died in his arms after an overdose of sleeping pills---the extradition had been approved and Elmyr couldn’t face the trial.<span style=""> </span>Forgy was also the sole heir of Elmyr’s estate.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And apparently, this guy lived in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I looked him up in the phone book.<span style=""> </span>Not only did he live in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>---he was in my neighborhood.<span style=""> </span>I’d been emailing all the way to <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Norway</st1:place></st1:country-region> only to discover that my primary source was just a few blocks away.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I called Mr. Forgy and explained that Knut Jorfald had suggested I speak with him.<span style=""> </span>He said he would be delighted to meet with me to talk about Elmyr.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">A few days later, I walked over to his home in <st1:place st="on">South Minneapolis</st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>Elmyr’s forgeries filled the walls.<span style=""> </span>Forgeries that, by now, had become works on art in their own right.<span style=""> </span>Galleries all over the world were now turning up fake de Hory’s.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Fakes of fakes.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Mark said that Elmyr would have laughed.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">In his dining room, I saw the beautiful hand-carved Spanish dining room table I’d seen in the Orson Welles film.<span style=""> </span>He showed me Elmyr’s family photos and gave me a tour of the house, upstairs and down---completely covered, wall-to-wall, with fakes.<span style=""> </span>Renoirs.<span style=""> </span>Picassos.<span style=""> </span>Matisses. <span style=""> </span>Legers.<span style=""> </span>And even some original de Horys.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Elmyr had always been proudest of his own work.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">For a writer, the discovery of someone so interested and knowledgeable about your subject matter is sheer bliss.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">And then, to suddenly be surrounded by the belongings of your fascination is simply Nirvana.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">It’s moments like this that keep writers going when they’re tired of not being able to go out with their friends on a Saturday night.<span style=""> </span>When they’re sick of trying to re-write the same monologue over and over again.<span style=""> </span>When they are simply disgusted at the thought of sitting down in front of the computer for even one more hour.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">You meet someone who knows who Elmyr de Hory is---and your load immediately gets lighter.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">These days, I’m laying off the historical pieces and putting my energy into original characters.<span style=""> </span>Laying off the drama and writing more humor.<span style=""> </span>Though sometimes, by this blog, you’d be hard-pressed to tell.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I know a lot of comics.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">Outside of their own jokes---they don’t really write.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">I know a lot of writers.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">They’re not all that funny.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And then last year, I met my friend Dean.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Dean appeared suddenly as a friend of a friend who could fill a hole left in a staged reading I was presenting.<span style=""> </span>One of my actor friends turned out to be busy that day and Dean’s name and contact info appeared in my Inbox.<span style=""> </span>I contacted him and he said he would be happy to read.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">A few days later, he nailed the cold read.<span style=""> </span>After the reading, he and I and our mutual friend, Lauren, went out for a drink.<span style=""> </span>Within one hour, I discovered that he, too, was a writer.<span style=""> </span>We had the same tastes.<span style=""> </span>Same influences.<span style=""> </span>And occasionally, completed each other’s sentences---usually ending in a punchline.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And nothing turns a writer’s head more than someone who gets what they write.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“I know you don’t know anything about me,” he said as we all walked down the street, “but if you ever have anything where you need a director…I’d love to direct.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">I didn’t know anything about him.<span style=""> </span>But I knew he had the instincts.<span style=""> </span>I’d heard him read.<span style=""> </span>Heard him hit all the notes just right.<span style=""> </span>He got it.<span style=""> </span>When you meet someone like that, you’d trust them with the world. Or even your script.
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<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Over the past few months, he has inspired me with his own writing and performances, texted me during important moments of my life, and encouraged me to be daring and bold and submit my work when I no longer cared to.<span style=""> </span>He’s made me laugh even when I didn’t want to---and in the way that I like to laugh the best.<span style=""> </span>He understands my love and obsession for those marginal people---the lonely ones just teetering on the edge.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes, I wonder if he thinks I’m one of those marginals myself.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">One night, he tells me how he hugs the homeless.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“But then you get that homeless stink on you,” I worry.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“I’ve got my own stink on me!” he laughs.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">He gets it.<span style=""> </span>He’s one of those people I like to call “good eggs”.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Every few weeks, I get to hear a new piece he’s written.<span style=""> </span>I watch him take risks as a writer and develop from those risks.<span style=""> </span>I watch him finding his own voice; and, slowly but surely, fitting that voice into the narrow confines of a stage play.<span style=""> </span>But without the confines…that’s where he will thrive.<span style=""> </span>Once he gets access to, what Welles called, “the most expensive paint box in the world”…look out.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">He has also, without knowing, helped me thru an emotionally difficult time.<span style=""> </span>On a weekly basis, he’s listened to my moanings about family problems, career problems, work problems, writing problems, and, without knowing, has been one of the only people able to draw me out of my (somewhat) self-imposed cocoon of the past few months.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">It must be nice being someone like that.<span style=""> </span>Someone who has the ability to draw people out of their mental prisons and send them out into the world renewed.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">One night, as we were talking about Orson Welles, I mentioned having written a play about Elmyr de Hory.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">“Wow,” he immediately replied.<span style=""> </span>“F for Fake.<span style=""> </span>Elmyr.<span style=""> </span>The art forger.<span style=""> </span>I used to listen to a tape of that film with my friends when we were driving.<span style=""> </span>I can’t believe you know about that.”</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">People like Mark Forgy and my friend Dean are the stuff that keep you going when you wonder if you will ever have anything original to say ever again.<span style=""> </span>They stimulate life and work and help to make the chore of writing actually enjoyable.
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<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">And way less solitary than it needs to be.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">Today, I submitted something for the first time in months---thanks to Dean's encouragement. I don't know if it will work for the folks I submitted to. I don't even know if it's any good. But thanks to him, I crawled out of my comfy writer's shell and tried to let my writing stand on its own two feet.
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<br /></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">If you can find those people who know about the Elmyr de Hory of your life…consider yourself very lucky, indeed.</p> hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-805211317679724201.post-636107330749948792009-05-13T23:13:00.000-07:002009-05-15T22:37:04.198-07:00My Right Foot---Day 16: Too Much Mustard<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWbPuPdeRDtZSglmptO9mI_jdcPffdXf2WBRtIyXNak2UrBq8p3KLMkjKZNW2gINbQtGq2tINDHYx04p5PsPtqBIWIEP2Kt46Rbmt347sTGyV3cUOn3ONIJfSSa4me2In0wSI6M61Ng6g/s1600-h/Mustard.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWbPuPdeRDtZSglmptO9mI_jdcPffdXf2WBRtIyXNak2UrBq8p3KLMkjKZNW2gINbQtGq2tINDHYx04p5PsPtqBIWIEP2Kt46Rbmt347sTGyV3cUOn3ONIJfSSa4me2In0wSI6M61Ng6g/s320/Mustard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335559271680153282" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5COwner%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Note:<span style=""> </span>Blogger has not been too friendly to me the past few days.<span style=""> </span>Seems they’re doing repairs and it’s wrecking havoc on the formatting (notice the beginning of the problems on my last post).<span style=""> </span>Seems better now, so I will try to update you as quickly as possible on the past few days.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“Too Much Mustard” always reminds me of that great scene in the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers film, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle</span>, when they first show off their dancing skills at a supper club in turn-of-the-century Paris.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">“Tell them to play <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Too Much Mustard'"</span>, Fred Astaire says all nervous.<span style=""> </span>The band kicks in and they rush to the dance floor to perform The Castle Walk.<span style=""> </span>And just like that, all of <st1:place st="on">Europe</st1:place> is immediately swept off their feet.<span style=""> </span>Literally.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">But right now, Too Much Mustard literally means that I have too much mustard in my kitchen.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">This is all due to a certain Mrs. Lear.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">An old friend of mine has an amazing blog called <a href="http://runciblebin.blogspot.com/">The Runcible Bin</a> that I love to follow.<span style=""> </span>On the blog, she goes by the pseudonym, Mrs. Lear.<span style=""> </span>In fact, it was her blog and another friend of mine’s blog, <a href="http://http//www.leighannlord.blogspot.com/">The Urban Erma</a>, that inspired me to start my little blog.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Mrs. Lear’s blog is full of gorgeous photos and little notes on what her creative little mind is up to that day.<span style=""> </span>Cooking, knitting, pottery, décor, little flea market finds---and all done with her personal sense of style.<span style=""> </span>It’s very distinctive.<span style=""> </span>Very adventurous.<span style=""> </span>VERY Mrs. Lear.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">These things are not for sale.<span style=""> </span>Nor does she post instructions on how to duplicate her wares.<span style=""> </span>It’s not like shopping.<span style=""> </span>Or even Martha Stewart.<span style=""> </span>No consumer chord is struck.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Instead, like a tiny, unknown acupuncture point---the sight of one single hand-knitted sock can boost your energy level, relieve your stress, and increase your creativity level tenfold.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">The effect is visceral.<span style=""> </span>Like going to a museum.<span style=""> </span>You don’t come out of there wanting to paint a Giotto---you just want to create.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Last week, Mrs. Lear posted a note about how she had made mustard.<span style=""> </span>I was immediately intrigued.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I LOVE mustard.<span style=""> </span>Always have at least four kinds handy in my kitchen---regular yellow, spicy brown, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Dijon</st1:place></st1:city> and whole grain.<span style=""> </span>But the thought that I could make my own mustard sent me spinning.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Little projects like this are the perfect retreat for me to get away from the computer, get out of my writing head, and spend an hour to two completely focused on the minutiae of mustard.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Monday afternoon, I devoted two whole hours of my life to mustard.<span style=""> </span>At the end of two hours, I had four little sample jars lined up in my kitchen.<span style=""> </span>Aging.<span style=""> </span>Yes, you need to age your mustard.<span style=""> </span>At least, that’s what I learned online in that two-hour period.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Of course, I should really devote more time to mustard if I’m going to get any real handle on the condiment.<span style=""> And Mrs. Lear told me via her blog that there are two whole books out about mustard. Whee! </span>
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<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Also, today’s experimentation not only cleared my mind, but also cleared my seasonal-allergy filled sinuses---boy, that mustard is spicy!</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">On days when I need to stay home and write and have no time to visit with my inspiring friends, Mrs. Lear is always there to inspire me to not only make mustard, but to be a creative person just for the sake of creating.</span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">While the mustard sat aging on my kitchen table, I went back to my writing.<span style=""> </span>Within an hour, with a clear head and sinuses, I was able to finish my latest writing project and hit that beloved “Print” button while wearing my mustard-colored socks.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">I decide I’ll take this week to thank some of my inspiring friends.<span style=""> </span>Not only do I feel they deserve it; but frankly, I’m getting a little tired of talking about myself over these 30 days.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Sometimes, you may not be able to get out of the garret.<span style=""> </span>But I’m so lucky to have friends like Mrs. Lear who can inspire me from afar.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:100%;">And, for added inspiration, here's a link to the tune, "Too Much Mustard", written in 1911 by Cecil Macklin and performed here by "Perfessor" Bill Edwards at the Sedalia, Missouri Scott Joplin Festival in 2008.</span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" face="georgia" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP6Gt4SWHc0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP6Gt4SWHc0</a>
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<br />hyacinthgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891460249982235138noreply@blogger.com0